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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not know what to do with DSs presents?

22 replies

catgirl1976 · 23/11/2014 19:53

DS was 3 today.

He got some presents from us this morning and ones from MIL, BIL and a Great Aunt which had come by post.

Then he got presents from DPs, DB and DSis when we saw them later on.

So - plenty of presents already.

Then we had a party. About 20 children came and every single one (very kindly) brought him a present.

We haven't let him open the presents from the party as, even by the time he was opening the ones from my DPs, he was overwhelmed by the amount of stuff and tired from an exciting day. He was already at the point where he wasn't appreciating what was in the present -just the fun of opening them IYSWIM. Rip, rip, cursory glance and on to the next.

So now we have circa 20 unopened presents. I just think it's too much for him to take in / appreciate.

I'm thinking of staggering them between now and Christmas and giving him one or two a week. Maybe on a Saturday or for really good behaviour and maybe even keeping a few for Christmas.

BUT on the other hand, I feel a tiny bit mean not letting him open all his gifts (and I am going to have to do very generic thank you letters)

I can't be the first person in this situation, so .......AIBU? Or do most people find this is an issue and stagger presents / hold them back for young children?

OP posts:

cheifbrody · 23/11/2014 19:59

I would let him open everything and then put them away and bring them out as you said one a week or so....... let him choose what he plays with

Babiecakes11 · 23/11/2014 20:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

purpleroses · 23/11/2014 20:01

I'd let him open them over the next week or so. People expect to be thanked for presents, and may mention what they have him. Plus you might want to avoid buying him the same things for Christmas

skylark2 · 23/11/2014 20:02

I think you should open them all before sending thankyou letters. It's unlikely that any of them are deeply personally significant, but think how awful you'd feel if one of them was and you sent a completely generic thankyou.

PercyGherkin · 23/11/2014 20:05

I stagger them over a week or so - I'm unlikely to do the thank yous faster than that. Some of the 20 are likely to be duplicates or as good as of things he already has or other presents, don't let him open the packets and whip those off quickly and put them in the presents for other children box (making a note of who have them to you!). Then give the others to him as appropriate when you know what they are, so you don't end up with ten half done colouring books on the go at once.

Original poster

catgirl1976 · 23/11/2014 20:07

I'll let him open them all over the coming week, then put them away and let him play with one or two things at a time. Good point about the duplicates and the horror of sending a generic thanks to a massively personal gift

OP posts:

SaucyJack · 23/11/2014 20:21

Just stop being a killjoy and give him his bloody presents

Also, I might be over-thinking it but I am tremendously uncomfortable with him having to be good in order for you to hand over stuff that other people have already given him as a gift. I would be quite pissed off if I were the giver.

Original poster

catgirl1976 · 23/11/2014 20:23

I was wondering if I was being a miserable old trout

There's just so much stuff

OP posts:

agoodbook · 23/11/2014 20:30

My DGS is two, and the only grandchild on both sides , and amongst a lot of family and friends. He is deluged with toys and presents ( we try not to!) My daughter got them all opened in the week after his birthday. She now 'rotates' the toys. He has so many put away completely for about 2-3 weeks, then they are all changed apart from any real favourites. Any that are surplus or duplicates she donates to the local Womens Refuge, along with any children's clothes spare/grown out of .

HamJAMspam · 23/11/2014 20:32

This is what happens when you have parties!
Let him open them, write a note of who gave what. all part of the fun of being three.

attheendoftheday · 23/11/2014 22:43

I stick them in a bag and my dc can ask to open one when they fancy it. It normally takes a week or so. When they were little it took longer and a couple of times I opened a corner to see what things were and send thank yous, then taped them up again.

AndHarry · 23/11/2014 22:55

I had this. It's not a popular solution but DS opened everything over a few days, we wrote thankyous and then I hid most of the toys for a few months. Anything he asked for, he got back. Everything else went to a charity shop in another town.

Mean, ungrateful, blah, blah. He didn't need or want it and I don't have a house bursting at the seams with toys.

momwhereismy · 23/11/2014 22:58

I find with my Ds his presents are always staggered between party and visiting family (in two different locations). I find after about two weeks he becomes grabby and spoilt so I would open in one go! I do put some away that he isn't that bothered about and they are great for rainy or sick days.

TwelveLeggedWalk · 23/11/2014 23:01

For the second birthday we spread out opening everything (twins here, so A LOT of parcels), but it went on for ages, espeically by the time there had been a couple of days when their behaviour wasn't good enough for us to want to 'reward' them... Then we got to a situation where they were wheedling for a present for day after day.

This year, 3yo, we did it in one hit. We opened gifts that family gave in person first, then we opened postal parcels etc straight afterwards, and tucked a few things away immediately. We also made them open cards so they knew who had given them what.

I would do it tomorrow - piece of birthday cake, little chat about how nice it was of everyone to give him something. Then it stops, you can sneak some away, and gives you a bit of breathing space before Christmas.

TrendStopper · 24/11/2014 11:22

I would just give him the gifts now & let him open them.

If I give a birthday gift I expect it to be given to the child straight away & not in 3,4,5 weeks time.

At least you are giving him his presents. My friends dc went to a party & gave the child a present. Fast forward a few months & her dc got the present back as a birthday gift

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 24/11/2014 11:43

We had this problem for dd's 4th birthday. We let her open 1 or 2 a day. She'd then play with that present that day. Lasted a good couple of weeks. Was good fun for all of us.

FishesTit · 24/11/2014 11:46

I'd start a Christmas advent giving him one unopened gift each day.

VacantExpression · 24/11/2014 11:46

One of the reasons I dread my DC's having parties- massive piles of presents to find a place for!
I tend to get family (aunts and uncles with grandparents) to club together and buy bigger, more main presents which helps reduce the pile of plastic..

PeaStalks · 24/11/2014 11:49

What I used to do was open them all, write down who sent what.
Send the thank you letters then put almost all the stuff away. Most of the small party gifts would be re wrapped and given to someone else at the next party.

Keep the stuff you know they like and will play with. Divide all his toys into 4 lots and only have 1 "set" available at any time, after about 3 or 4 weeks put them away and get another "set" out.
This keeps them fresh.

TheAlias · 24/11/2014 11:52

At that age, I would have let him open them and then put them all away. Either to be brought out for a rainy day, when something new is useful for a journey or to be passed on when he's invited to the return parties post it notes with the giver are a good idea!

It gets harder to ferret things away as they get older and remember what they've had but by then you'll have realised that 7/8 people for a party is more than enough

PeaStalks · 24/11/2014 12:42

by then you'll have realised that 7/8 people for a party is more than enough
Yes I agree, at 3 years old one or two "friends" for tea is enough.

Original poster

catgirl1976 · 24/11/2014 13:04

by then you'll have realised that 7/8 people for a party is more than enough

Oh yes. Fully realised :) It was FAR too much for DS and there were children there I don't think he actually knew. Plus it cost a fortune :)

Next year I think a smaller group might be better all round.

There should be a book with all these things in for new parents

OP posts:

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