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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To take so long to eat?

23 replies

meticulousmatilda · 05/11/2014 13:42

I've just had lunch and it took me almost 25 minutes to eat two slices of toast with peanut butter, and a mug of tea. I tend to be a slow eater and things like peanut butter slow me down even more

I have had a troubled relationship with food in the past, which kicked off when I was a teenager and a dietician embarrassed me in front of other teens for eating so slowly. Obviously trouble was brewing before then, but I still remember how ashamed I was. It still comes back and rankles sometimes, even though I'm now doing fine with eating related issues, when I wonder if she was right. But in my house growing up we all just ate slowly, it wasn't a big deal.

Does it seem that I eat unusually slowly?

OP posts:

ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks · 05/11/2014 13:45

Yes it seems slow. What do you do? Pause a lot? Chew for ages? I ask because I also have an eating disorder and I eat embarrassingly fast. I have to conciously slow down when out for dinner or I just gobble up my food when others are still discussing theirs. I also HATE that. I hate talking about what's on the table. And I hate people who think it's polite to say "yum" and "Mm" a lot. It disgusts me.

Original poster

meticulousmatilda · 05/11/2014 13:49

I don't know what I do exactly! Take small bites? Take my time and enjoy it? I just don't like the pressure of feeling like I have to eat quickly, though obviously I can do it if I really have to! But it doesn't feel natural or good to me.

Sorry you have eating disorder stuff going on as well, Claw.

OP posts:

Bunbaker · 05/11/2014 13:49

OH eats very slowly, but that is because he has had surgery on his oesophagus and has to chew his food very thoroughly. I think he would take less than 25 minutes to get through the same lunch that you have had.

It would take me about 10 minutes to eat the toast and maybe a little longer to finish the tea.

When you are eating your dinner does it get cold before you have a chance to finish it?

Jackie0 · 05/11/2014 13:49

I don't think YABU.
You're a grown up, you can eat however you wish.
I can see you might be uncomfortable if you were out in a social situation though.
But to answer your question YANBU.

Firbolg · 05/11/2014 13:49

Peanut butter glues your teeth together. It might have taken me longer, if I could stomach the nasty, claggy muck in the first place. Which is not what you asked. It does seem slow - if you say you've suffered from disordered eating in the past, is it to do with control?

skylark2 · 05/11/2014 13:51

Eating slowly's fine (and often recommended, if people are eating too much). The problem would be if you eat so slowly that often you don't have time to eat a healthy meal.

SDTGisASpookyWoooolefGenius · 05/11/2014 13:52

I thought it was supposed to be a good thing to eat more slowly - because it gives your stomach time to send the message that it is full, and for your brain to process it. If you are eating fast, by the time the message gets through that you have had sufficient, you could have eaten quite a lot more than your body actually needs or wants.

I am working on slowing down when I eat, and eating more mindfully, as part of an attempt to lose weight.

Plus I think you can enjoy your food more if you take your time over it.

Original poster

meticulousmatilda · 05/11/2014 13:53

No, dinner doesn't tend to go cold on me. I think I eat a bit quicker at dinnertime than at breakfast and lunch, because I have built up more hunger by 8pm for example. It's when I'm not ravenous that I go slow; thank you for helping me realise that actually. It's not all the time, but when I'm not starving.

I don't think it's anything to do with control the way I eat now, though.

thank you for your replies!

OP posts:

IHaveBrilloHair · 05/11/2014 13:57

I eat slowly too, I like to enjoy my food and I'll often even put it down for a bit and go back to it.
I only do this at home though, in social situations I eat at a normal pace.
I am sure this is one of the reasons I have never been overweight, plus I cant stand the feeling of being really full, and if I eat quickly I get that without realising it.

ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks · 05/11/2014 14:07

It's really interesting to see other people's eating habits as it makes you notice your own more.

My sister's children go back and to their plates as well Brillo and once I was there and said "shall I move these plates now?" and she said "No...they haven't finished"

To me it seemed odd that they'd been eating from the plates for more than a n hour....I've always got rid of food...meals and snacks alike, when the plate is abandoned. As soon as the DC finish there "session" then that's it. The food is removed.

Flexibilityisaghost · 05/11/2014 14:11

YANBU. I eat slowly, always have done. Several other members of our family do too. DH bolts his food like a dog, and always ends up waiting for me. I much prefer taking my time and enjoying my food. I don't see why it would be a problem unless you are in a rush? I would rather not eat if I don't have time to eat at my own pace.

notfromstepford · 05/11/2014 14:39

I wouldn't see it as a problem at all.
Some people eat slower than others. I'm always short on time and tend to be thinking of the next thing I have to do, so I tend to bolt my food or don't bother to eat anything which isn't healthy at all.

