Strangers parking in my drive!

[ThomasMaraJrsSubpoena]

Sorry, guys, I know this runs the risk of being A.N.Other parking fred, but I've looked and can't see this specific ishoo:

Recently bought a flat; ground floor of a two-flat detached property. According to the Land Registry, we [leasehold] own all the land of the plot.

Most of the houses on the street have dipped kerbs to create 1-2 parking spaces on the plot directly in front of their house, ours is such. Problem is, we're the first house on the street from a main road and we're constantly coming home to find some completely random car parked on our property! NB, NOT a neighbour, but some visitor of a local takeaway/restauran/knocking shop.

To clarify, our upstairs neighbour had said early on that she doesn't see the spaces out the front as hers (Also, she doesn't own a car or have any/many friends with cars). We chatted about it and we agreed she'd let us know if she was expecting any guests so I can be courteous when I ask people to "get orrf moy laannd" . So, bottom line, it was almost certainly not hers/friend of hers.

Tonight's example was parked right in the middle of the plot, so I couldn't even pull my car in on one side, ands/he had also positioned to the front of the property (there's about 12 ft between the wall of the house and the pedestrian walkway - s/he was occupying the "front half"), so if I wanted to park in front and block 'em in, I wouldn't really be on "my land" anymore, but parked across the pedestrian pavement, so that would have made my parking illegal. I put a note on the bastard's windscreen saying "You have illegally parked on private land. Don't do it again", but couldn't wait around to confront the parker.

We'll be contemplating bollards, eventually. But, in the meantime, what is my redress? I understand the basic concept of "trespass", but what does this mean/how far can I take it? Can I tow? Clamp? Key? Smash headlamps? Declare something abandoned?

I wouldn't ask, but I'm desperate - any attempt to google (or otherwise) the concept of "parking on private land" leads me only to "how to avoid paying Private Eye tickets" and similar. But I'm not some big, faceless corporation trying to get revenue. I just want to park in front of my house and (tonight) move some of my stuff in! And the only Mumsnet freds I've found have been about specific neighbours who are known. Not my ishoo...

It's bollards or a fence and gate, I should think. I'm not sure what else you could do. Or put a big sign up saying they'll be clamped?

Don't do any damage. A Private Parking sign may suffice or, like supermarkets do put up a sign saying parking costs £50 per hour. Alternatively a chain accross the access is cheaper than bollards.

From britishparking website

My private drive way is next to a pay and display council car park and people keep parking in my space as opposed to paying for a ticket. How can I stop this?
Private land is private land; the Protection of Freedoms Act makes no distinctions. If, on occasions, the same vehicle continues to do this then, as an individual landowner, you would still be able to contact DVLA to obtain details of the registered keeper and undertake a private enforcement action in accordance with your statutory rights for trespass. You may need to employ the services of an Approved Operator to assist if it is a regular occurrence, but with a multitude of vehicles. Alternatively you may have to resort to physical measures to restrict access to your driveway.

Until you get the bollards, gate or fence, put up a sign saying private property, do not trespass.
Get some cones, put them across your drive.

Are you going to get penguin bollards?

According to the plees here, there's not a lot you can do legally. If you block them in, you're the one committing an offence! So yeah, gates or similar I'd say.

Ooh! We do have a couple of cones! Might be a short-term hack.

I've seen (as part of my googling) a company that might give one "enforcement" help (if one takes a mobile photo of the offending party) and, after 15 offences the landowner earns £9. Feck that. Not interested. Don't want to make money offa this, just want to be able to park on moooy laannnd

Sorry, my computer is really slow - hope I'm not missing things.

I would accidentally drop a couple of wine bottles on my own driveway. Well if some idiot has parked on my driveway, its not my fault they now have to reverse over it

Penguin bollards - I thought about these! My prob is that this is not, by ant stretch of th imagination, public land. I can't believe that anybody parking suchly would think it's NOT private land.

I'm utterly ashamed of myself - I remember the PenguinBollards freds, I even contributed (under my normal/non-seasonalNC name). But I don't remember taking away any info about whether my crowbar which is normally used for just-moved-in-ooh-these-floorboards might be relevant...

QTPie - oh, you adorable thing, you - my freeholder is utterly useless and will be replaced at the earliest opp

I think I'll be doing the signs/bollards. Just sad that the law doesn't allow me to do whatever I want to what comes onto my land without my invitation.

Thanks, all, for your wise words.

Totally sympathise. We had the exact same problem a few years back. I lost count of the number of night shifts I worked, to come home knackered and just wanting to get into bed, and I couldn't park in the space I owned, on a private driveway, as some wanker had decided they needed to use it. Once it was bloody British Gas who were working on a house down the road!!! In the end, we involved the community police, who were amazing, and got lots of signs. A similar property got bollards. I'd get bollards faced with the same situation again. Good luck. Some people are just feral and have no respect for others.

Smear a few chosen expletives on their windscreen with lipstick or vaseline. It won't help whatsoever, but it might make you feel better. (Anyone remember COCK PISS PARTRIDGE?)

COBL Talk! you dreadful tease. :P What's this about partridges?!?

Not a fan of Alan Patridge then ThomasMara?! You heathen you. Ok, small snippet for you M.

Oh that went all wrong, lets try again

Sign saying "Private Parking" (maybe with threat of clamping?)