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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

to have laughed my head off at this?

23 replies

Bogeyface · 30/06/2014 00:02

Waiting for washer to finish as I forgot to do the school uniform earlier, listening to iTunes and MNing. TV left on. I got up to see how long the washer had to go and there was a Police, Chavs, Speeders type thing on TV.

Cop (on top of villain) - have you got anything on you that you shouldnt have?

Villain - Err....the police?!

He had been caught and floored but he still had his sense of humour. AIBU to have been impressed at his ability to trot out a snappy come back despite the situation? I laughed like a drain!

OP posts:

Mrsjayy · 30/06/2014 00:07

[Grin] I was watching a 999 programme drunk wonan got arrested for giving blow jobs under a pier, officer said, blanckpool is a family resort, woman said no its a shithole I laughed for ages

Mrsjayy · 30/06/2014 00:08

Och fail

BigArea · 30/06/2014 00:08

ROFL at both of those (I know I'm on MN but ROFL is so easy to type!)

Original poster

Bogeyface · 30/06/2014 00:10

I should say that I have no idea what he did wrong!

Mrs I saw that!!! I hate these programmes but H loves them and we both roared when we heard that! We have been to Blackpool and both felt that she was right :o

OP posts:

Mrsjayy · 30/06/2014 00:17

It was so funny she was pissed but so quick

Original poster

Bogeyface · 30/06/2014 00:21

I cant help feeling that a snappy comeback should count in court :o

OP posts:

Mrsjayy · 30/06/2014 00:23

If its funny you are not in trouble is my rule

caramelwaffle · 30/06/2014 00:24

"...the police..."

wafflyversatile · 30/06/2014 00:26

Excellent.

There was a police newbies programme on set in my home time. They seemed to spend most of their time stopping men from wandering around with their 'breeks' round their ankles for one reason or another. 'Me breeks are falling down! Let us go. I need to pull my breeks up'. then he pissed in the back of the police van on the way to the station.

EatShitDerek · 30/06/2014 00:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

caramelwaffle · 30/06/2014 00:29

Mrsjayy · 30/06/2014 00:32

Oh yes I saw that eejit

Original poster

Bogeyface · 30/06/2014 00:32

eatshit that is brilliant! :o

OP posts:

Original poster

Bogeyface · 30/06/2014 00:33

If its funny you are not in trouble is my rule

This!

OP posts:

EatShitDerek · 30/06/2014 00:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Bogeyface · 30/06/2014 00:40

:o I would say the dog!

OP posts:

NeedsAsockamnesty · 30/06/2014 00:50

Many years ago when I worked for the YOT a youngster I was at court with on being asked if he had anything to say said

"Beam me up Scotty" in a dead pan voice. I snorted out loud

Thumbwitch · 30/06/2014 04:13

My favourite smart comeback is from this story - I don't know whether or not it's true, I was told it as a true story but who knows:

A student was waiting in line to be interviewed for his place at Cambridge. As the other students were coming out they looked a bit shaken and one told him that they were giving the option of answering 3 hard questions or 1 really hard question. So when this student went in, he chose the 1 really hard question.
The interviewers asked him "Which came first, the chicken or the egg?"
He thought for a minute and then said "The egg".
The interviewers then said "Why?"
And his comeback was...

"You said only one really hard question!"

He got a place.

sashh · 30/06/2014 06:21

The guy who taught me to ride a motorbike was once caught speeding on his bike and was asked if he had a reason for going so fast.

My wife is in labour and I'm taking her to hospital
But you are riding solo
Oh shit, she must have fallen off

Luggagecarousel · 30/06/2014 07:36

I saw a police fly on the wall programme once where a guy in a car was stopped, he and his passenger were searched, and some time later, after standing at the side of the road for some time, they were told their car was being impounded.

The driver was asked if there was anything in the car he wanted to "come clean" about before it was taken away and searched.

"yeah" he said "my mate is in the boot", and he was.....

cashmiriana · 30/06/2014 08:58

I cant help feeling that a snappy comeback should count in court

I was once in court where a barrister was outlining the facts of the case to the judge prior to sentencing. When she finished, the judge said very sternly, "I think you have missed out the most important detail. When Mr X was arrested, a police officer asked him if he had been drinking, and his response was, 'No mate, I'm as sober as a judge'. "

Mrsjayy · 30/06/2014 09:10

Beam me up scotty

ThirdPoliceman · 30/06/2014 11:15

My Uncle Paddy (God rest his soul) was a bit of a wag as well as a crap driver.

He was stopped by the Gardai driving on a quiet country road. The Gard asked him did he realise he was doing 80mph rather than the allowed 40mph. He then asked the Gard was he serious as he never got more than 60mph even when he floored it on this stretch of road. The Gard assured him he was clocked at 80, so Uncle Paddy whistled (in an impressed sort of way) and said well in that case he was keeping the car and not trading it in for a faster model.

They then chatted about cars and engines and performance etc before the Gard said he had to get on, arrests won't make themselves don't ya know, good luck and you know yourself. He drove off leaving the Uncle to get home with no ticket for speeding. Result.

Another time, Uncle P was driving and badly trying to negotiate a roundabout. He was in the wrong lane and cut across another driver who blared his horn and flashed his lights. My Aunt asked why had he been flashed. Uncle Paddy said he thought he knew him....

Another story (sorry, I seem to be on a roll) about a neighbour. He was a notorious drink driver and was stopped coming home from the pub by the Gardai. He admitted not only was there drink taken but he was stocious drunk. The Gard asked him to blow into the bag and he refused asking the Gard, "Are you calling me a liar? Of course I'm drunk" I do believe he ended up in prison....

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