Thank you for your kind replies. The v firm talk with dp happened - he feels like a worm, quite rightly & he has agreed to limit alcohol to a sociable pint or 2. The sleeping arrangements have been agreed upon - all going to be together in master bedroom (with little one in Moses basket before you all start writing in!). I have contacted GP surgery re risk of PND & some more support re emotional issues about my dad's alcoholism & death though alcoholism.
I will change my mumsnet ID to put the whole incident to bed & I hope to join in discussions in the future under a new ID that are positive & with me feeling more confident. Bless you all for your advice & good wishes