To find this announcement a bit strange

[Fallingovercliffs]

A colleague is going to New York with her boyfriend next week and has told several of us that they are 'going to get engaged' while they are over there. AIBU to think that she is already engaged if they have agreed to get married?

Unofficially engaged and officially engaged, perhaps?

They're probably going to swap rings, have a nice meal and ride around in a pony trap.

Or maybe shes hoping. Do agree she unofficially engaged..

Yes, really weird. I know lots of people who talked about getting engaged and then were 'surprised' by their intended. At least they said they were surprised

You know what they mean. They know what they mean. We all know what they mean.

You could just be happy for them.

Why is this bothering you?

They are waiting until they get to the big smoke.

Be happy about it.

Oh, you do lack that certain romance! I had no idea Bah Humbug had spread so far!

What is wrong with planning an engagement moment? I had my ring for about 2 months before nowDH gave it to me at his mum's house on Christmas morning. It was saved for her enjoyment and did nothing to spoil our feelings of being engaged.

You're right but I think you could find other things to be bothered about.

I do have other things to be bothered about thank you. I am just confused as to what point people consider themselves engaged as to me, it is when you both agree to get married.

Saucy where did I say I wasn't happy for them???

How old are they?
When I told my Nana that DH had asked me to marry him, she asked "So are you going to be engaged?"

They're about thirty Home.

Maybe she's planning to propose? (and I'd sure of acceptance, of course).

Yes, I think it's a bit weird to announce before the event, especially when it would be just as exciting to do so in a few days time with the concrete news. But harmless weird IYSWIM.

They obviously consider an engagement begins after a formal proposal and exchange of engagement rings.

It's quite clear to me. I really don't understand why- out of all the things in the world- this is what's nitpicking you.

Why do you bother coming on AIBU Saucy if you get annoyed about idle conversations about relatively minor things?

I agree Auntie harmless weird, but I think it does take some of the excitement away from the official announcement when they've already started telling people beforehand that they're 'going to get engaged'.

Because I love a good froth. Next question?

But you object to other people having a bit of a debate about something that isn't earthshattering? Strange.

How formal does engagement need to be, these days, is a fair question.

So would you find it weird if a friend told you they were planning on having a baby, while not yet being pregnant?' Op.

Yes but "really don't understand why- out of all the things in the world- this is what's nitpicking you" is a bit of a daft comment on a forum where people talk about all kinds of everything.

No, because the decision to have a baby doesn't mean you are definitely going to get pregnant.

However, the decision to get married does surely mean you are going to get married.

I agree with you op, but I suspect it's probably more common than we realise. Her mistake was to admit to you that this is what they were planning.

Well, no because engagements do end.

Having said that, I do agree with your OP; I think it is odd to announce you are going to get engaged. each to their own though.

Actually, when I was doing my A Levels people had lots of temporary engagements. I don't know what things are like nowadays. A fiance/ee was just a silly one-upmanship.

I agree with you too OP - to my mind, once the pair of you have agreed that you will get married, that is when your engagement starts.
Possibly she could have said 'to celebrate getting engaged' or something instead.
However, I also agree with you that it's nice to have a bit of a chat about things that you think are a bit odd, and wonder if it's just you that thinks that way, and that every thread doesn't need to be of earth shattering importance.