to just want a friend?

[Spiraea]

I am so lonely. I would love someone to go out for a coffee with, see a film with, invite over for a trashy movie and some wine and takeaway food.

I feel like I don't fit in with any particular part of society. I just want to know a few nice people to do bits and bobs with. When did that become so difficult.

Where do you live? I'm in the same boat.

Would you feel OK saying whereabouts you are OP? I'm sure there's be a mnetter close by who would meet up with you there's loads of us, we're like rats, never less than 6 feet away from one!

Damn strike through fail!

You could name a region rather than a locale.

I felt a bit like this for a while after relocating and then there was a horrible year when close friends moved away (long distance or internationally) for work. It's not much fun is it?

I know this will sound like a cliche but do you have any hobbies/interests that get you out and about?

I have moved around a lot and I always make the effort to join clubs/groups/committees - anything really and I end up meeting like minded people - some will become friends, some won't (that's life).

Do be careful not to come across as being too desperate or needy though, I have people in my life who ask me for a coffee or whatever but don't have anything to talk about or 'do' if we meet ........... I feel sorry for them but that isn't the basis for a friendship.

South Yorkshire.

I'm not even a mum (stepmum) so haven't got a mums crowd, I'm a mature student but don't fit in with the students because I have stepkids and can't spend all weekend partying, I don't fit in with most people my age because they are usually not still students and usually not stepparents.

I am however, a woman, I like normal nice things, and am tired of sitting in my bloody flat!

Ahem.

I have been to some groups (I even made a group myself) but my studies send me to different parts of the county every 6 weeks or so, so I can never commit for very long and it never seems to be long enough to form friendships that would continue outside of the group setting without, as you say, coming across weird and needy.

I miss the friends that you can just call up randomly and say "this is happening, want to come?". I have a feeling there must be others like me but it is finding them!

Have you posted on the local board for your area!

Join the Women's Institute. It's not all jam and Jerusalem these days....our local WI go on lots of nights out and organise fun days and have a whale of a time...they see concerts and go to gigs, cafes, bars and theatres as well as all the usual crafting and lectures. Our WI has an average age of 35-40.

Agree with MrsWinnibago - the WI is great .

Also, be open to people who are different ages/at different stages in their lives. I have friends from mid 20s to mid 90s - I am mid 50s. I can think of nothing worse than just mixing with people who are similar to me .

I'm in South Yorkshire love a girly shop round meadowhall;)

I will post on the local board - and try not to sound too pathetic.

I have just had a look at my local WI - they are at capacity for membership for 2014 but I am now on the waiting list for 2015!

Rag is right. I have a new friend who is only 26! I'm 42 almost.... would never have thought I'd have anything in common with someone so young but I do. She's a proper laugh and a neighbour!

You don't sound pathetic. It's just one of those life-stage things that can happen sometimes.

What about a book club?

South Yorkshire is pretty big.... I'm in Sheffield.
The gym is a cracking place to get chatting I've found.

OP I'm South Yorkshire too

Thanks everyone. To all you South Yorkshire ladies - I posted on the local Sheffield board to see if anyone likes the same kind of activities and would like to go together - if so drop me a PM!

I only go to pilates at the gym - but as soon as it finishes everyone just seems to dissipate and there's no chatting before / after (or during!). Perhaps pilates is the wrong kind of thing...

OP - I couldn't find your post in Local. I'm in Rotherham and also a mature student

Hey, I'm in West Yorkshire and am always up for making new friends, if you want to ever meet up PM me and we'll sort something out! . Glad people are responding OP, I know it can be hard at times but you'll find some friends and you're own little niche in time. Here if you ever feel lonely!.

OP, you say you have step kids so I am assuming you have a DH- are you getting enough support from him? Is he working particularly long hours if you feel you are sitting in alone and have nobody to go to things with? Or is it that you never do anything without the kids in tow? Your DH should be your friend as well as your partner, sounds like he may be forgetting that?

I am north derbyshire hun and in similar boat! pm me

Thanks everyone. My post is in the Sheffield forum (not the South Yorkshire one - perhaps should have put it in there...) - asking if anyone wants to do stuff together, probably better than just meeting for a random coffee but I might be wrong!

DP and I are long distance which accounts for the loneliness in the week, and makes it hard to commit to regular clubs/groups - there are things I would like to do at the weekend but weekends (at least every other weekend) are often spent all together because we don't see each other otherwise. That's why I particularly miss my friend who moved away - we would see each other just for the odd couple of hours once or twice a week, it didn't require a regular Saturday morning or anything!

Anyway thanks for your nice posts - I may have a case of the Bank holiday weekend blues (bloody dreary weather too) - perhaps returning to the daily grind tomorrow will perk me up!