I know I am but wwyd?

[youbethemummylion]

I already know AIBU but dont know what else to do. Today DS2 in Reception has bought home his PE kit (they bring it home every half term) I got it out to wash his T Shirt has someone else's name in. So what I should do is take it back to school tomorrow to be reunited with its correct owner. However since starting I have returned a pair of trousers, 2 polo shirts, a jumper and a pair of trainers with other peoples name in, on each occasion I have waited for DS's item to be returned (everything is clearly labelled in several places) nothing has been returned. So I am now down lots of uniform and have had to replace the trainers. If I take this PE top back that is another item I will have to replace. So my plan was not say anything, if a msg is put out the child is missing a top I will obviously return but if not then I can only assume said child has my childs top and they have in a sense 'swapped' tops. That's really wrong isn't it?!

sorry- if it has a name in it you have to return it and you know it!

Yes it is wrong I'm afraid, although I understand the urge completely.

Of course sods law means that you will have a top belonging to another parent who returns stuff like you do , while the can't be arsed parent probably has loads of kit floating around because their kid picks up anything and they never return it.

Bloody annoying.

I know, I just wish others would do the same for me!

You could contact the other mum and arrange to swap?

'Fraid not, if it's named you have to return BUT YANBU to be mightily cheesed off that you never get yours back. It's happened to us a few times, but probably pointless talking to teacher.

Contact the other mum directly and ask her to check her kid's top? It was probably a straight swap, and while she might not make the effort to send it back if nothing's said, she's much less likely to brazen it out if you've specifically asked her (not least because of the chance she'd be outed if she said "oh no we don't have it" and then the teacher checks labels).

completely off topic but how strange it doesn't get washed regularly... what age does that go on till?

I have no idea who the mum is or I would, I might wait until after Christmas then give it back to the teacher asking them to ask the child's mum to check which top the child has. If I ask before they break up I will likely not happen as they have very busy days ahead, parties, panto, concerts etc

Until they leave I think certainly DS1 I'm yr 3 still have the same system. I was to begin with but at least its one less thing to forget to take in.

Ask the teacher to give you the other mums details or arrange a swap. You don't have to hand it over without getting yours back, hold it to ransom!!!

Ask the teacher to point out the dc's mum at pick up/drop off. Explain you've got their dc's t shirt and they may have yours. Then arrange to swap via teacher so it doesn't go missing again.

Dc are a nightmare though. My Dd came out the other day saying she was wearing x's bottoms. I made her go back and find the girl and swap them back before we left. Quite why both girls - knowing they were wearing the wrong clothes - didn't just swap straight back I don't know. Even the teacher didn't understand as the other girl had mentioned it as well.

On this occasion you need to give it back otherwise it's kind of stealing.

To avoid this in future, there are a few options:

1. on the day they do PE go into the classroom after school to check your child's bag every week. If someone else's kit inside then check the bags either side of your ds bag. Obv with teacher's permission. I personally don't let my kids' stuff languish in school like this, I check it every time it's used.

2. make your pe white polo unwearable by anyone else by writing your surname in black laundry pen in 2inch high letters on the left breast (assuming surname not hugely long - smith or jones ok!). You could do this less obviously (smaller) on their actual school uniform polo.

3. school jumper - sew a nametape on the outside of the jumper on the back just below the neckline. Any child wearing your ds jumper is easily spotted. If your jumper is a lighter colour, you could laundry pen this to prevent remova by thieving parents. You can also sew on the outside back of the polo.

4. see if you can gather up a few email/mobile numbers and if stuff's lost, send out email - pls check your bags for ds's tshirt or whatever.

5. in general I sew name tapes in but I also laundry pen (from amazon) some items where appropriate in case people feel like removing it. Get white trainers/daps and laundry pen the outside.

6. ask the school to include a paragraph in the newsletter (or whatever communication system you have) asking parents to check uniform is theirs.

7. teach your dc to try and look after own stuff

I also read that you should sew a name tape somewhere that someone is unlikely to check like inside a sleeve.

My sewing machine will sew letters and they are devilish to unpick. My son did swim and often team suits would go missing because if a teen couldn't find theirs they'd swipe someone else's (yes on purpose). I sewed his name inside in two places and in a visible place on the outside. Someone did take it and I told DS to look and sure enough another kid was wearing it. When the coach berated my kid for not having a suit at a meet he pointed to the kid wearing it and said "that is my suit". It came back.

Have you been in to check the lost property box? It is generally full to overflowing. When my children had lost something and couldn't find it I would go and look in it myself and it was generally there. Usually they take it around the classrooms right at the end of term so things might reappear that way.

No advice but some people are just cheeky. When I was at primary school, I came home with the pe top of another child. My mum washed it and was packing it in my bag to return it when she realised that the name label identifying it as other child's had actually been sewn on over the top of my name label. Other child had obviously taken my top home by accident and their mum had decided to just keep it!

I would have a word with the teacher.

They are Reception children who need organising when they are getting changed for PE so this doesn't happen (or only happens rarely).

I think they're just throwing their clothes anywhere when they get changed and then just grab the nearest.

It's not necessary.