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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have taken DD to A+E?

49 replies

CeramicUnicorns · 04/06/2014 23:14

DD is 5yo and suddenly got really ill this afternoon. She had a temp of 39, headache, stomach pain, felt sick and she was really lethargic. Thought it was just a virus so gave her calpol and stuck her in front of the tv. Temp went down to 38 but she was shivering and saying she felt cold.
Then when I was putting her to bed she starting crying with stomach pain and said that the light hurt her eyes. I took her straight to A+E.
We had a 3 hr wait while she just lay in my lap and then suddenly she perked up and her temp seemed to have gone. 5 mins later we saw the dr who was very dismissive and gave me the impression that she thought I was a time waster and shouldn't have come to A+E.
I did explain about DD's earlier symptoms but she was such a different girl when the dr saw her, she was even giggling!
I just feel a bit shit now that I have wasted everyone's time and don't want the hospital to have given me a black mark as a hypochondriac or anything!
WIBU to take her straight to A+E?

OP posts:

LittleRedDinosaur · 04/06/2014 23:16

I think you were perfectly reasonable- children always do that in A&E (I used to work there). The doctor was an arse. Glad DD is feeling better

CorusKate · 04/06/2014 23:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty · 04/06/2014 23:19

You were not being unreasonable at all under those circumstances.

But I have to say I also understand how the Dr might have felt too.

In my local A&E you can regularly see people clogging up the waiting rooms with ailments that are clearly not emergencies...so it must be frustrating for the Drs too.

I'm glad your DD is feeling better and no, you won't get any kind of black mark

Needadvice5 · 04/06/2014 23:20

I'm an A+E sister and think you definitely did the right thing, it's amazing how they pick up whilst you wait but you might find she spikes a temp again during the night.

Hope you're both ok. ...

Bakersbum · 04/06/2014 23:20

Instead of taking a turn for the better, like she thankfully did, she could have easily taken a turn for the worse, then you would have been in the right place. You can only act on what was presenting at the time. So yanbu.

CheeryName · 04/06/2014 23:20

I took DS to A&E in the middle of the night when he was tiny, my friend came too as I was so worried, he really wasn't his usual self. He had... drumroll.... constipation!

Doctor was lovely about it though! Sorry yours wasn't and am glad your DD is ok.

Princessdeb · 04/06/2014 23:20

Dear OP,

You were absolutely not unreasonable. You had a child with some potential signs of serious illness. While the likelihood of it being life threatening was relatively small delays in seeking help when it is serious can lead to devastating results. You know your child best and know if something is seriously awry. We know that children's condition change very rapidly and they can go from seemingly being on deaths door to sitting up and playing in the blink of an eye. That does not mean you shouldn't act if you have concerns. The Dr was very unreasonable for making you doubt that you did the right thing. I hope your DD is feeling better now.

WorraLiberty · 04/06/2014 23:22

My friend waited nearly 5hrs in A&E with her 18 month old DD, who had a plastic bead stuck in her ear.

5 minutes before the Dr called them in, the bead managed to somehow dislodge itself and fall out.

She said she felt like "shoving the fucker back in there, just to save face!"

ICanSeeTheSun · 04/06/2014 23:24

Best to be safe.

I swear the waiting room has magical powers.

MrsMaturin · 04/06/2014 23:27

You were right to take her with those symptoms. It sounds like it was viral and her body worked out how to fight it whilst you waited but you were right to go and any doctor would rather see 100 kids like yours today than 1 whose parents wait too long to bring them in.
Feeling a bit daft at A&E is a parenting rite of passage. We picked dd2 up from nursery once and were told she had just had a minor bump to the head. 20 minutes later she was sick in Sainsburys. I panicked and insisted on taking her to A&E. The nurse we saw found her tonsils were a bit enlarged and no sign of concussion. He wrote she was 'sulking' on the paperwork which enraged me because she is not a sulky child. But meh - better safe ALWAYS than sorry.

BlackeyedSusan · 04/06/2014 23:27

dd sneezed out the apple pip on the way to the hospital. that is the only explanation for it not being there when the dr looked.

Amy106 · 04/06/2014 23:29

You absolutely did the right thing. I am just so sorry you were treated that way.

mindthegap79 · 04/06/2014 23:29

Yanbu. A friend of mine swears that the best way to bring a child's temperature down is to drive them to A&E at 1am.

