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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to find twitter stressful?

31 replies

Pumpkinpatches · 30/10/2014 07:11

Anyone with a child (young or grown up) who is in the public eye?

How do you handle all the attention on twitter etc.... Especially people asking you to pass on messages, saying how much they love your child etc.
There's only so many messages you can reply to!

Management likes her to have a very active profile on twitter and Instagram (fair enough) but it feels like the pressure is on me also!

This isn't a thread about me saying how great my child is or anything like that, hence why I have name changed for anonymity. So please don't ask who she is as I have no plans to reveal that.

There must be other mums out there in a similar situation? (If anyone can recommend the right place to put this please direct me!)

OP posts:
saintsandpoets · 30/10/2014 07:12

This is so weird.

Delete your Twitter if it bothers you so much.

Arlagirl · 30/10/2014 07:15

Is she an adult?

Original poster
Pumpkinpatches · 30/10/2014 07:16

If I could delete it I would!

OP posts:
saintsandpoets · 30/10/2014 07:22

Well stick it on private then.

Guitarghoul · 30/10/2014 07:25

Why can't you delete it? Am assuming you need it for your own work or something? Or is it just connected to your child?

rallytog1 · 30/10/2014 07:27

Surely her management should deal with her social media presence? You shouldn't have to. Unless of course you've made a rod for your own back by saying you're her mum on your own social media accounts?

Fabulous46 · 30/10/2014 07:31

I agree her management should be handling all social media. Change your Twitter name to something no-one will be able to link you to your daughter or delete the old account and set up a new one. It's pretty easy to be unidentifiable on twitter unless of course you thrive on the attention.

HerVagesty · 30/10/2014 07:34

It must be difficult to handle OP, especially if you aren't used to the attention.

My best advice would be to change your privacy settings so only those that you follow back can direct message you.

I'm not sure if you can block others from tweeting to you publicly without blocking them or going private, however you can prevent people from tagging you in photos.

I hope this has helped. You can PM me if you need any more help (not completely Twitter savvy, but know my way around the place).

mollypup · 30/10/2014 08:41

I think it's an X factor mum!

springlamb · 30/10/2014 08:53

I think you have to start blocking off her 'public persona'. I have a nephew who is coming to prominence his chosen career and he has just got to the point where he has ring-fenced his FB/Twitter accounts as Work and opened separate ones under slightly different names so that those of us who see him just as 'our X' can keep up with his normal life. No more holiday pics, girlfriend updates etc on his Work profiles.
If Joe Public has become aware that you are her mother, then perhaps you should change your profiles. Change your name slightly, send friend/follower requests only to a select few. Don't friend/follow her Public stuff. Ask a trusted friend/relation to do so and to let you know if anything serious is brewing (stalking etc).

Is she a minor? Talk to her management and make sure they ARE managing her Public image and make sure she had given clear parameters as to what is acceptable on her Public profile - ie 'candid' (for want of a better word) photos, family photos, friends (always try to keep the close friends as just that).
Try to maintain a home bubble, when she walks in the door she is Just your daughter, she can still be moaned at for leaving her room messy, she can still make the team she can still have her mates round - even if this can only happen once a month now because of her Public commitments.
I've used capitals for the word Public as it's really important that you accept she has decided she will be a Public figure but she still needs a private life.

londonrach · 30/10/2014 08:56

Aibu to still think twitter is birdwatching. (Ignores post). Op is stressful delete. I take it can be deleted like fb.

WowserBooooooooooooser · 30/10/2014 08:56

Is it Amy Willerton?
Are you Kris Jenner?
Chloe from the X Factor?
Kinga from BB?

springlamb · 30/10/2014 11:02

She won't say and rightly so.
I haven't sat down and had a cup of tea and a chat with my dn for the last 4 years apart from one occasion at a funeral (he was shunted in in between engagements and many non-family funeral guests just wanted to talk to him about the career, it was hard for us to get anywhere near him, we had to drag him into an adjoining room just to have some family time).
I have caught a couple of his gigsHmm
At the same time of course You're so proud they are moving on and achieving their dreams.

WorraLiberty · 30/10/2014 11:04

You are not legally obligated to have a Twitter account

Just close it.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 30/10/2014 11:08

I don't see why you are involved and have a twitter account relating to your child.

Set to private or delete, it's easily done.

skylark2 · 30/10/2014 11:18

I agree with others - there is no need for you to have a twitter account at all, much less one which connects you with your daughter's public face. Close it. Surely her management will be far happier being in control of her online image anyway?

WowserBooooooooooooser · 30/10/2014 12:46

She won't say and rightly so

But you both want to Grin

Sicaq · 30/10/2014 13:05

Not cool suggesting OP closes her account because of other people's behaviour, guys.

OP, have you tried HootSuite? It makes it a lot easier - you can choose to see all notifications, or only mentions from people you follow. I'm hardly famous but I do have a public profile amongst a certain demographic, and HootSuite has been a life saver for filtering tweets.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 30/10/2014 13:09

Sicaq OP has come onto Mumsnet complaining about Twitter being stressful, why carry on using it if it causes grief.

It's only social media and a lifestyle choice after all, not compulsory.

Suggesting closing an account is common sense surely? Hmm

RobbStarksBitch · 30/10/2014 13:24

No useful advice to give but this is the first time I actually think I might recognise someone from the OP! Obviously won't out as that would be mean but feeling quite giddy now.

God my life is sad...

skylark2 · 30/10/2014 13:28

"Not cool suggesting OP closes her account because of other people's behaviour, guys."

Um, what? I suggested she closes her account because she is unhappy about the pressure and attention she gets from it!

If a lifestyle choice is making someone unhappy, why carry on doing it? It would be more difficult if OP was the celebrity and was under pressure to maintain an online presence in her own right, but she isn't.

Chippednailvarnish · 30/10/2014 13:28

My heart bleeds for you OP

LookingThroughTheFog · 30/10/2014 13:34

Management likes her to have a very active profile on twitter and Instagram (fair enough)

I think you need to address this with them. They're employed to manage these aspects of your child's life, so it's not beyond reason to ask to have a sit down and discuss how you will respond to comments regarding your child. Could you link their Twitter Profile to redirect people to, for example.

If it's clear what the channels are to send information or questions through, you should have no problem just blocking all users who keep coming to you.

Sicaq · 30/10/2014 13:38

Twitter is very useful in many professions - and great fun - for many people. Why should we stop using it because of other people's behaviour? Is your response always to run away from stress rather than trying to manage it?

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 30/10/2014 13:43

Sicaq it's Twitter ; not something worth hand wringing about.

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