To always feel lonely on Boxing Day

[JaceLancs]

We had a better than usual Christmas Day as in no tears or traumas!
My children (early 20s) always celebrate with their Dad on Boxing Day.
DP who doesn't live with me, always spends the day with his only friend who would otherwise be alone - I respect this, as its important to them as well as a long standing tradition
My parents choose to spend both Christmas Day and Boxing Day with my brother and his family despite me inviting them to mine (I suspect it's because he is more affluent than me also male and eldest)
I try not to be hurt by this - and have been invited to join them tonight for supper
Not sure if I will go though as still feel odd one out, have to drive there (quite a way) can't have a drink and will have to leave early ish)
Decided not to sit at home and brood - thankfully coffee shops are open locally so am sat watching the world go by - may even go for a brisk walk along the coast later if the rain keeps off
Still feel desperately lonely today though

Develop your own Boxing Day ritual - when my kids were small we used to walk up Box Hill on Boxing Day & take a picnic of leftovers. So work out something you like & make it yours. It works - you'll feel much better.

Have you got a good book to get lost in? I find that often helps. And some yummy food!

At least it's not Christmas Day itself....and you have a nice DP, who you'll see again soon.

What a shame you feel lonely. I would spoil yourself all day. Nice food, find a film you'd like to watch, soak in a bath, light some scented candles, enjoy some peace. Lots of people will be alone today (my children are also with their dad today), but if you can try to see it as a time just for you.

Start your own tradition

I would buy my favourite food and drink , a new book and snuggle up for the day after I'd been for a lovely walk

I'd try and make it into a day I really looked forward to

dont think your brother and parents are being very nice, why should him being affluent make any difference? do they know you feel left out? and your dp, why is dp happy leaving you alone all day, cant his friend just come over to yours and do a buffet day?

dont blame you for feeling lonely, op

I ended up going to a local antiques fair - then a walk along the seafront until rain made me retreat into the shopping area of the town
Treated myself to some reduced marzipan fruits and a new pair of shoes
I am going over to see my parents at my brothers house tonight as just had a message that my Dad had a fall last night after we'd left
I think the affluence means they find his house more comfortable, warmer, fancy food etc ssd - I have tried to explain that I feel left out in the past and how not being part of a married couple or living with someone can be lonely - however as its something none of them have ever experienced they just don't get it
I don't have a problem with DP today - I will probably see him late tonight as i sent him a message explainand

Sent too soon!
......explaining and how fed up I was
I don't have anything in common with his friend and we don't get on so I wouldn't spoil or intrude on their day

I used to dread the part between Xmas day & NYE, because work was closed and I got desperately lonely. So I started volunteering at Crisis, and it was amazing. I'm no longer on my own but I still volunteer at Crisis - it makes Christmas for me.

So maybe look into volunteering next year, if it's your sort of thing? It's so worth it - I have those feel-good feelings for the whole of the next year.

I suppose its easy for me to say but I'd love a tiny bit of solitude over the festive period.

I understand when it is enforced its probably not very nice but as others say use it as an opportunity to treat yourself and make it an occasion you look forward to.

I'd get in some yummy food, get a few good films on the go, some trashy magazines and a bottle of Prosecco. Bliss!

I understand about how they dont get your feelings at all, my siblings are like this...it hurts.

If I didn't work full time for a charity all year round - I would probably Fo something similar coffeeslave - it's lovely to hear about what you do though and am sure it's much appreciated

Sorry about typos - flipping phone!

I've been alone for boxing day. I've loved it.

Ate chocolate for breakfast, went for a jog, watched some telly, went for a walk on the moors, ate cheesecake for tea. Now watching more telly. Very lazy, indulgent and peaceful.

hope you feel better soon derek