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 04/06/2014 23:39

Been there, done that.
When DD was about 2 years old she started with a really high temperature of 41C, then she started with an odd high pitched cry, went really lethargic and floppy. We rushed her to A&E, where the tri-arge nurse was really worried and rushed her through to a cubical. The nurse came in and said she was worried about her breathing as it sounded to have a rattle. She sent us for an urgent x-ray as the Dr was busy with another child.
Then we waited for the Dr. Slowly DD sat up, noticed the toys in the corner... and was off playing. When the Dr came in she was laughing and giggling with the toys! Her temperature was back to normal, and there was no sign of the rattling breathing.
The Dr looked at the nurse who said "what? She looked really sick when she came in I promise!"
Luckily the Dr just shrugged and said "Glad she has improved!" Smiled at DD and sent us home.
DD perfected the act of making me look like a neurotic mother very early on!

Jollyphonics · 04/06/2014 23:42

All kids do that. It's what they do.

Bit just as an aside - unless your child has a particular reason for not having it, it's a good idea to always given nurofen as well as calpol, it's much better for temperatures.

Floralnomad · 04/06/2014 23:43

Perfectly reasonable ,but it would probably have been quicker to have seen the OOH GP.

bubalou · 04/06/2014 23:45

You sound like you did the right thing. My mum is a sister at an A+E department and trust me - compared to some people they deal with wasting time a genuinely concerned parent with a poorly child is not going to have them moaning.

Hope she feels better soon.

MrsMook · 04/06/2014 23:47

DS did a magic healing trick last year. He was 3m and wheezy and gasping for breath. I had to call a friend over to sit in with his brother as of course DS had chosen to do this the first time DH haf gone abroad leaving me with two. Took him to A&E, still gasps in the car seat. By triage, he was perking up. I ended up sitting around with an increasingly healthy baby who was full of charm and charisma by the time the Dr saw him. Better to be feeking a wally with a healthy recovered child, than suddenly having to call an ambulance because they deteriorated rapidly.

bubalou · 04/06/2014 23:48

I forgot to post - maybe an example will make you smile. Reads like a bad joke but 100% true.

Sister - what is the problem sir
Patient - I can't get an erection
Sister - ok how long has this been going on
Patient - about 3 months
Sister - ok and have you been to your doctor
Patient - no, but if you try and touch it then you can see if I can get one or not!

He waited 3 hours to ask that! Needless to say she declined.

Mrsfrumble · 05/06/2014 00:01

Not unreasonable. I wouldn't take any chances with a child who had a temperature and was complaining that the light hurt their eyes. That's a classic meningitis symptoms, isn't it?

You could have called NHS Direct (does that still exist?) but they probably would have directed you to A&E anyway in those circumstances. Once they even sent the ambulance to pick up little DS because the nurse on the phone was so alarmed by the sound of his wheezing. He had croup. I still felt daft at the hospital even though it wasn't me that panicked!

xihha · 05/06/2014 00:02

When I was little I was really accident prone and mum got fed up of taking me in with hurt ankles/wrists that stopped hurting the second we got to see the doctor so next time I fell off my bike she ignored my whinging, 3 days later we were at church and a nurse ordered mum to take me to the hospital, it turned out my arm was broken. i used it to guilt trip her for years. Point is its better to be embarrassed than to leave it when there really is something wrong.

unlucky83 · 05/06/2014 00:28

Same here (except to OOH GP not A&E). Five month old DD...max calpol, sponging etc and temp wouldn't go down, drowsy/floppy etc etc - really unwell.

Just me - airbag in front so DD in car seat in back, 11 mile trip I'd never done before on dark, twisty, no stopping country roads...petrified she was going to start fitting etc..arrived in town - so could stop, checked her temp - still sky high - took another 5 mins to find surgery got her out .....and it had gone..
Gp was really kind - said it happened all the time - I think by then I needed to see them more than she did (Valium?)- she was this a happy smiley contented baby and I was a shivering nervous wreck on the verge of tears....
(She also trapped her hand in the car door once - iced it etc, she couldn't bend her fingers, bruised and swollen - arrived at A&E 40 mins later (fed her first - hospital said that would be ok) - less swollen but she still couldn't bend them etc- 20 mins later she was on the rocking horse in the play area - holding on tight both hands!)

MexicanSpringtime · 05/06/2014 00:50

Glad she got better. There was so much meningitis around when my daughter was young, I often to here to a&e for a headache that I was concerned about. What can you? These are hard to identify illnesses where immediate treatment is important

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 05/06/2014 02:32

Kids do have a habit of doing this. Maybe she doesn't have much experience of dealing with children. IME most doctors do understand this.

Jollyphonics, I though the NICE guidance was not to routinely give paracetamol and ibuprofen together as antipyretics unless the child continued to be distressed or became distressed before the next dose of medication was due.

AElfgifu · 05/06/2014 02:49

YANBU, it was impossible to tell what was going to happen in your circumstances .

Doctor is obviously not a parent yet!

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