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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Italian mother in law

31 replies

shipsinthenight · 17/12/2014 18:58

Sooooo,

My italian mother in law is complaining that I do not write in italian when I post an update on facebook... I do not feel as this is unreasonable but it is now causing friction with my husband and I.

We lived in Italy for the last 4 years and have 2 DCs. We moved back to the UK because my MIL was stereotypical in the extreme and often turned up shuoting the odds. My husband works away most of the time and I did not need that additional stress from her whilst alone. I learnt italian while there but on a speaking level, no formal schooling and no writing. I don't feel confident writing in italian and do not see why I should write bi-lingual posts. If it is a photo of the kids they can see that anyway.

Should I give in and write something in italian or just block her from my posts?!?

OP posts:
ihatethecold · 17/12/2014 18:59

No don't give in.
How rude of her to dictate how you use social media.

TellmetogetonwithmyWork · 17/12/2014 19:02

Direct her to babel fish

NeverFreezeLobsters · 17/12/2014 19:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MonstrousRatbag · 17/12/2014 19:10

If your husband is that bothered he should join Facebook himself and update his mother. Why is it your responsibility to communicate with his mother? And if he doesn't care enough to do it, why should you?

Hoggle246 · 17/12/2014 19:12

She sounds crackers! No, you should use your fb however you want. She's lucky she's even added (my MIL is not...)

HamPortCourt · 17/12/2014 19:17

Block her!

Agree it shouldn't be your problem and if DH kicks up tell him to set up his own FB acct and write in Italian on it.

UncrushedParsley · 17/12/2014 19:20

When I got foreign language stuff on my FB feed (I have friends abroad) it always comes up with a Bing clicky link to translate. Not hard, surely?!

Andrewofgg · 17/12/2014 20:23

Can anyone give OP the Italian for ODFOD to post on her page?

KingJoffreysHasABigWhiteBeard · 17/12/2014 20:31

Block her.

Life's too short.

I have friends who sometimes write in forrin. There's a clicky thing under it so you can see the translation.

Original poster
shipsinthenight · 17/12/2014 21:20

I said there was a thing to click to translate. Thanks all. I thought I was being daft but it annoys the hell out of me.

I have tried with the language and think they should too...

OP posts:
anothernumberone · 17/12/2014 21:33

When my friends write in other languages if I am on my laptop it offers an option to translate. Maybe see if she can get that too.

anothernumberone · 17/12/2014 21:34

Sorry I am a dumb ass I should have read your last post yes sibu not you.

ddubsgirl77 · 17/12/2014 21:44

App on my phone updated and can now translate! Dont even need a pc

Flippityflip · 17/12/2014 21:51

Andrewofgg 'Ma vaffanculo'
Not sure it's one to say to the MIL though!!
You could just post totally random phrases that make no sense and then she might be glad when you go back to posting in English?

AuditAngel · 17/12/2014 21:57

My MIL is also Italian. My FIL was Spanish. I have learnt Spanish as DH is fluent and most of his friends from home don't speak English. My MIL keeps posting in Italian on my fb. I have requested that she sticks to English or Spanish.

My Italian is at the ordering food/drink level. At least I can't be told off for ignoring her as I don't speak the language!

SquinkiesRule · 17/12/2014 22:47

Tell her to hit the translate button below what you write. It appears on all post not in English on my FB and anything not in Spanish on my cousins FB. Silly woman thinking you write your posts in Italian.

Buttercupsanddaisys · 18/12/2014 07:09

Second the vafanculoXmas Grin

The Italian mil of my English friend in Italy told her son that my friend was neglecting him since she met me and was neglecting her wifely duties. She'd checked their laundry and his socks weren't ironed with a crease down the front Like she did.

Xmas Grin
Drinkstoomuchcoffee · 18/12/2014 07:17

Set up a second account in Italian. Post a couple of photos there and then never update it again.

TooMuchRain · 18/12/2014 07:22

YANBU to write in whatever language you like but I don't actually get the problem - facebook is pretty short informal comments and after four years living in Italy I don't see how that can be an issue

SanityClause · 18/12/2014 07:23

Get your DH to translate for her. So, you post something, and he comments underneath in Italian, for the sake of the Italian family and friends. He can obviously easily do this remotely, so it's no problem if he is working away.

AlwaysDancing1234 · 18/12/2014 07:27

Really your DH should have a FB page and put stuff on there for her.

If not, I think block her from your normal page, set up another profile and just put a few photos on with Italian captions for your MIL and any other Italian speaking family.

redexpat · 18/12/2014 08:52

I dare you to write in italian fuck off mil Grin

GwenaelleLaGourmande · 18/12/2014 08:57

sanityClause has the easiest solution which should keep everyone happy. Your DH can comment and translate. Shifts the responsibility for keeping his mum happy onto him.

chipshop · 18/12/2014 12:49

My DSis has an Italian MIL, poor you. Sadly she hasn't managed to escape and still lives down the road from mamma. Grin

Original poster
shipsinthenight · 18/12/2014 18:48

Buttercup Xmas Grin this sounds very familiar.
i am choosing to just ignore her... At least for now.

OP posts: