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AIBU?

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Original poster

To hit delete and never share this opportunity?

35 replies

cantreallybebothered · 02/12/2014 12:33

Long backstory so there will probably be a significant amount of dripfeeding but simply put we met an "artist", he became DHs best friend, they convinced me together a business was a good idea, I basically got into reams of debt, spent in all c. £180k of family money I need to pay back on it and worked to do his profile work to make him a celeb therefore increase the value of our partnership for free over 4 years while also holding down a job and having 2 under 5.

Then the artist got distracted, DH couldn't do it alone and the business was based around this person, we lost everything the day I had my 3rd child. I'm so fucking tired, DH has lost his business and his friend.

Today I get the email i'd been working towards, a production company want to film a programme with the artist because of my work, my business.

Do I delete it? Or do I pass on a celebrity life to someone who destroyed us but at least I proved we did what we promised and he was so very very wrong?

OP posts:
HopeNope · 02/12/2014 12:35

This must be very difficult for you but I would pass it on. You will be paid for your kindness in other ways.

barcoda · 02/12/2014 12:36

Wow, this is an odd one.

I think if you pass on the email you wont be able to let go of this for some time.

What does DH think?

It sounds like a right cock-up if I am honest! You poor thing, whta possessed you to do it in the first place?!

R4roger · 02/12/2014 12:38

isnt the artist still distracted though? Would he actually follow through?

CleanLinesSharpEdges · 02/12/2014 12:38

I'd Delete it without a second thought, but then I'd also be quick to ditch the dickhead DH who convinced you to spend 180k on a pipe dream.

Rosa · 02/12/2014 12:39

Can you not make any money out of this and recuperate some of your loss?

BuzzardBirdRoast · 02/12/2014 12:39

You could explain to the production company what has happened. Then they will have a whole new programme to produce and you might actually get paid for it?

I wouldn't pass it on to 'celeb' and hope he/she ends up in the jungle.

barcoda · 02/12/2014 12:40

What on EARTH diud you spend £180k on #nosy

gamerchick · 02/12/2014 12:40

I bloody wouldn't in a million years.

IncognitoBurrito · 02/12/2014 12:41

If you passed it on and the artist did well out of it, would he maybe pay you back so not all is lost?

Purplepoodle · 02/12/2014 12:42

I would be emailing back saying we are no longer in touch with this person as he has bankrupted us.

OatcakeCravings · 02/12/2014 13:05

I need more information!

What do you mean, the call you have been working towards? Is there no way to claw some of the money back co-operating with this production company? Would the "artist" come back into the fold for this? Did you mean 18K as opposed to 180K (I bloody hope so!)?

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 02/12/2014 13:10

I think you need some legal advice here. I'd only pass it on if linked to you being able to recover some money.

AtALoss123 · 02/12/2014 13:31

I think PurplePoodle's suggestion is excellent.

Original poster
cantreallybebothered · 02/12/2014 13:33

I'll try to answer sorry if I miss anything.

hope that's the answer on the person I would like to be but not sure I'm able.

Barcoda DH is currently at the rock hard minimum wage job he's taken to try and dig us out of the shit so he doesn't know. He's struggling with anxiety and depression as a result of failing his family so badly and being burnt by his bfriend so I'm going to have to tackle this carefully this evening. Oh and it was a physical set up and funding of a business to do with this talent, can't say anymore than that!

Roger no he wanted this he'll whip his head back in 3 seconds for the chance at it. He was distracted by other "friends" who have promised him the earth for years and never delivered anything just because he wanted some pennies, because I wouldn't pay a salary on top of everything else as we had agreed the long game (he had other income to live on). The childish prick. Though you are right, he's feckless, I have no idea now if he'd go again.

Clean DH was right though, it has happened so it wasn't a pipe dream. What we were stupid with was realising how dependent we were on someone who has proven to be untrustworthy.

Buzzard would love to but doubt they'd be interested. He is a nobody but with an amazing talent (and not a shit one a skill, think james martin or Gok Wan), he just didn't know how to make it and I did, I knew I could and I have. 3 months too late. ...

everyone else, that's something maybe to consider. Can I somehow go back to square one with him and legally make him follow his promise through so I get something back? That's the rationale response I suppose I've reacted on emotion.

OP posts:
Original poster
cantreallybebothered · 02/12/2014 13:35

I'm a regular user btw just namechanged for obvious reasons!

OP posts:
whois · 02/12/2014 13:40

Um wow... I would speak to someone who knows about this kind of thing - and try and make some money out of this.

Guess this is why agents make 'stars' sign up for life at 40% of their earning on water right contacts!

AGnu · 02/12/2014 13:41

Could you contact him & explain that you've got an amazing opportunity for him... Then get him to sign a contract with you as his agent or whatever before you tell him who wants to make the programme?

lavenderhoney · 02/12/2014 13:42

Have you got anything in writing to prove this artist owes you money? What did you pay for as that's a HUGE amount. If it's your work and your business where is that money now? Tied up in what?

Have you written to him formally stating he owes you x amount for x and you want to be paid- suggest you see a solicitor experienced in this and ask. Do it quickly.

Write back to the production company saying you are very interested and would like to discuss with the appropriate person. Get a call booked or better still go in person ASAP. See solicitor first so you have facts. See production company and ask what they will pay for you to get involved. Armed with the facts from a lawyer, you may find your artist has another benefactor and may pay to make you go away. Add interest.

Icimoi · 02/12/2014 13:44

Did you have any sort of legal agreement with this person, e.g. an agency agreement? If so, take immediate legal advice about enforcing it.

sunflower49 · 02/12/2014 13:46

I'd make some £ out of it. There MUST be a way! Poor you.

BertieBrabinger · 02/12/2014 13:46

OP, could you negotiate with the TV company and do it so that you are a co-producer and thus start earning from the off?

CleanLinesSharpEdges · 02/12/2014 13:48

Sorry but it was a pipe dream.

You don't sink 180k into a business that is reliant on one person only and all depends on how trustworthy that person is. What about contracts, paperwork, dotting the i's and crossing the t's so that the person your whole business is reliant on can't have his head turned by other friends and walk away with no recourse for you.

Of course if he is sewn up in a watertight contract with you then take legal advice. If not then don't be surprised if you pass on the email, he grabs the opportunity with both hands and you don't see him for dust. He's already proved he's untrustworthy.

I do feel for you, it's a really shitty situation and it appears your DH was totally taken in and very foolish.

sliceofsoup · 02/12/2014 13:54

Its odd really, isn't it.

I mean, what is the purpose of this? People are still going to be exploited in this industry. They won't be performing these acts, just the multiple other ones that exist.

sliceofsoup · 02/12/2014 13:55

Wrong thread. Sorry.

wooldonor · 02/12/2014 14:00

If you have a chance of recouping some of your expenditure and as someone above said you have proper legal paperwork in place I'd be tempted to go ahead.

This isn't a time for karma type crap - you've spent a huge amount of money, try and get some back (with interest if possible)

Good luck