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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not 'do' Santa with 6 year old DD?

15 replies

NotTodaySatan · 09/12/2014 10:21

DD is 6. A very mature and logical 6. We have never made a big deal out of Santa but went along with it without giving it too much thought.

This year I feel really uncomfortable about it. She loves Christmas and presents (of course) but never mentions Santa apart from to say it's scientifically impossible for him to visit every country in the world in one night . She doesn't want a PNP video this year. She just doesn't buy into any of it.

I feel like we're doing her a disservice by expecting her to go along with it. It seems babyish. And I feel bad lying to her (even if it's a 'good' lie, it's still a lie).

WIBU to just stop with the Santa stuff? I don't mean sit her down and tell her it's all a lie but just change how we talk about Xmas and drop the Santa stuff?

Or am I chronically over thinking this??

OP posts:

TeenageMutantNinjaTurtle · 09/12/2014 10:22

over thinking. just follow her lead.

NobodyLivesHere · 09/12/2014 10:23

I'd just not mention it. Let her draw her own conclusions.

CocktailQueen · 09/12/2014 10:23

Ah, she may be a mature 6 but I'd keep Santa going for a few more years! My dd is 11 and doesn't believe any more, but still loves the excitement of opening her stocking on Christmas morning and wondering what's in it...

You don't have to watch the Santa video or leave carrots out for the reindeer; just make sure Santa visits during the night :)

Original poster

NotTodaySatan · 09/12/2014 10:27

Oh she'll still get presents Cocktail!! We're not that cruel .

It just seems pointless to keep talking about Santa. I'm 99% sure she has figured it all out (why are there ads for toys everywhere if Santa and his elves are supposed to make them? etc).

I was 11 when I found out he wasn't real and I was heartbroken.

I don't want her to have a childhood devoid of magic but I also don't want to patronise her. Following her lead is good advice.

OP posts:

Aeroflotgirl · 09/12/2014 10:33

Just take her lead, and let her figure it out for herself.

TiggerLillies · 09/12/2014 10:35

Your sensitivity to your daughter demonstrates what a good mother you are. It does sound like she's had worked it out, I'd be inclined to just not mention it if she hasn't!
If she asks, you could always tell her the truth but tell her that her sibling / Dad / grandma /xxx doesn't know so please don't mention it? Or get her Dad to tell her you think he is real, then you get to enjoy the magic anyway. She doesn't sound like the kind of kid that would enjoy the white lie of Santa particularly.

SoonToBeMrsB · 09/12/2014 10:52

I was the same as your DD, I was really young when I worked it out and asked my mum flat out. She told me that he wasn't real but I had to keep pretending for my brother

Idontseeanysontarans · 09/12/2014 11:16

She might think you believe
DS knew for at least a year before he told me but he thought that me and DH believed in him so didn't want to upset us!
YANBU I would just be lead by her and only talk about it if she raises the subject herself.

Meirasa · 09/12/2014 11:18

My mum always said 'as long as you believe in Santa, Santa will come' It wasn't a lie and the whole thing added to the joy of Christmas. She's only six and will spend long enough without magic to have a little now- however dubious it may seem- questioning is good but it doesn't mean they know for sure.

PortofinoVino · 09/12/2014 11:23

Well, I got 'bingo' in the op's first post with the "lying bit".

Quenna · 09/12/2014 11:29

Agree follow her lead. We don't do Santa really, Ds1 found it terrifying so we never really stressed it after that. Santa, tooth fairy etc, they know it's a game but they play along. I wouldn't lie to them when they need the reassurance of an adult delineating truth from imaginary. Some children need this to be very clear or they get very stressed. Once they know what's what, they they can play along quite happily with 'the game'.

goindowntoyasgursfarm · 09/12/2014 11:31

We 'do' Santa, while also not lying. We all pretend he exists. I was the same as a child, and I would still get super-overexcited at 5am on Xmas morning when I realised the stocking was full and chunky. And I never believed in Santa! I wonder why many adults think Christmas can't be magical unless you believe Santa truly exists?

SoupDragon · 09/12/2014 11:37

I don't get all the "angst" about Santa.

I made it quite clear to my DSs that if they didn't believe in Santa he wouldn't bring them presents. Which is true, as I would continue to buy them but it would be very dull without the sack of presents magically appearing overnight.

They are now 16 and 14 and still write their letters to Santa :)

Purplepoodle · 09/12/2014 11:44

Iv not gone into santa in a big way. Haven't even bothered with santa list but probably start next year when eldest is 7. All dc get one present from santa plus stocking and then rest presents are labelled who they are from - mum, brother ect. They don't seem overly fussed. Just follow her lead. Ask her if she wants to write a letter or leave food out for santa and see what she says

SlimJiminy · 09/12/2014 11:55

Carrot, mince pie and glass of milk still left out in my parents and ILs households despite the kids all being grown ups. All part of the fun isn't it? Whether you believe or not?

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