Christmas Present Buying

[ChillySundays]

Another thread started me thinking. Where people buy for children only what do you with someone who hasn't got children but you have.

Also - if you they have less/no children do you spend more on them because they are buying more more - do they expect you to spend more?

The best way to get around the politics about this is to give without expectation. If you can only spend x amount then that's independent of what you expect the other person to return. Every year we buy for SIL and family but we get nothing. It doesn't bother me, because it's my choice to give knowing I'm not getting anything, but then again I give with no expectation of receiving.

If someone gets my children a gift and don't have children themselves then I normally get them a bottle of wine or one of those Panettone type cakes as a thank you.

Before we had children we always bought for my sil and my friends dc's. They often gave Dh and I a token gift between us.

When my aunt and uncle buy for my 2 we do the same. Buy them a joint gift such as a nice photo frame or cookery book.

We tend to buy family games for families - Tension, Sort it Out, Pay Day, Five Second Rule. Especially as the children get older and more engrosed in the X Box, Wii, using tablets, it's a great way to bring familes together and a good gift, no matter how big the family.

good question i have childless bachelor friend I try and get a few things yes. I couldnt hand over one present and receive one each for all four of us.

LadyLuck10 - My sentiments exactly but unfortunately since I am the one with children... Before i had children I would buy for friend's children without the woe is me and it's so unfair.

I have one family member (lets call her April with no OH or DC) who has categorically said not to buy for her and only buys for my two teenagers. She has been very good to me so I do get token presents from kids. She would be very upset if she thought they spent loads of money.

Another member (lets call her May) has an OH but no DC). She can often be heard moaning about it's not fair but strangely never heard her moan about friend's children just mine. I have to spend on her what she spends on the two kids and then her OH. Funny is the fact although May expects all this she doesn't think of April having to buy for her and OH and does not spend double on April's present. April also earns minimum wage and yet none of family seems to take this into consideration
What's that phrase involving s goose and gander!!!!
Each year Aprils tries the 'lets not buy' but May is like a child - 'Oh but I liek having presents'

Another question. How do your parents works out budget for presents? For example - say £100 per family.

So if you have children you as a person gets less as the £100 is divided between you and DC.
If you have no DC then the whole £100 is spent
Or does everyone have the same amount spent per person so if you have DC you get more as a family

As mentioned on the other thread May is the who sends out birthday and Christmas list!!!

Jesus Wept (John 11:15)

Its about the cebration of Jesus,not a credit card statement comparison

IMO, there's too much emphasis on number/price/size of presents being "equal" or "fair" - why bother? just all treat yourselves instead and have done with the whole buying/wrapping thing! (the only exception here is little kids who I do think should have the same number of parcels to open, but they need not have any idea of the relative values of the gifts)

buy for who you want to buy and spend what you want to/can afford to spend on them, regardless of what other peoples gifts cost and regardless of whether they will buy for you/your family in return.

The perfect gift for one person may only cost a fiver, or items may be on 3 for 2 offer so one gift costs nothing - does that mean you have to buy that person something else too? of course not!

If you give and don't receive, so what - you can always decided not to buy for that person again, or you can just go on treating them with no thought of getting something in return. They can decide whether they want to buy for you, they don't have to just because you buy for them.

We just buy for very close family (adults and kids), and then as and when my very close friends have kids, I buy for those kids too.

Agreed with ladyluck. Don't give to receive, give presents if you so wish and to whatever budget you feel like. Fuck present buying politics, ain't nobody got time for dat. It's just not what Christmas is about. I genuinely don't expect presents from anyone for me or for DC and I generally don't buy any for anyone other than DH and DC obviously either. I've made jam this year for everyone so I guess I'm being kinder . But I just don't think Christmas is about money thats what the capitalists want us to think.

Admit - I feel like weeping!
Of course I am made to look grabby when I try and say no presents as they think I mean I want you to buy for my DC but I don't want to get you anything.

You have no idea the chaos it caused when April suggested it. It was like the world was coming to an end

Sorry that should read that May (rather than other family members) thinks I mean I want you to buy for my DC but I don't want to get you anything.