Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be fed up with comments at work....

31 replies

ghostspirit · 30/12/2014 16:09

There is a woman at work who i feels constantly picks at me always making stupid comments. always nudging other worker to take the pee. this went on for a while when i was new.. i said something to one of the other workers. asked her not to say anything. but she did. not a bad thing as it stopped and was no come back on me. so stopped for a while and now got a feeling its starting up again... oh ghost your always wondering making it look like your working, always having a little wonder... then im waiting for the chef to remove the left over food from serving counter... work in school kitchen..its like a 2/3 min wait... i then get from the same woman oh ghost you dont just have to stand there you know. you can find other stuff to do you know.... comments like this everyday its driving me nuts...

before we broke up for xmas. one of the other workers asked the same woman to help her put some stuff away. she said no she needed to do her own work.... ask ghost but the tone was in a piss take tone. and i was scrubbing the oven.

i feel like saying i choose not to eat like you do. but its ok for you to stand and take nibbles from your food for 2 mins here and there... but i cant just take 2 mins whilst i wait for the food to be moved... yep i wonder round the kitchen doing nothing, not that i go to get stuff i need. also feel like telling her that im 23 weeks pregnant and if i really wanted i could ask for breaks if i feel i need them.

any ideas how i could tackle it?

OP posts:
LokiBear · 30/12/2014 16:15

You need to be direct. Try saying 'thanks for your input, but ive actually been doing this a while now and I know what im doing. So, how about you just let me get on with my job?' Then smile and walk away.

VitalStollenFix · 30/12/2014 16:18

Talk to your manager and tell them to sort her out or tell her directly that you do not appreciate her comments and to stop it.

Vycount · 30/12/2014 16:21

I'd talk to your manager and ask for a copy of the company policy on bullying in the workplace. That should sort it, especially if you're employed by the school rather than a catering agency.

Original poster
ghostspirit · 30/12/2014 16:21

i did not know if it was a bit petty to take to the manager :/ maybe not

OP posts:
Quitethewoodsman · 30/12/2014 16:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty · 30/12/2014 16:21

You need to speak to the manager.

If you're doing everything within your job description, then this woman should be told to back off.

I'm not sure what the last bit would achieve though, as you either need breaks due to being pregnant or you don't.

If you do, then obviously you should ask for them.

Original poster
ghostspirit · 30/12/2014 16:22

employed by catering company but they still have the policy on bullying there is a big poster thingy in the staff/changing room

OP posts:
Nomama · 30/12/2014 16:23

"Excuse me? Are you trying to manage my time? I think not!"

Go talk to HR, get your feelings documented, let your Line Manager know that you have done so - point out that you are most annoyed at the insinuation that you are not working properly/hard enough and that you are concerned that such an often repeated idea may stick. You are not prepared to have him, or anyone else, think you are lazy based on this woman's 'witticisms'.

You should then get reassurances that they do not think any such thing etc, get them to confirm in writing. What they do/say to her is none of your business, just concentrate on you.

Having a couple of stock phrases will allow you to respond quickly, concisely and without tears/fear/emotion. Maybe we could come up with some truly PA ones for you to savour Smile

Original poster
ghostspirit · 30/12/2014 16:28

my manager seems quite ok. im quite sure if she had a problem with me she would say so. so im sure what the other worker says, is just pointless crap. but it still pisses me off. only does it to me as well...

OP posts:
Original poster
ghostspirit · 30/12/2014 16:32

oh forgot to say... im not sure if she's doing it to see how far she can push me. i dont ague or confront anyone in anyway shape or form. when there is an agument at work. i leave the room/area because i really dont care. just let me know the out come and how its been fixed and i will go alone with that outcome. because i really cant be arsed... im on my own with my kids go for for a break.... so cause i dont get involved with crap i wonder if shes trying to see how far i can be pushed :/

OP posts:
Quitethewoodsman · 30/12/2014 16:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nomama · 30/12/2014 16:37

Sorry, ghost, it doesn't matter what your manager thinks, you just want to get your thoughts on record with them.

They'll probably laugh and say that she is well known for it or something... somehow people do get away with such behaviour. But you need your thoughts, your fears/irritations to be known, that is what managers are for!

I balance a similar 'personality clash' at work. I just want to shout at the pissy mare, but can't as she isn't really overstepping the mark too much. I have spoken to her, recorded the conversation with HR and will continue to monitor. The other woman has been reassured, I have listened to her, will not ignore her feelings or contributions.

Go and bother your manager!

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 30/12/2014 16:39

I agree with Nomama you need some comebacks when she starts wittering at you.

Or you could get her on her own and tell her she needs to stop chatting her shit because it's getting boring and that you've noticed it's only you she says it too. She won't be expecting that.

Or get her on her own and crack her one.

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 30/12/2014 16:59

Ghost I am the same as you. I'm not confrontational unless I am provoked and pushed too far. I've worked with many a tossrag like you've described and they often no more than just a gob on legs. They are also the laziest person in the team.

Deffo speak to your manager. You can either ignore the silly bint. (I've done this in the past, never looked or engaged in conversation and it's worked) or you could let her know with a tone that she's beginning to go too far and you'll not put up with it.

Original poster
ghostspirit · 30/12/2014 17:20

thansk mrsitnow... part from when i told the other worker after a few months of me being there. im not even sure if she knows it bothers me as i just dont respond to her.... sometimes i think that she thinks im thick and i just dont get it... but its just i cant be arsed to respond

OP posts:
MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 30/12/2014 17:37

I hear you. It's pathetic isn't it. These sorts of Assholes are very wearing. I've ignored and ignored because I refuse to let them think they've got to me. But as I get older I find I'm a lot less tolerant of other peoples shit.

Original poster
ghostspirit · 30/12/2014 17:43

haha i will probably snap at some point and scare myself... Grin

OP posts:
stouty · 30/12/2014 17:44

Go sick for 9 months. ??

Original poster
ghostspirit · 30/12/2014 17:45

i recon i might get the sack if i do that

OP posts:
afreshstartplease · 30/12/2014 17:47

Is it not against health and safety / hygiene rules not to eat while preparing food?

Original poster
ghostspirit · 30/12/2014 17:49

no this is after service when kitchen is being clean food thrown away. not prepard

OP posts:
Optimistletoe1 · 30/12/2014 17:50

I reckon because you don't involve yourself in workplace politics and differences of opinion she can't "read" you at all, and feels threatened. This snipey behaviour of hers is the only way she can react. If she won't respond to a straightforward "Do give it a rest, Gloria (or whatever her name is)" then I agree you should mention it to your manager.

Original poster
ghostspirit · 30/12/2014 17:53

i did wonder that optimistle.. but not sure if i was over thinking. why would she need to read me :/

OP posts:
Optimistletoe1 · 30/12/2014 18:26

Perhaps she's never met someone who doesn't get involved in the gossip and drama of the workplace before, and doesn't know what to make of you. Has she worked there for a long time? Does she cut corners/skive off?

Original poster
ghostspirit · 30/12/2014 18:43

i think she has been there many years.. dont know how long though. i been there a year in jan. to be honest i dont really watch her so not sure if she skives/cuts corners. she sometimes likes to crack the whip come on quick quick hurry up they need the hall. then carrys on rather slowly. also i dont know if its sarcasm because im not allowed to lift the tables anymore. not allowed to lift/pull heavy trolleys. dont know if there is a link with that or not.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread