I don't think I'll ever have a life back again

[Allisgood1]

Dc3 (3mo) has suddenly decided he won't take a bottle. Instead he chews the nipple. Have switched from dr. Browns to tommee tippee with no difference, still just chewing the nipple then getting upset. I feel trapped! I have to go in for a full day middle of Jan and feel so anxious about it.
I'm never going to be able to leave my house for longer than three hours again am I?

Are you giving him the bottles? Mine refused from me but happily takes them with DH or grandparents. Quite usual apparently as they know that you've got the good stuff just behind that bottle!

DH has tried and I've tried. He "chewed" out 3.5oz sat night while I was out for two whole hours over a period of time then went to sleep. But DH was stressed.

Mine were both bottle refusers. The span of how long they go between feeds increases. At 10m, they chose to go without all day at nursery, rather than accept bottles of expressed. Out of sight, out of mind. They were happy to go longer than usual in my absence, and I managed most things I wanted to do around those parameters. At 12m DS2 managed 4 days in my absence, then got back to business straight away on my return.

I tried a big bottle battle on DS1 and lost. He spent the day screaming, and I got increasingly upset and engorged. I vowed not to try that again as it wasn't worth the upset, and with DS2 we happily managed around his feeds. My main purpose for using a pump is my own comfort.

Mrsmook, did you leave them before 10 months? I have to go back in a month when he's 4 months!!

Dh trying now and all I hear is screaming. I am for the first time in my life regretting breast feeding.

Try a doidy cup. It's a basic open cup with tilted side so you can see the milk as you tip. At this age you tip milk so it's near mouth and they lap it up like kittens! Don't actually pour it in though as they need to control how much

Both mine used this from 8 weeks. Dh would just add 1/2oz at a time and add more if needed. By 4 months they would help tip and half lap/ half gulp. By 6 months they would basically use it themselves with both milk and water as they wanted, with a little assistance to prevent spillage!

Artandco, when did you do this? In terms of hunger? Before they were crying and just about due a feed?

I went through this all with DC1 and my advice would be to try not to get stressed about it.

I cried buckets trying to get my baby to take a bottle before I went back to work at 5mo.

She refused, point-blank. We tried everything. I was so so worried.

But...she adapted. She took a big breastfeed in the morning, begrudgingly learned to take a few small sips during the day in childcare, then latched on for a big feed when we were reunited at the end of the day, often in the car park.

We survived to tell the tale and one day I may even be able to laugh about it.

But honestly, the whole thing almost tipped me into PND. Please don't make the same mistake as me. Your baby will not starve. You will get through this.

((((Hugs))))

Tanks Christmas. Am trying to remain zen. Dh just came in for more milk. Apparently distraction is working at the mo..,

*thanks

Have you had them checked for lip tie? My dd always refused a bottle and at 9 months I discovered she had a lip tie. I think there may be a link.

At 4 months though, I did find she would drink from a sippy cup (I didn't know about doidy cups / cup feeding at the time).

With DD1 we went straight to the avent soft spout cups at 4 months, with expressed milk. With DD2, we used a different bottle system, with bags, that was supposed to mimic breast feeding better, I can't find it, but it looks like kiinde do something similar - here

They both just fed A Lot when I was there, and just a bit when I was at work.

Allis- I think dh just offered milk this way every hour or so. When he bf at 4 months was every 2 hours in day between 8am-11pm, then nothing in night. So he just offered regularly before he was actually hungry I suppose.

It's only a tempory thing anyway as by 6 months your dh can feed actual food during the time you are gone, and you can just feed more before you leave/ on return

I would feed twice in morning before I left so ds's had a goo long feed then also.

Could your dh meet you for lunch at your work those first few weeks so you can give a long feed then also?

DS did this right up until my first day back at work. He refused a bottle all that day too before cracking half an hour before I got home and guzzling ten ounces. I wish I hadn't stressed so much about it now. I put us through some pretty rotten days during my mat leave trying to get him to take a bottle.

Seconding the recommendation of the Avent soft spouts. You can see a breastfed baby "breastfeeding" on them - no need for bottle technique.

I'm afraid when I was working DD had a choice - bottle (soft spout) or go without until evening. If she screamed, granny never said.

Neither of mine ever had a bottle.

As PP have said, they just adjust around the feeds that are available.I guess it was easier in my day though as the advice was to give food from 16 weeks [old gimmer emoticon]

Can't you take your baby with you?
Is it work you have to go to?
I have breastfed my babaies for a total of seven years- never once used a bottle, I just took my babies out with me.

It's a tribunal I have to attend. Baby would not be able to come and it will likely last all day. Dh could come up at lunchtime but it's likely to be central London and we have a 3 year old. Not ideal.
Plus I want to be able to go out on occasion. The thought of no social life for a year is making me depressed and anxious

I bought a Haberman feeder for my bottle-refusing baby, and he took to it quite quickly. It's more like a boob apparently.

My friend had so much trouble trying to get awkward-baby to take a bottle. She had success in the end with the cheap nasty weird floppy sort of bottles that you seem to only be able to get in Thailand? No idea if that is any help, but our Western bottles are too "luxe" apparently?

I should say floppy teats.

Which conjures up all sorts but you get me?

Try a faster flow teat, it worked a treat for my friend. She used to do the chewing thing and when milk came out quicker she got the hang of it, obv just be careful if she's not used to it. Good luck

Mam bottles worked where all else failed for me. This too shall pass x