...to get a young kid into trouble?

[XmasEveDallas]

More of a WWYD.

I suspect that one of DDs 'friends' (they aren't really) has given DD something that she has actually pinched.

It's nothing big or valuable. It's a bizarre 'present' to give, and I think it's more about trying to buy DDs friendship. She has form for this and I've previously told her to stop.

I'm wavering between just chucking it in the bin or letting the girls parents know what's going on. I think I'd want to know if my DD was stealing, but maybe not this close to Christmas.

Both girls are 9 and my DD isn't the only one to receive 'gifts' from this girl.

Are you sure she pinched it? How do you know? I know that your intentions are good, and you say that you would want to know if it was your daughter, but think carefully - she's not your DD's close friend, so maybe it's not your place to get involved.

Maybe you could tell the parents that you are a bit worried how much money she is spending on your dd and maybe they could have a word with her? Whether she is stealing or they are giving her money to spend them talking to her about it might put a stop to it

Just curious as to why you think it's been pinched?
From a shop, or from another child or her parents?

If the former, then this needs to be addressed with her parents providing you're sure.

Because I've seen the item before, know what it is and that its not for sale. There is an outside chance that girl was given it, and is giving it away to DD. But tbh that is more hope on my part. I cannot imagine why she would be given this.

She isn't the nicest child. She can be bullying and spiteful, which is why DD has pulled away from her (DD learned the word 'Frenemy' and used it to describe this girl - I think it's very apt). The 'buying friendship' is the result.

Sorry, that message was in reply to snoopy.

Take it round to the parents and return it. Just say your dd doesn't need it and their dd shouldn't be wasting her money buying presents
They can them deal with it

Have you thought about speaking with the child directly to find out what's going on? Rather than tell her on her. So you're letting her know that you know!

It wasn't from a shop or someone else. Believe it or not it's from a church! (Not a bible I hasten to add).

I barely know the parents, mum just a little bit from the school run, dad I've only met once. It will be an awkward conversation no matter what, which is why I'm just tempted to ignore it.

I'd leave it until after Christmas and then phrase it tactfully!

'I was surprised X gave DD this, I thought they weren't for sale.'

I'd have a quiet word. DD's been a victim of this sort of child.

I suppose what I could do is play completely dumb, take it round to the house and be a bit 'baffled'... "DD got this from X, there's obviously been a mix-up, kids eh? Merry Christmas!

What is the item?

This reminds me of a girl I taught who stole £10 from school. She told her friends it was from an aunt and spent the whole lot on them just to know what it was like to be able to be generous. It was very sad. The school handled it well though. I wouldn't embarrass the girl, incase it's something like that, I would return it to the church if you are absolutely sure of your facts.

The item is a decoration from a display inside the church. A bizarre 'gift' even if not stolen. It would be hard to return it, I'm not a church goer at all. Are churches open all day? Could I sneak in?

The generous thing doesn't fit with what I have seen of this girl sadly.

I'm leaning towards playing dumb tbh.

If it was my DD I would definitely want to know.