To be pissed at nursery

[TerrifiedMothertobe]

We are potty training at the moment and day 6 in we are doing really well. Ds1 asks for a wee at home, has done most no 2's on potty, we have had two accidents since Friday at home.

Tonigh DH picked him up from nursery and he had gone through 6 changes of clothes.

They say he just misses when they take him for a pee, but surely 6 times is ridiculous.

I am pretty upset about it as even his shoes smell of wee and 6 changes seems incredibly excessive.

They have a bit of a staff issue at the moment, as they frequently do so the owner is running his room.

I think they aren't taking him often enough and that he probably isn't missing the loo. But even if he is missing the loo, surely they should have helped him out and avoided 6 wet changes?

I read your title thinking 'I hope she means pissed off, not actually pissed'

I agree 6 changes is excessive - are you sure he's ready?

Day 6 is too soon. How many of those days did he have at nursery. It just sounds as if he isn't ready.

I was also going to say that a pub would be a far more appropriate establishment to be pissed at.

6 changes does seem rather excessive. Maybe it's the different environment? Do you ask him whether he needs to go a lot during the day?

He's had 3 dry days at nursery....

It's very different one to one at home where you can focus almost exclusively on potty training to being one of a group of toddlers at nursery with lots do exciting things to do. I would go for pull ups for nursery for a few weeks personally.

Pissed for pissed off is the American form. I once heard a New York lawyer (in the elevator lift in the WTC, alas) say that she had gotten really pissed with the judge yesterday and I suppose I looked startled because I had to explain the difference!

Send him in in crocs - easy to wash.

I think you need to ask to meet with key worker to discuss approach - they need to support his training.

I think that's a bit odd because surely it's more work for them to change him than take him to the toilet. When my daughter was potty training and having frequent accidents, they took her to the toilet every 15 minutes at nursery and then gradually eased back to every 30 minutes and so on. Personally I would have preferred her to have more accidents, so that she could learn quicker, but they wanted to do that and I didn't argue.

The other thing is that sometimes children behave very differently in different environments. My DD was trained at nursery sooner than at home (despite my misgivings about their methods). I think it was the routine and the fact that all her friends were doing it.

So I think it does sound a bit like they're not very on the ball with it, but it might not be totally their fault.

I wouldn't go back to pull ups though - I feel like once you've started you've got to give it a good couple of weeks and then see how you've got on.

We're in the same boat, dd2 is fabulous at home but comes home from nursery with a bag of washing. I've put it down to the lack of 1:1 attention, getting distracted or 'lost' in play and them not prompting her as much as I do at home. I'm sure they don't believe me when I say she's dry at home

I'm just going to give it time, she'll get there. Have a chat to them about what you're doing at home but I don't think you can be 'pissed' at them when they've got a room full of children to look after.

Nursery is a totally different environment for toddlers who are potty training - there is loads to do; if they get too involved they may forget or wait too long, staff can try to remind/ask them but there may be several children training etc.

My son is dry day and night but often has accidents at nursery. He just gets distracted by what he is doing there. Also he is afraid to ask for the toilet.

Thanks for all your comments, I think I will have a chat as planned, but maybe be less annoyed!

They go through staff like hot dinners and his favourite carer has disappeared, I'm not sure if holiday or she's had enough.

We have been considering moving him, but that's another story.

Oh, we just found him trying to pee on the potty in the bathroom after being settled to sleep, so he knows what to do. I do totally accept that nursery is busier and he may get distracted. But .....

If there is a big turnover of staff, I would definitely be looking for other childcare. I moved my DD2 and now I am so happy with the nursery, I'm sad she's leaving to go to school. Always felt a bit uneasy at the other place where staff were always coming and going.

I always tell parents that being potty trained at home, where you may have potties in every room, where your child may be running around with no pants on, is very different to being toilet trained at nursery. There they are fully dressed, the toilet or potty is not in the same room they are. They have to recognise the feeling of needing a wee in time to register what it means, stop doing whatever they are doing, finding a grown up to take them to the toilet - or go to it themselves and they may be playing outside- get their trousers and pants down and make sure their wee goes in the toilet!
It's really not surprising that children have lots of accidents at nursery. Many of our children wet themselves in the bathroom because they just haven't quite got there in time. That's better than the little boy who wee'd from the top of the climbing frame though!