My dp is a twat!

[Patrickstarisabadbellend]

I am totally prepared to be told iabu.

Tonight dp told me that he has planned to go to the TT with the lads for the full week instead of us having a family holiday! I have said fine but when he comes back he won't be coming home to me.

Apparently this makes me a control freak? We won't be having a family holiday at all just so he can prance about on some bloody motorbike

While he was chatting that pile of crape also told me I'm not to spout my republican crap to his Gran. Apparently it offends her?

She sits in MY house talking absolute gibberish about the royal family and how amazing they are but I'm not supposed to have an opinion.

Aibu to bury them all under my patio?

I'll even iron and pack his case for him. I might even make him a lovely little packed lunch. Send him on his way with a smile.

But by god that lump won't get back into this house. Not on your nelly.

He must think I'm some sort of divvy.

Make sure there's a little out of date ham in that sandwich.

He's banged the weight and he's got bigger tits than me. He shouldn't be riding one of those things anyway

I'm certainly thinking midlife crises. If he comes home with bleach blonde hair and a goatee I'll lose my shit.

I'm struggling with the selling the family car thing - what?? Surely he gave you notice of this, didn't just up and sell it? Did he think he could stack you and the kids up on the back of the bike, maybe squash one each into the panniers?? Faaaaarking hell.

I think I love you, Patrickstarisabadbellend. Sorry your "D"P is being such a clod, though!

He's a fucker. You sound ace and deserve better. I will also help you bury the bastard, I have a very good shovel.

Well he won't be "coming home" with bleached blonde hair will he? He'll be "going home" to his new stinking bedsit!

What a dickhead!

Even if you don't drive how the hell were you supposed to get the kids anywhere?

I can't bear it if I'm left at home without my car. I panic that there'll be an emergency. If it goes to the garage I insist on them leaving me a loan car at home, even if I don't know whether I'll definitely need it or not.

Jesus. He'd have been out in his arse at that, never mind him telling the kids that he didn't want to go on holiday with them, he'd rather go off with his mates. What an arsehole.

He sold it then turned up in his dad's lime green Subaru. It had moss on the inside of the windows and it smelt of dog piss. His dad doesn't even own a dog so how the fuck does that happen?

Right, that's it. I'm gonna nip up the farm and get the tractor with the digger bucket. Where are you and where's your patio?

Well he's slithered off to bed with a worried look on his face. Good! Twat.

Have you ever heard how loud a Subaru is? And it was lime green!

Dd12 refused to get in it.

Lovely.

I'm just picturing my dd's faces if their daddy was to tell them no I don't want to take you on holiday, I want to go with my friends instead.

They'd be utterly heartbroken to hear that coming from their daddy.

You poor thing.

I'm bringing the shotgun too. Might as well get some practice in on the fucker.

HOw many kids do you have? 12 is going some...

Aged 12 I mean.

I have 3 dcs