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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to stop breastfeeding now

24 replies

alteredbeast · 28/01/2015 18:09

Breastfeeding dc3, now nine months. I breastfed my older two until they were 12 and 13 months respectively.

I've enjoyed it on the whole but I get to this stage and I look forward to my body being completely mine again and the freedom of baby not needing fed by me.

Yet it seems now that breastfeeding until 2 and beyond is the norm and here I am feeling guilty for wanting to stop soon!

OP posts:

SummerHouse · 28/01/2015 18:13

Only you know when the time is right and its not necessarily the exact same for each child. I did 5 months and 3 months and a tinge of guilt hit me but I know I was right.

Cantbelievethisishappening · 28/01/2015 18:18

It is so sad that anyone feels guilty with any aspect of how they feed their baby. You do what you want to do, not what is considered 'the norm'. It's your body after all. Where does this guilt come from? I am also not buying the feeding to 2 and beyond is the norm either.... says who?

KnackeredMerrily · 28/01/2015 18:20

I stopped at 12 months and was delighted!!! Just stop. Happy mum = happy baby

TeenageMutantNinjaTurtle · 28/01/2015 18:20

could you mix feed? my 7mo gets two breastfeeds a day and three bottles, means I can be apart from her, I just swap a breastfeed for a bottle... feels like the best of both worlds...

Tisnemo · 28/01/2015 18:21

Don't feel guilty-bf is such a personal thing and you'll have given your little one lots of goodness. Remember they have any memories of this and if you're happy then they will be happy.

Tisnemo · 28/01/2015 18:23

Forgot to add that I only managed 8 weeks for dd1 and a grand total of 4 days for dd2 and they are happy and healthy with no hideous after effects of being bottle fed!

Tisnemo · 28/01/2015 18:25

And my first post should say they won't have any memories

Charitybelle · 28/01/2015 18:50

I'm in the same boat op. My ds is now 3 months and I'm already combination feeding and looking forward to stopping with mixed feelings of both delight and guilt. Dd1 was ebf til 6 months, but it was a lot easier when I just had 1!
Ignore the guilt, it will disappear very quickly I'm sure as it is completely irrational. As long as they're happy and healthy, nothing else matters!

ispyfispi · 28/01/2015 19:46

If you are happy with the decision to stop you shouldn't feel guilty. Feeling guilty generally suggests you know it's not the right decision...imo

CrazyRainbowLady · 28/01/2015 19:49

Stop whenever you feel like it, it's your decision.
I always kept going until 2ish because it was the easiest option for me personally. I couldn't give two flying monkeys about what anyone else does and certainly wouldn't judge anyone for stopping.

phoenixrose314 · 28/01/2015 19:52

Happy mum = happy baby.

True story.

callamia · 28/01/2015 19:55

It does get a bit wearing at about 9m doesn't it? I think if you get last a year, it's become to routine that it's kind of easy to carry on. At 15m, I feed two or three times a day, it's not overwhelming and I can go out and know that he won't really miss me too much.

You should stop whenever you think it's right. You've got three children? So lots of pressure on your time, and you've already given that baby a great start, and you absolutely shouldn't feel guilty for deciding to stop. There are so many things to feel guilty about parenting, but feeding your child shouldn't be one of them.

SaucyJack · 28/01/2015 19:58

I'm in the exact same boat. I'm just hoping after DD3 turns a year in March she'll start to want solid food over incessant bloody breastfeeding.

Unfortunately she won't sleep without it. Which is awkward.

littlejohnnydory · 28/01/2015 20:00

It's not really the norm to feed until 2, there are very low breastfeeding rates in this country. It's worth knowing though that feeding a toddler is quite different from feeding a baby - they don't need it all the time, they can manage without if you go away overnight. Mine only fed at bedtime for quite a while. That said, you might still want to stop, which is fine. You've already done more than most. There are benefits to breastfeeding for longer but it's completely up to you whether it's something you want to do.

Jackieharris · 28/01/2015 20:00

2yrs isn't the norm.

Most mums aren't ebf by 6 weeks.

PrincessTheresaofLiechtenstein · 28/01/2015 20:04

You could never possibly BU for wanting to stop, it's your body! There is no place for guilt here, IMO.

Feeding until 2 is very much not "the norm" but it is optimal. If we are going to feel guilty for everything we do as parents that isn't optimal...it doesn't bear thinking about!

ithoughtofitfirst · 28/01/2015 20:04

I can't blame you! See how it goes for a few days but keep expressing.. then you can always change your mind if you regret it?

You shouldn't feel guilty though. Not at all x

1stMrsF · 28/01/2015 20:10

YANBU - it's your choice. My only comment would be if you are not sure maybe wait just a little bit longer? Has DC dropped any/many feeds yet? I remember finding 8.5-9.5m pretty overwhelming as all milk feeds plus 3 meals plus 3 naps must surely add up to more than 24 hours of work (felt like it - DTs though so multiplied!) but a month later, several feeds dropped, one more pushed with aid of a cup of milk and a snack and I carried on with 2 feeds a day until 14m very happily for all of us.

However, its just a thought. If you are ready to stop, stop.

FluffyTheEvilOne · 28/01/2015 20:10

I was sure I would bf till at least 1 year, but for various reasons stopped at 9mo. I mix fed from 4 1/2mo, gradually increasing ff. It felt right to stop when I did, and I am glad in a way to have my body back. I refuse to feel guilty about it!

If it's right for you to stop, do so.

Fwiw, I don't personally know any mums who bf till 2, although I know some do.

Notfastjustfurious · 28/01/2015 20:13

Oh goodness don't feel guilty my lo is 7 months and tbh I'd stop tomorrow if I could. It's harder when you have more than one and 6months is plenty time.

Aherdofmims · 28/01/2015 20:16

You wouldn't be u to stop now or to continue til 2. It's about you and your baby and a personal choice. You have given lots of goodness and there really isn't anything so bad about having formula for a few months.

Bf ing until 2 really isn't the norm. Maybe on mums net but bf rates are really low in rl.

It is also your body and you don't have to apologise for wanting it back.

Personally I think if you have managed to get any bf ing to meet with weaning (at an appropriate age!) y have done brilliantly.

Verbena37 · 28/01/2015 20:17

Whichever decision you make, will be the right one. Don't let others persuade you or try to change your mind etc. do what is in your heart and you can't go wrong. Your baby will be fine.

Mmmbacon · 28/01/2015 20:28

Yanbu, my only breastfeeding rule was that I made my own rules and if I wanted to break one of my rules I could do what I wanted,

Drop s feed a week is easiest on mum, and gives you a chance to reassess after each dropped feed how you feel and if you want to drop another, which one or if you want to keep going,

I always think first and Last feeds should be Last to be dropped but that could be cause I loved those feeds ad away to say goodbye before heading to work and cuddles before bed

Do what works for you,

HootyMcTooty · 28/01/2015 21:01

YANBU! Do what you want. It's your body and your baby. There's no point making yourself miserable.

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