to think this is beyond vile and"young and thoughtless" just doesnt cut it

[WhatsMyAgeAgain]

SIL, about 22yo. Apparently always talks before thinking

DH and I live in a different country to most of his family.

SIL sent him a bbm. It was a pic of a man who had been shot, dead, on the street (I haven't seen, don't want to see)

The man was an old school friend/ acquaintance of DH.

He replied along the lines of _ please don't send me pictures like that.

She replied that she just wanted DH to see that the face was that of "Bill"

AIBU to think Wtf!? Who does that? I tried to get more info out of DH, he said she has the stomach for that kind of thing. I said it's not about that, the guy's friends and family will no doubt see this. Bit of respect for the dead? He says she's young and thoughtless.

I just don't know what to think. It's sick.

AIBU? Is this as sick and twisted as I think it is? She's not a child, so I really don't know what possessed her to send it.

She's not 'young and thoughtless', that's an insult to anyone under 22. She's just thoughtless and a twat.

I'm 23 and wouldn't dream of doing that. She's just a nob.

She sounds like she has some problem understanding normal social behaviour. I don't think it's an age thing.

Does she live somewhere where 'shot dead in the street' is a commonplace occurence?

Is she inured/traumatised/acclimatized to awful things?

She doesn't sound quite 'right'.

Either that or she's toxic.

Why couldn't she call with the sad news of Bill? Why send a photo?

Arsenic. It's certainly not commonplace but gun crime is a lot higher than UK.. She has no life experience in this area. She has a strong stomach and wants to train to do autopsies.

She is young and she is thoughtless. one day she'll be old and she'll still be thoughtless.

I don't think age is ever an excuse for people's actions. I've experienced a lot of discrimination from older people and the excuse tends to be "it wasn't like that when I was young." but if you don't call them out either my older discriminatory people or your young SIL how do they learn to stop hurting people?

That's so insensitive and I wonder whether this is a shock reaction. Just gruesome and so unnecessary.

I really hope your DH is ok. Also maybe he felt a bit defensive of his sisters actions whilst knowing that it was a terrible thing to do

Good grief what a way to inform someone about a death of a friend. "Ooh look bro, your friend's been shot. Here, take a look."

SIL may have a cast iron stomach and want to train in forensics but she's going to need too develop some empathy and common sense if she's ever to do that.

Your poor DH. What a horrible thing for anyone to receive

How odd.

When I read your title as 'young and thoughtless' I thought it was going to be about a 17-18 year old- not a 22 year old grown woman! Something not quite right there, at 22 I had a child, a house, a full time job and in a steady relationship. I didn't go round snapping pictures of dead people

She wants to train in forensics? With that attitude?

I was a mortuary technician/pathologist's assistant in several police and hospital mortuaries. I can assure you, people with her vile and disrespectful attitude get nowhere.

She's trying to look tough and unshockable. She wouldn't last a day when faced with it for real.

She's not wired up properly to send pictures of dead men! Did I get that right?

My DBIL put up a load of 'these men killed soldier rigby.....do you want them in your country?' English defence league shit so I messaged and explained nicely why he was hidden from my fb page.

That's just not normal behaviour at all.