To not have an ashtray, since I don't smoke?

[newsecretidentity]

Cleaning up outside, I just noticed an empty flower pot with lots of fag ends in it. I know some of my visitors will nip outdoors for a crafty fag, and I guess that was the nearest place they could deposit their butts.

I felt a bit about it, though. Am I a shit hostess for not giving the smokers a suitable receptacle?

No, they are crap guests for putting fag ends in your flower pot. They should have asked you if you had anything you could use.

I have no ashtrays, but would be able to find something (old saucer, one of those "Gu" pudding glass pots I save cos I can't bear to chuck them).

Can't understand why smokers don't see that fag ends are rubbish the same as a crisp packet or sweet wrapper - would they put them in the flower pot???

Not at all. Ive been to plenty folks houses who never had an ashtray for me, i usually completely stub it out and chuck it in the bin (i make sure its completely out too, id be mortified if i started a fire) or flick it over t'fence

Good lord, not in my GU pots! I'm not that hospitable!

YANBU. Your guests should have asked.

Fag ends are a pet hate of mine. In my first house my neighbour chucked them onto my side path. didnt want them on her own path but fine on mine!

Also my friend's son throws his on their patio. I would kick his arse if he was mine.

I have no idea what my only smoker friend does with them but I never see any evidence she has smoked in the garden. I honestly don't think I could be friends with someone who wilfully littered my home. You'd never chuck a tea bag in someone's plant pots would you.

When I had builders in, they brought an ash tray and asked if it was ok to smoke.

Flick it over the fence vitoCorleone ? Is that better? Littering in their neighbour's garden or in their neighbourhood?

Can't bear fag butts everywhere. It is litter. Can't fathom why smokers think it's acceptable litter somehow.

Well at least they didn't come back inside and stub them out on your carpet

Seriously? What do you EXPECT them to do with their fag ends (since they are obviously going to carry on smoking)?

That was a joke, i put it in the bin.

We'll they could wAit til they go home?

Or ask fir something

oh. Sorry. Sense of humour fail (I plead tiredness due to being up all night with fractious one year old).

An empty baked bean tin would do, no need to poison the plants with fag ends.

I am glad they didn't put them out on my carpet, and I really don't mind them smoking outdoors. If they had asked for something, I probably would have panicked and opened a tin of peaches just so they could ash in the tin...

YANBU! They should have asked, surely???

When I bought my first place, my parents, who smoke like chimneys, bought me an ashtray so that when they came to visit, they could smoke. I don't smoke. Nor have I ever. They made this face and then when I told them they would be going outside. They told me they would smoke wherever they liked. I told them it was my flat. They said tough they are my parents and I do as they say. I was 24 at the time . In the three years I lived there, they visited three times (they lived 5 miles away!) just because of that.

As I am completley unbending on the smoking thing, they have learned to cope for a couple of hours, or go outside. Guess the fact that I don't have COPD (as DM does) makes my nonsense, no-smoking regime a teeny bit more attractive.

I smoke and I don't have an ashtray. I just put them out in the yard and sweep it every morning. Takes 2 minutes. If I had an ashtray, I'd be tempted to bring it inside when the kids weren't here

I advise guests to do the same, but if we're in having a drink and the kids are out for the night I use a dog food with a bit of water in the bottom and allow smoking inside.

If I'm at non smoking homes I run it under the outside tap or dip the end in a puddle then put it in the bin.

I had a friend who'd just chuck them on my lawn.

She's not invited around any more.

You're not a bad hostess. If there's no where to dispose of your fag ends then you either ask or don't smoke. You wouldn't have a poo in a flower pot if there was no toilet. You would wait.

Same difference.

My aunt carries her ashtray with her. It has a lid on it and she seals it up and puts it in her bag. She is old and posh.

it's like this but fancier

We do have an ashtray but only because H thought of it, as an ex smoker.

No you're NBU to have never thought about it. I think they were being good guests just cracking on and finding something suitable without putting you out.

I keep a clean jam jar on hand for smokers. It has a lid so it doesn't smell as much. When they're gone I dump out the ash and recycle it.

YANBU my mum smokes and drops hers in our flower beds, or she did until I asked her to pick them up.

I considered getting an outdoor ashtray or a pot that she could use but then I realised I didn't want to empty it so I'm not doing that! she said she was going to collect them later once she was sure they were out but forgot, told her to run future fag ends under outside tap and into outside bin.

YANBU. Absolutely not.

I only gave up a few months back, me and my husband smoked (outside) and we didn't have an ashtray, so definitely not something I would expect from a non-smoker.

I would always put mine out properly and put in an outside bin, both at home and when out and about.

Oh yuck, how vile.

My mum takes them all away with her, thank goodness, as I can't stand the smell of them in the bin either.(The bin doesn't usually smell too bad because all food waste gets recycled here, so only it's mainly non-recyclable plastic in there).