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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is fucking inconsiderate?

20 replies

Shamazeballs · 19/12/2014 18:15

DP invited DN to sleep tonight. All well and good except DP has to drive 100 miles to get DSD and won't be back until 10pm. I asked how DN was getting here and DP said he would pick him up on way home. Bit late but it's school holidays so didn't think much of it.

I've been telling DCs all week that tonight we're watching Elf and making paper chains. They're happy with this (4&5 y/o). Get home, cook kids dinner and am just washing up when MIL turns up with DN. DP gets home from work says it's too long a journey for DN so he can stay here and play xbox with DS.

DP and MIL swan off to get DSD whilst I'm left with an extra child who apparently hasn't had dinner and is now on the xbox having said he doesn't like Elf so now DS is saying he doesn't either.

I'm fucked off.

OP posts:
badfurday · 19/12/2014 18:18

Not really the end of the world is it? Give her some food and try and get her in the Xmas mood! Stick elf on anyway!

DandyHighwayman · 19/12/2014 18:18

Turn off the x box!!

Put on Elf

sigh inwardly

FunkyBoldRibena · 19/12/2014 18:18

DN...is now on the xbox having said he doesn't like Elf so now DS is saying he doesn't either.

Turn the xbox off and say 'tough, we are watching Elf'.

seanbonbon · 19/12/2014 18:18

I don't blame youConfused
All well and good for your DP to offer a sleepover but you're the one doing the work!
Can you get out by yourself tomorrow? I'd be gone like a shot.

Nervo · 19/12/2014 18:20

Watch Elf. You are in charge.

Original poster
Shamazeballs · 19/12/2014 18:20

Then I feel bad as DP promised them they could play. Also I don't usually tell them that DSD is coming that night and now they know.

No it's not the end of the world but it fucks me off that DP just assumed this was ok. I also have no dinner things in as we're not here over the weekend so DN can have sandwiches and he can lump it.

OP posts:
Bowlersarm · 19/12/2014 18:22

Poor DN! I hope you are making him feel more welcome than you sound on here. Does one extra child matter in the greater scheme of things?

Original poster
Shamazeballs · 19/12/2014 18:25

Yes I'm making him feel welcome. It's not that he's unwelcome just that he was expected several hours later having given me a chance to settle the 3 DCs to bed and unwind a little from work.

I haven't put him in a cupboard or refused to speak to him Grin

OP posts:
Changeitplease · 19/12/2014 18:30

Just out of curiosity why don't you tell kids that DSD is coming that night generally?

arethereanyleftatall · 19/12/2014 18:32

This isn't worth fussing over tbh. It's certainly better for him to stay with you, than drive from A to A for 100 miles pointlessly. Yabu.

seanbonbon · 19/12/2014 18:43

I think people are being harsh tbh. You're not being mean to your nephew or making him feel uncomfortable.
But your DP offered to take him for a sleepover knowing it'll be you who actually has him!
And it's not as if the only other option would be to spend hours in the car, if your DP hadn't offered the sleepover he'd be at home presumably?
This would annoy me too and I would seethe inwardly without giving the poor child any indication. YANBU

Birdsgottafly · 19/12/2014 18:44

I agree with you sticking with your plans to watch Elf.

Long term, though, time spent with cousins is more important than watching the odd Christmas film.

Original poster
Shamazeballs · 19/12/2014 18:46

Because they're 4&5 and if I say it's a DSD night they don't sleep until she's here (around 9/10) and are horrible and ratty all the next day.

It's not the situation so much that's annoyed me. More the assumption that I'm ok with it. Had DP asked I would've said yes but he didn't. He gave me 60 seconds warning it was happening.

OP posts:
Original poster
Shamazeballs · 19/12/2014 18:47

They're all now in their pjs watching Home Alone with a party buffet tea. So far they've only woken baby DS up twice which is better than expected Grin

OP posts:
SanityClause · 19/12/2014 18:49

What's the big deal with being a bit flexible?

SanityClause · 19/12/2014 18:50

Sorry, xposted.

Sounds like it's turned out fine.

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 19/12/2014 18:52

Are they arguing and fighting or behaving? If they're behaving then put your feet up and count down the minutes until they're all in bed!

Bath time soon then they can all get tucked up, DN can read.

DP can bring you breakfast in bed!

Onlyonamonday · 19/12/2014 18:52

If their all happy then I wouldn't argue ... I love the dc all being together just doing their own thing with their cousins etc

I would retreat into the kitchen and drink wine Wine

You can have your special evening another time Xmas Wink

Quitelikely · 19/12/2014 18:56

I'm confused as to what time you thought dn was coming. Ten o clock with dsd?

Original poster
Shamazeballs · 19/12/2014 19:03

Yes 10pm. Which I commented to DP about as it was late but him and SIL weren't fussed and as he was organising this I left him to it.

Home alone is off. DN says it's too boring, DS says it's too scary. I just wanted my one night with just my DCs before Xmas. DSD is lovely but DP goes all disney dad and makes it a nightmare if I even ask her to tidy up.
Yes my problem is possibly DP. However as this is his first christmas since his dad died I'm ranting here instead of at him.
No in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter but I've had a shitty week (crap essay score, TAF meeting about my key child at work so now worrying about her over Xmas) and I just wanted to chill.

Plus side- I got vodka in the secret Santa Grin

OP posts:
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