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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you to settle an argument about birthday/Christmas cards etc?

32 replies

Pyjamaramadrama · 21/07/2014 19:11

Is it weird to put your partners name on a mum, dad, brother or sister card.

So say I'm getting my dad a birthday card, is it weird to put my dp/dh and possibly my children's name on it? Or should we all get separate cards with the appropriate relation on?

Also is it weird to send a wedding card to your brother/sister as opposed to the bride and groom?

OP posts:
makeminea6x · 21/07/2014 19:15

Birthday card would always put all of us on. Waste of money to buy one each!

Not sure what you mean about the wedding card? If my sister was getting married I would send the card from us all to both her and her spouse.

ClashCityRocker · 21/07/2014 19:15

We always put both names on when we bother getting cards

Tends to be how it works for both mine and DHs family. Kids often do a separate card for immediate relations (mum, dad, gran, grandad) but a family card for everyone else.

A wedding card should be sent to both, I think. I did misread that as for your brother and sister, but that would be just weird.

Original poster
Pyjamaramadrama · 21/07/2014 19:19

Dps dads birthday card on the table (which I chose), a dad card, I asked if he was going to stick my name on it and he said that would be odd, as it's a dad card.

He also tried to find a 'sister' wedding card when his sister got married, I told him that I don't think they exist and that any card should be to the bride and groom, he thought I was wrong and he should get a sister one.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pyjamaramadrama · 21/07/2014 19:21

I'm not even going to bother showing him the thread but I need to know if I'm being odd or if it's one of his funny ways.

OP posts:
scandichick · 21/07/2014 19:22

I wouldn't get a card addressed to 'mum' and sign with my name to my MIL, no.

Always get generic cards saying 'happy birthday' or what have you, saves getting separate cards.

LittleBearPad · 21/07/2014 19:22

Hallmark must love him. All these very specific cards and I assume you now have to get your FIL the appropriate card.

Other than Mother/father day cards we include all of us on a card.

ilovepowerhoop · 21/07/2014 19:22

We always just stick everyones name on the card e.g. I got my brother one that said brother but signed it from me, dh and the 2 kids.

londonrach · 21/07/2014 19:24

You still go Christmas cards...only for the oldies.... For birthday pre married put db name.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 21/07/2014 19:25

I generally put all our names on all cards, but for birthdays only do so if all of us know the person, so might not for a work colleague.

We stick to one card from all of us to everyone in one household at Christmas otherwise it would be impossibly complicated.

littlewhitebag · 21/07/2014 19:28

In this house i buy one card and put all names on it, including the dog and DD1's boyfriend if relevant!

Sister cards for a wedding is hilarious. Of course it is one card for the bride and groom. They are getting married - you know - joined together in holy whatsit! Your DH is a strange one.

HecatePropylaea · 21/07/2014 19:29

Nah, one card from all of us.

I don't think you really need to buy the specific ones. Just a nice picture will do.

Hallmark make enough money as it is without buying into all their crap about specific cards.

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 21/07/2014 19:34

I do birthday cards and also Father's Day & Mother's Day cards from me and my OH, and then a relationship-appropriate one from DD (unless it's a member of extended family, in which case it's one card from all of us).

As for the wedding card dilemna... well if it isn't your brother/sister getting married, then yes, you'd be weird to send the card to them instead of the bride and groom.

If your brother/sister is the groom/bride, I'd send a 'bride and groom' card.

HauntedNoddyCar · 21/07/2014 19:34

He has a different approach to the norm I think it's fair to say.

firesidechat · 21/07/2014 19:43

When we send Christmas and birthday cards they come from all of us.

I'm fairly sure that when my daughter got married we gave them a bride and groom card. I've never seen a sister wedding card.

I think your partner has an "alternative" approach to cards. It's quite sweet really. If you don't have to live with him.

NellyNoodle1 · 21/07/2014 20:15

We always just get the relation card and put both of us on (and the dog normally). Would never occur to me that I couldn't put my name on a sister card as technically she is my SIL?

When the little one arrives I will probably get a card from him but only as it give people a buzz to have their first 'nanny' 'auntie' card etc.

My DP even makes me signs my own name on cards to his family and sulks if I put his on. Then again we had WW3 at Christmas as someone else had put the angel he had made on top of his mum's tree. He's 30.

TidyDancer · 21/07/2014 20:22

If you're married or in a long term/serious relationship then I think it's totally appropriate to put both names in a dad card. I might get a different one for the DCs as the enjoy choosing their own.

Wedding card should definitely be to both the bride and groom.

kinkyfuckery · 21/07/2014 20:25

I tend to buy different cards from the kids, but I like giving cards.
I would get a 'sister' wedding card if I could, but would give general B&G if needed.
I don't have a partner, but would put his name on cards from me (if it were serious/living together)

CointreauVersial · 21/07/2014 20:25

Relation cards "To Dad", "To a Dear Sister" etc. are unspeakably naff (imho).

bigTillyMint · 21/07/2014 20:29

CV, MIL specialises in themGrin

I put all our names in all cards. But I only send birthday cards to a select few and only Christmas cards to the oldies now.

PhaedraIsMyName · 21/07/2014 21:30

I would never buy a person specific card in the first place but I'd think it extremely odd to add my husband's name to my brother's or my nephew's or my late mother's birthday card.

I'd also think it very odd for me to sign a birthday card for any of his family (if he sends any, no idea if he does).

fluffyraggies · 21/07/2014 22:15

I always put my DHs name on cards sent to my mum from me because they are from us. He puts my name on cards to his brother, for eg., as well as his own because it's from both of us.

Sometimes we send 'proper' Mum, Dad, Brother, Sister cards, sometimes we don't. I think it's usually to the older members of the family when we do. Younger ones get jokey unspecific cards.

Cards sent on a wedding day are always to the 'bride and groom'. Why on earth would you send a card specifically to your sister on her wedding day and not to her husband to be also?? How odd! (Unless he hates the HTB?!) It's their joint day, so joint card.

DustyCropHopper · 21/07/2014 22:18

I get Mum/dad/brother whatever for both sides and sign it from us both (and the children).

sanfairyanne · 21/07/2014 22:18

if it said 'mum' or whatever, then i would only sign if she was my mum
which is why 'picture' cards with no writing on are so handy Grin

BlackeyedSusan · 21/07/2014 22:22

ah well, if he is only putting his name on, then he should do the buuying and organising then.

FunkyBoldRibena · 21/07/2014 22:24

Right. Put your 'dad' birthday card away and let him crack on with it then.