To expect my 15mo DD to...

[Bridezilla3521]

Be intrigued and wanting to get involved with activities at play group?

DD started in a new play group last week. It's not totally new as it's the same staff, some of the same children and same place (just new as she is in the next age group). When we went there she just wanted to walk around and not really get involved, wouldn't listen and come with me when I was trying to get her involved. There was just no desire to get involved. She didn't want to sit when they sang songs either.

She loved going to the younger group and took part.

How can I encourage her to get involved and listen? She does listen usually but it's just like she switched off when we got there.

Posting here for traffic.

She's only 15 months. I let mone wander, do what he likes within reason. What he finds to do is infinitely more fun than what I think is a good game. Some babies don't need that constant interaction with their parents.

Maybe her way of getting comfortable is to explore on her own terms, shy at first but give it a couple of weeks

I wonder if it's a developmental thing somehow. My 16 mo DS has just suddenly stopped wanting to sit in a circle and sing songs at our library group and would now rather walk around/try to get out the door/pull young adult fiction off the shelves and try to get me to read Twilight to him

It's a new group and she's presumably at the very bottom end of the agegroup it's intended for.

If she's engaged with the younger group and completely disinterested in the older one, I would take her back to the younger group for a month or two. The time to move her up is when she no longer loves the younger one.

She is a baby still honestly try and not worry maybe the new group isnt holding her interest little toddlers need short bursts to keep their attention keep at it and remember she will be taking everything in still.

My son is nearly three and isn't interested in sitting down for story time at play group or spending much time with me - I think it shows a healthy independence and demonstrates an interest in dictating their own pace. He's much more interested in setting his own agenda than 'lead' activities and has been since about your daughter's age. Is she not enjoying herself at the older group, or is it just that she's not doing the activities you would prefer her to do?

She's 15 months. Chill.

Thanks for the replies.

I understand I might be expecting too much but she doesn't get involved in anything. At all.

I posted to ask of suggestions to encourage her to have a go on the activities (based on lots of exploring and climbing etc).

She is very much a confident walker and likes to explore usually.

Then let her explore. Just by walking around she's learning. She has plenty of time to be directed and cajoled and controlled. Just let her be.

She's a baby. She just wants to do her own thing. As for "not listening", you have a while to wait before that happens

Just let her wander 15 months is the age they start exploring to see whats going on what activities do they playgroup have maybe its to old for her,

Yes that is unrealistic at this age. Plenty of 2&3 year olds aren't massively interested, let alone 15 mo.

Ive worked with under 5s for years and your little girl is normal atm its a lot of under2s I work with and most of them flit fr8m 1 thing to another

DS1 was like this. Suddenly stopped being interested in sitting and singing at the library, just wanted to wander about. He would do the same at nursery. We just let him get on with it ad in his own time he got involved and stuck in with the rest of the kids.

I think the more you try to push and get them doing stuff the more they resist and pull the other way. I've sat and do e some activities and let him do his thing without calling to him or trying to engage him and he's often eventually come and fin out what I was up to. He's rather nosey and just likes to check everything out.

She's probably just enjoying a good potter and doing her own thing. As for the listening, well DS1 is now 3 and doesn't listen! All par for the course I'm afraid!

If you think about it the wandering is their confidence vand curiosity growing its a good thing imo

My DS is the same, likes to mostly do his own thing and is not so interested in playing with other kids. As my mum says that I was exactly the same as well, I'm not too worried, I turned out just fine.

She is "involved" at her own level, though. At 15 months wandering around and looking is very important. She'll graduate to more structured participation in time.

how long has she been in the new group?

I wouldn't worry. my dd is the same age and will only really engage when her brother and sister are around. I can take her to the park just us and she won't play or climb or anything. put her big brother in the park and she is into everything. could it just be that's is sussing out the lay of the land?

Since you asked, yes YABU sorry.

She's a baby, you shouldn't 'expect' her to do anything really.

You really have NOTHING to worry about.

DC2 was not interested in sitting down time at any of his groups - at Gymboree I used to be the only mum still following him round the equipment while everyone else was doing singing (the teacher used to give me a rather black look). He was 2 then, I think.

He's now in Year 1, and very well behaved, good at sitting and concentrating, doing very well at school. He was just a toddler who liked doing his own thing and didn't want to sit in circles. It wasn't me (DC1 and DC3 would join in circle time etc. no problem). And it wasn't a problem - just his preferred way of interacting with different environments. He has a definite 'design' talent with Lego and suchlike, and is much better than his siblings at inventing his own ideas rather than following the instructions on the leaflets. I think his refusal to follow group activities as a toddler was all part of this, actually.

If she only moved up to the new playgroup last week then it's totally natural that she's still checking it out. At 15 months they are starting to test out their independence too (which is the launch pad for the terrible twos) so I would just let her do what's she doing and not stress about it.

Totally depends on the child. Some toddlers I know (incl DD) have always loved 'joining in', others are in their own world and not interested in it at all. Both are totally normal.

(The ones in their own little world tend to be quieter and less demanding IME so if you have one of these, count your blessings!)

My dd was like this when she moved up to the next age group in the music class I take her too. From confidently joining in with all the songs in the lower age group, she was completely different in the older one. Wasn't interested in joining in and ignored everything I said. All she wanted to do was climb up and down the two or three steps in the room. Like you, the class was run by the same person and a couple of other kids had moved up too.

I nearly left the group but at the leafer's advice stick with it...and after about a month something changed. She suddenly started showing an interest and joined in.

I think it was just wariness at a fairly new set up. Plus the activities they wanted her to do were for slightly older children (group was 2-3, she was just 2) and just didn't capture her attention til she was that little bit older. Stick with it for a bit longer , is my advice I guess!