To think this is terrible

[Edenviolet]

For months and months I have been trying to arrange getting everything in place for dd2 starting reception as she has medical needs.

I have written to the school, sent in info packs, emailed and phoned. We have had a meeting and dds pre school have met with them to explain dds needs etc. they also did a learning journey and that contained info showing what learning stages dd is at and she is doing really well. Her problems are medical not learning related.
School have been reluctant to have training before she starts and I feel like I'm pestering them but I need to get it done.

They've kept refusing and instead sent me a transition book designed for children with SEN, I explained to them this was not relevant to dd yet they sent more info regarding transition for children with ASD. I don't understand why they are not listening to me and sending things for the wrong conditions.

Write to the HT and cc to the Govenors

I've spent this aft documenting all contact and failed attempts to arrange training etc as I don't think they are taking it seriously. I've printed out emails etc as I'm so annoyed.

Do you have letters ready from GP or consultant about your daughters specific needs?

What is it specifically they need to address and when do they need to do this by?

I don't think they actually start thinking seriously about reception intake until holidays start, I still haven't had a start date (traditional staggered entry) or home visit date.

Its very bloody frustrating, especially when you're doing all the pushing.

Is your daughter at nursery?

Yes they have been given all info and have agreed a 1:1 for her but have not done all the necessary training despite me begging

And sending info that is not relevant to her just shows they are not taking any notice of me

Oh dear. Do you have a parent partnership organisation you can contact locally? Does the school have a good reputation for SN (I know your dd has medical needs rather than SN, but how they deal with other special needs will give you an idea).

Not sure, they were ok with my older two dcs but dd2 has more complex problems.

I just can't believe how difficult they are making it I have not even met dds 1:1 yet and they are not doing training before she starts so I'm having to support her in class initially

We had something similar, the school had letters from DD's consultant and info from me, they reassured me all would be well, then ignored it all! We changed schools and all was well :)

Can you contacted school nurse directly to sort things?

DS is brittle asthmatic and thankfully the school have been great - I have met with the school nurse and class teacher and all the staff in foundation stage (8 of them in total) have had training specific to DS and we have a care plan in place which is pretty much everything I said he needed (even down to the locations medication is stored)

Is there time between the rest of the school going back and her starting for the staff to be trained? Or at least her 1-1 to be trained?

They sent two staff to one training day in June but then said neither of them will be working with dd at all???!!!
Been asking to go in to do training as there's so much for them to learn and they ignored me, I asked can I go in before her official start date so that from day 1 she can be supported by her 1:1 rather than me but apparently their training days are already arranged.

I would be cautious of going in too much to help her - you don't want them to become reliant on you doing that (although of course you will if needed) - could you tell them you are delaying her start until the training is done? Or would that cause more problems than it solves?

I probably should do that. I just wanted so desperately for it to be done properly and for her to be the 'same' as other children and have her first day when she's meant to. I don't mind showing them how to do things but supporting her too much myself will lead to her getting used to me being there and I don't want her then having trouble settling

I do agree about being careful they don't become reliant on you. This happened with a friend whose ds developed additional mental health needs (not learning needs so didn't come under the correct "umbrella") It ended in the school never getting support in place and friend having to take a career break

Many children start at different times throughout the year and it doesn't seem to have a massive effect when they are young so, although I can understand why you want her to start on time, it's certainly something that's worth considering. What have the LA said?

LA have not been involved much except for when I tried to get dd a statement

I had a thread about this (or did I hijack someone elses? ) but it was under an old name so I can't link without outting myself.

Is it ok to PM you a couple of thoughts?

Have you spoken directly with the school nurse? They may be able to help

I've spoken to the current ht, senco, school nurse, receptionist and welfare room ladies. Nobody can/will help

If you have to do it, are they going to pay you at least minimum wage? I'd be mighty pissed off.

Can someone from her current medical team kick some arse for you?

Not all schools are equal, especially where children who are different are concerned. There are schools out there that are wonderful though!

Dad's consultant and nurse have been brilliant. They offered additional training on any fri at hosp (they don't do school visits are quite far away) but senco said it was too expensive and unfair to take resources away from other children in order to attend.
Nurse wrote letters confirming I should be allowed to do training at the school which they refuse to arrange with me before dd starts, the consultant wrote a two page letter detailing everything and how important it was but they said it wasn't enough so hosp emailed a detailed care plan. Still nothing.

There's a half day training they will go to in sep but they need more than that, practical training, to meet dd, to go through things and to have training that isn't covered by the refresher day (other staff went on the original training and its different people going on the half day)

The final straw has just been them sending material designed for children with completely different issues to the ones dd has. They have not listened to a word I've said.

Dds not dads !

And this will sound really really selfish as its dd going through all this not me but I want to be worrying about things like can I get her the right lunchbox, where can I get her hair bands in the school colours, will she cry and miss me or settle in quickly, will she make friends quickly not are the school trained to be able to keep dd alive.

I get the feeling they think I'll be there from the 8th anyway so why not do on the job training rather than have time set aside for training days beforehand when they could be doing something else that they obviously honk is much more important. I'm so sick of this that I feel like saying sod it she's not coming and to give the place up as clearly I'm a nuisance and dd is a massive inconvenience and they can't even be arsed to read anything or listen to me as they don't even have a grasp of what her problems actually are.

Think not honk damn this ipad

That doesn't sound selfish. All you want to be able to do is know your daughter will be safe and secure at school without needing you there which would change the dynamics of things no matter how much you try not to.

Its a worrying enough time as it is, even moreso when you have a child with additional needs. You shouldn't need to be fighting to get them to take the situation seriously.

Good luck, I hope you manage to find a solution which means you can relax a bit and she can start school with her peers