To be annoyed that my Mum keeps talking about Me & DP using condoms?

[MinnieM1]

Just that really, she keeps making comments about us using condoms or 'putting a sock on it' whenever she leaves the house these are her parting words to us, I got vair vair drunk last night and she text me this morning asking if we'd used a condom, she bought DP condoms as part of his Christmas present and found it hilarious
Now we're quite an open family but honestly it's getting weird, I generally do the "mum you're not allowed to talk about sex" and laugh it off but the text this morning just was odd
I lost a baby in September so I can't help but feel hurt that she's being oddly keen for me to not get pregnant again, like she doesn't like my kids and wouldn't have loved that baby (dramatic I know) but really why else would she do this?
What do I do? If anything?

Hmm, sit her down and have a serious conversation with her. Ask her why she is making these comments, ask her to stop and tell her that you find them offensive/inappropriate.

Are you 17?! There is NO reason why your mum should be involved on your sex life in this way, it's weird and intrusive. I bet you don't make comments about her sex life! I would drop the smile from your face and tell her, next time, 'mum, just drop it now, it's weird and makes me feel uncomfortable.'

How old are you?

Stop having your mum so involved in your life.

I often have difficulty asserting myself but in this case I would have no problem at all in telling her to mind her own fucking business

Minty you have no idea how involved in my life she is? I haven't mentioned how often I see her or speak to her and I have already said that I find these comments odd, obviously implying they're not a normal/regular type of conversation for us
What a strange thing to say

Turn it round and start asking her what she's using etc. Might bring it home to her how out of order she is.

Are you very young?

I'm 25 DP is 29, we've been together 8 years have 2 kids, jobs, mortgage etc so we're not particularly old but it's not like we're silly teenagers either

Maybe she is worried that you couldn't cope with another pregnancy/ shouldn't have another child? I would probably ask her what's behind the questioning. Or tell her to mind her own business.

Gabriola I might try your suggestion, I don't think I could sit down and have a serious conversation about it tbh

Talk about overstepping the boundaries!

Stop joking about it when you answer and tell her to stop mentioning it.

I don't think it's a good idea to turn it round and start asking her about what she uses, it'd be giving mixed messages.

Whatever's behind her going on, it's totally inappropriate and none of her fucking business.

"OK Mum, enough of this now. I'm starting to be really offended by you keeping on about this, so let's not fall out over it - please stop".

Christ she is being weird. Understandable if you are 16, not as an adult.

She needs a short, sharp shock. Tell her to fuck off, and that what comes out of your fanny is none of her business.

Yeah, that's weird. I'd talk to a teenage child about condoms, but not an adult who already has kids. The Freudian in me thinks she's probably envious of your sex life - or at least, what she imagines your sex life to be. I agree that you should tell her to back off - you're old enough to be fully responsible for your sexuality and contraception, without her help or intervention.

I think she sees how much losing the baby in September hurt you and wants to protects you from further hurt!

This is still not appropriate but sometimes seeing the good intentions behind things people do and say makes them easier to deal with! I am not saying you should allow it to continue but knowing this may make it easier to talk to her firmly but nicely and get her to stop!

Good luck OP!

I lost a baby in September so I can't help but feel hurt that she's being oddly keen for me to not get pregnant again

This is your answer. Sit her down for a chat when you're own your own and both in a gentle mood, and ask her to tell you how she feels about it. It's your life and your body, absolutely - but it can be almost unbearable to see your child suffer. She's going about it all wrong, but she's just afraid for you.

That's bloody rude! I wouldn't quite tell her to fuck off, because I don't talk to my parents like that, but I'd blank her every time she said anything about it.

How terribly rude. Match her rudeness by telling her you don't need condoms as you only do bumsex. That should shut her up

at Armani

Armani I nearly choked on my tea!
Actually thinking about what you've all said I think it probably is that she doesn't want to see me in the state I was in this summer, I had HG with the pregnancy was in hospital 4 times with it, then lost the baby at 11 weeks and had to have an operation to remove it. It was the worst few months of my life and yes she was there for a lot of it
I never really even thought about how traumatic it must have been for her But yeah it really must have been
This makes me much less annoyed and weirded out by her behaviour thanks guys, I think I'll just make it clear that we are in no rush and I absolutely couldn't face another pregnancy yet myself so she needn't worry, hopefully she'll stop then
...although Armani's idea is very tempting