about sleeping arrangements (inlaw related)

[medic78]

Dh and I have a young toddler who co sleeps
At Christmas we stayed with inlaws for 2 nights pregnant sil stayed for 1. We were allocated room with 2 single beds as sil needs the double being pregnant. So I spent 2 nights squeezed into a single bed with toddler.
Other time on holiday with mil and fil. In laws had double and yet again I was squeezed in a caravan sized single with toddler.
Prepared to hear iabu but I can't help thinking it was a little thoughtless.
On both occasions I did try to get dd to sleep in travel cot but it just wasn't going to happen
Aibu

Why didn't you shove the beds together for the 1 night?

Never thought of that. Dooh. Probably could have for the 2 nights at Christmas. Think caravan beds were fixed.

It would have been the first thing we would have thought of when we had co-sleeping toddlers

The caravan thing, well I suppose that's a bit more complicated if you all paid the same amount for it.

Might have been better to go for a 3 bed or make a bed in the lounge maybe?

We used to let my parents have the double when we went on caravan hols because my Mum had arthritis. So I used to hire a bed guard or just make up beds in the lounge...which was far more comfy!

I co-slept in a single for about a year. Standard sized single with non-kicking toddler, if its pushed up against a wall = YABU that should be do-able for a night or two. I actually think you get more room in a single with one adult +1 than you would in a double with 2 adults +1.

Caravan sized single = YANBU but how long was the holiday, did you try to swap rooms after the first night and did they know she wouldn't stay in the cot? I think you would have been just as uncomfortable all in the double, unless one of you could have gone on the sofa etc!

Why would you go on holiday somewhere without an adequate bed? Choose different accommodation. 'No, PIL, I can't sleep in a single bed as there are two of us. Let's find somewhere with two double beds so we can all get some sleep.'

At their house, you can push two singles together, or you can buy a double air mattress for cheap and bring it with you. Let them know what your needs are and you might have them met. If mentioning it hasn't work, mention it more loudly and suggest solutions that work for you.

Move the beds if you can but I think YABU. A bit.

I wouldn't expect anyone to give up their bed for me so at their house, if they've only got single spare beds, that's what you get.

On the holiday - I take it it was booked and paid for by them? Surely if it was a joint decision/booking you'd have picked a more appropriate caravan? Again, their holiday, they get the best bed.

It's not so bad sharing a single. OH and I shared a single bed for 4 months and he is a big sporty type and I'm a chubby size 18. We were ok (but it was a relief to get a double at last). I used to take my son camping and if it was very cold I'd put him in my single sleeping bag with me, and his sleeping bag over us, to keep us warm. Like sardines but we slept ok. A few nights mild squash is nothing to fuss about.

Newname - you are comfortable at a size 18 with you dp in a single bed?

I co-sleep with my toddler ( for half the night, after she wakes up) and when she comes into my queen sized bed, dh gets out. Otherwise no one gets any sleep.

Yes, I would have pushed the beds together, next time, make sure there are proper beds before you commit to going on holiday with them.

Newname how did you manage that

Do your ILs know that your dd won't sleep in the travel cot? Are they falsely thinking that everybody is adequately bedded?

an old single bed is larger than a modern single. and a caravan single is smaller again

So what happens when the new baby arrives; the toddler will have to sleep on his own, surely? Surely! I just don't understand this co-sleeping.

What new baby? It's the SIL who's pregnant, not the OP.

Besides, I didn't get co-sleeping either, till we realised that it was the only way our DD was going to sleep. Until we tried it, she didn't sleep longer than an hour on her own (usually more like 30 minutes, or she woke as soon as you laid her down or stopped rocking the car seat or stopped patting her). We accidentally fell asleep with her in our bed, and she slept 4 hours. So that was it, we decided if we were so tired we could accidentally fall asleep like that, we'd better research and do it safely. The first night we decided to share a bed, she woke just 3 times.

Goblin. Space will be made or a bigger bed brought?

Co sleeping is normal not abnormal. Tell your inlaws that you can't sleep in a single with toddler. If spare double room not free can they recommend a B and b. Two singles together may work depending on room lay out.