Aibu to be really annoyed.

[BeanAndAHalf]

I've been married for two years and it's been hectic. We've already a Dd in school and another who is 6months. Throughout my pregnancy my Dh wasn't around much, due to work. This lasted up until around 4 weeks ago. For the past 4 weeks we've been trying to spend some quality time together to reconnect. But almost every single night he falls asleep around 7:30. Sometimes it's in front of the TV, sometimes it's mid-conversation.

I get really annoyed at him. I get tiredness, I have M.E. But I also have the ability to stay awake no matter how tired I am! I'm so upset as I don't feel he's making an effort but at the same time I know how hard he works.

Aibu to feel so annoyed?

Is he poorly? If that's happening regularly I'd be a bit concerned before being annoyed!

Yabu. He sounds exhausted. Having ME you should no more than most sometimes tiredness can be so overwhelming.
Also if it's happening a lot he should go to the GP.

I did think that and of course I'm concerned for him. And I asked him to go to the doctors as he's also recently been suffering with indigestion. But he won't go. He insists there's nothing wrong, he's just tired. I don't know what else to do.

I think your annoyance is due to projection of your ability to stay awake and interpretation of his feelings. I wouldn't be able to stay awake if I was really tired. In would be no reflection of my feelings for the person I'm with. Perhaps you could work on the assumption he'll be falling asleep at that time, do something lovely together through the day to feel like you're connecting and be aware of his physical cues to show he's getting tired then show you care by suggesting he goes to bed or even snuggle down together.

I guess part of it is that I'm bitter. Which I know is very unreasonable.

As I said we've two Dds who I do everything except bath time for (including the night feed for youngest dd), I work pt, we've no local family to help and I've had ME for past 2.5 years. He does work hard (runs a large IT department for a big company) and is out the house 7-5:30 six days a week. So once the children are in bed we only get the evening together.

Oh I take narcolepsy medication to help my exhaustion and it really helps. Sounds like your OH could do with some help

I don't think he can help falling asleep, it's not something you can just do on purpose if you're not tired! I know that feeling of utter exhaustion when you are so knackered that you can easily just pass out where you are sat! He is clearly working hard so maybe cut him some slack.

My husband does this quite often and works 70 hours average per week. It is annoying sometimes but I am used to it by now. I am used to being on my own and catching up on the housework. If he is not sleeping he is either on the phone to his father or brothers or on Facebook. He is forty now and I think this has been happening in the last two years only!

It sounds like he is exhausted. It's not a competition of who is the most tired - it's about working together.