But I do sit down for meals with DC now and then we can be sat at the table for 30 mins or so eating dinner because I force myself to slow down. I enjoy it more then and don't see it as "fuel" to keep going.

marmaladegranny · 05/11/2014 14:44

Apparently it's often only children who eat slowly! I certainly eat much more slowly than the rest of the family and I have no siblings…. But I don't leave the meal and return to it as pp do!

cherrybombxo · 05/11/2014 14:47

One of my best friends is the slowest eater I've ever met. I don't know what she does and she definitely doesn't have any sort of eating disorder but she's constantly apologising and making jokes about how long it takes her to eat a sandwich. I don't care - more time for me to get cake!

Artandco · 05/11/2014 14:47

Sounds ok to me. A mealtime in the evening lasts around an hour here for x2 adults and x2 children. I don think that's particular slow

In a restaurant I hate when it's a buy restaurant and you only get a 90min slot as I feel rushed to order fast, eat fast and rush out. A normal meal in restaurant is about 2 -3 hrs for us

Bunbaker · 05/11/2014 14:58

I think I eat at a normal pace. I know people who eat more quickly than me and people who eat more slowly.

I enjoy my food regardless of how fast I am eating. I don't like the implication that people who eat quickly don't enjoy their food. I do eat more quickly if I am particularly hungry though.

SpringBreaker · 05/11/2014 15:30

I eat quite slowly.. and I cant bear seeing someone wolfing down their food either. I also think it helps digestion to eat slowly and pause a little between each mouthful.

I havent always eaten this way, and I have noticed that it makes a huge difference on my digestion, and I rarely have that uncomfortable feeling you get when you have eaten too much too quickly and feel stuffed.

roofio87 · 05/11/2014 15:43

I eat very slowly after having mouth cancer and most of tongue removed!! I just have to chew everything slowly. It only really bothers me at the ILs who all eat sooo fast that I am always the last one left eating! otherwise I think it's good for you. I certainly eat less now as I get full up half way through the meal! take as long as you like to eat. my problems with food maybe more physical than psychological but I can't enjoy it if I'm forced to rush so I go the pace I'm happy with.

DoJo · 05/11/2014 15:53

I eat quite slowly - I have a very sensitive gag reflex so I have to chew my food really thoroughly before I can swallow it, otherwise it just doesn't go down! I have improved a little since my son was born as I had to be able to wolf things down when he was asleep or otherwise distracted, but left to myself I am always the last to finish. I don't see it as a particular problem, although I am not bothered by eating cold food which my husband finds odd. I think it's rude for others to comment on anyone else's eating patterns, so long as they aren't noisy or impinging on others in any way, so I would carry on as you are and not worry about what anyone else thinks!

FunkyBoldRibena · 05/11/2014 15:56

I eat slowly. I am usually about a quarter of the way through when my OH has finished his. He shovels his down and hardly chews.

I wouldn't worry about it OP. Eat how slow you like. It's your life!

mumwithanipad · 05/11/2014 16:15

Another slow eater here, I'd probably take the same amount of time to eat what you mentioned.

With sandwiches and toast and stuff I put it down after every bite, and I'll finish chewing and have swallowed one mouthful before I start chopping food up for the next, didn't know I did this until it was pointed out to me. I speed up when eating out but it makes the food less enjoyable to me, that's preferable though to having funny looks from people wanting to order desert. (Which I tell them to do without me as I don't usually have desert anyway so they don't need to wait)

OhHelpOhNoItsaGrufallo · 05/11/2014 16:27

Bunbaker Do you mind if I ask what your OH had to need surgery?
I ask as I had/have TOF (TracheoOesophagulFIstula) and had surgery at just hours old.

As a result my Oesophagus is slimmer than most, so I have to chew my food into tiny tiny pieces or it gets stuck.
I've never had anyone tell me I eat too slowly, or get frustrated with it, maybe it helps that I have an explainable reason for it.

On top of that, as a teen I had real issues with food, not a disorder as such, but I just never felt hungry, and forced myself to eat, between the TOF and forcing myself it meant I ate really slowly, sometimes still sat at the dinner table half an hour after everyone else had finished their dinner.

Bunbaker · 05/11/2014 16:40

He had some tissue in his oesophagus that the surgeon didn't like the look of. Fortunately it wasn't anything sinister, but the surgeon wanted to remove it in case it developed into something. His oesophagus is more sensitive these days and OH has to chew his food thoroughly as he is worried about choking on larger pieces of food.

He had put up with years of heartburn prior to that which he ignored. My advice to anyone suffering from heartburn is to always take an antacid because it can damage the oesophagus.

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