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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

... to not want any Christmas presents?

42 replies

CanadianJohn · 16/12/2014 01:05

I don't want any Christmas presents. I've got more ties/sweaters/socks than I'll ever wear, more DVDs than I'll ever watch, more books than I'll ever read.

I'm always on a diet, don't give me anything consumable. I'm trying to de-clutter, don't give me anything for the house.

My children and grandchildren are convinced that Christmas would not be complete unless they spend their hard-earned money on me. I'm really not being a grinch, I just don't want anything.

I'm being unreasonable, aren't I.

OP posts:
brokenhearted55a · 16/12/2014 01:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Amy106 · 16/12/2014 01:36

You are being unreasonable and you are not a grinch either. I feel the same way. Xmas Smile

StupidFlanders · 16/12/2014 01:49

I love christmas and everything about it- except presents for adults!

I agree entirely and if anyone asks what I want I either say nothing or something that I will consume. I don't like stuff and I buy what I want.

Have not done presents with half my family and the other half does a secret Santa and I'm asking for that to end this year too!

Ludoole · 16/12/2014 01:50

Why not tell them you would love a nicely framed photo of them all? Its always nice to have a photo and it doesnt cost much.

musicalendorphins2 · 16/12/2014 02:23

Always on a diet you say? How about they give you the gift of being your walking or work out partner?

AcrossthePond55 · 16/12/2014 02:32

I think what we (who have grown children and grandchildren) want more than anything is their time. I don't need perfume, nightgowns, or books. It's not that we don't see them, but it's usually not 'one on one' time doing something, it's all of us getting together.

musicalendorphins2 · 16/12/2014 02:35

PS. My father-in-law says this every year, and it is frustrating. Think of something, I see you are Canadian, what about a gift card for M&M's meats?

musicalendorphins2 · 16/12/2014 02:36

(I know it is consumable, but mostly healthy food for meals there)

AlpacaMyBags · 16/12/2014 02:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KingJoffreysHasABigWhiteBeard · 16/12/2014 02:56

The trouble is if you say you don't want anything they'll try to get creative.

You'll end up with a parrot or something.

KingJoffreysHasABigWhiteBeard · 16/12/2014 02:57

You get meat flavoured M&Ms in Canada?

Xmas Shock

WTF is going on??

musicalendorphins2 · 16/12/2014 03:07

King, oh yeah, we are all about the beef and beer in Canada! Chocolate covered liver nuggets and chicken lollypops are a favorite of Canadian kids! Xmas Wink
www.mmmeatshops.com/

EatShitDerek · 16/12/2014 03:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thumbnutstwitchingonanopenfire · 16/12/2014 03:19

If it weren't for your moniker, you could be my Dad. He doesn't want presents either.

I mostly get him flower bulbs or plants for his garden now. He does appreciate those (and has a gardener 2h a fortnight who can help him plant them). :)

Original poster
CanadianJohn · 16/12/2014 03:28

Glad to know I am not alone. The children do not live close by, the closest one is about 60 miles away.

Interestingly, the children (in their 40's) are desperate to buy gifts. The grandchildren, in their teens and 20's, regard me as an alien.

OP posts:
Darkandstormynight · 16/12/2014 03:36

Yes YABU. The trouble is if your kids (assuming they are not deadbeats) abide your wishes They feel awful. My MIL complains about everything we give her and says she wants nothing. Yet if we did that I'd never hear the end of it either.

How about sponsoring a child? Tell them you want an outfit and a toy same size and sex as your grandchildren (that will make it easy for them) then give it to charity?

Win win win. You don't have clutter, they are doing something good on your behalf, and you help a child in need.

VashtaNerada · 16/12/2014 04:00

Yes I think you should think of something (even if it's just a charity donation) otherwise you're putting incredible pressure on your DC to think of something original. My DF is like you and I just couldn't bring myself to buy a gift for everyone except him so I'd end up completely stressed over his present each year. He now asks for Kindle vouchers - he could afford them himself but it means we have something to hand over and everyone's happy!

musicalendorphins2 · 16/12/2014 04:26

Yes, you do have to eat, bath, etc., and they will feel really badly if they can't give you something. Accepting their gifts gracefully, is a gift to them too.

sashh · 16/12/2014 06:01

You could ask for something for someone else. Refuge has a gift list, Crisis you can buy a meal for a homeless person, there are British people who will be spending their Christmas fighting ebola in Africa or operating on people in war zones.

Believe me when you have someone it is hard to buy for a suggestion of a charity is welcomed.

community.crisis.org.uk/christmas-appeal-2014

www.msf.org.uk/

www.refuge.org.uk/

Mehitabel6 · 16/12/2014 06:31

I can see your point entirely. I like getting books so my possibilities are endless! However they like getting presents for you. We don't do adult presents but we do parents and would do grandparents if we had any.
You could go down the Oxfam type route.

crazykat · 16/12/2014 06:49

Yanbu to not want gifts. From your children's point of view, it's very hard not to get someone a present when you buy for everyone else, especially if that person gets you gifts iyswim.

We have a couple of older relatives who tell us not to get them.anything but they always get us and our dcs presents. We get something they can use like fancy biscuits so at least they have something.

Didiusfalco · 16/12/2014 06:58

They will want to buy you something - giving is important to a lot of prople not just receiving. My dad who is in his 70s puts together a list of books that are easily purchasable from wordery/the hive because he doesnt want his grown up daughters traipsing round town in winter dragging small children with them trying to work out what the heck he actually wants. I take your point about not needing things but its not all about you.

bigbluestars · 16/12/2014 07:01

I can understand you feel like that but I don't think it is great for the kids. It doesn't teach them much about giving and how to greatfully recieve. I don't like recieving gifts much either, but my family know that I love very practical gifts- and stuff that I actually need.

I am sure there must be something you could at least raise a smile for- a basket of exotic fruit, a box of oriental tea, a recipe book for healthy food, a walking map of your local area, a goat sent from a charity to a family in poverty.

YABU, yes.

KiaOraOAotearoa · 16/12/2014 07:01

Oh, don't be such a spoilsport OP!
Point them in the direction of a couple of books, a theatre ticket, a family event you can all attend?

AllSorted · 16/12/2014 07:03

I find the grown ups don't need presents attitude v annoying. Although possibly not relevant to you if the children / grandchildren are all grown up. However, I think it is very important for children to understand about the pleasure of giving as well as receiving - and that Christmas is not all about them. How will they, if only they get presents?