To wonder if I'll become a better parent over time

[Coffeeinthepark]

I've got 3 kids, each 3 years apart. So, by the time I had DC3 (recently) I already had six years experience under my belt. I feel like I blunder daily with my 6 year old but I can't remember much detail from when he was 3 or new to compare my parenting then with his siblings' today

I've just starting reading a good parenting book and I'm having one of those 'I could follow all these suggestions and be brilliant' moments you tend to get with self improvement books.

So my question really is, did you become a better parent over time and why? Experience? Something you read? Will I be a better - wiser, calmer, cannier - parent to my youngest when she is 6?

I think when you are a parent with young children you seem to constantly beat yourself up about how good a parent you are. You look at friends, neighbours, read books and they all seem to do it better than you. But, at the end of the day you only learn parenting off your parents, unless you have some outside influence and you really have to find your own way. I think the majority of mums are better parents than they give themselves credit for. I know I was/am noticeably more relaxed and pick my battles better with my younger daughters than when I had my first daughter. I cringe when I think how when she was old enough to play out (on a very quiet estate) I limited her to between the two lamp posts outside our house! I think you learn to trust your instinct more. I wish I had done this when they were new born, instead of accepting the mantra of 'feed your child every 4 hours and put her in her cot in-between, don't sit and cuddle her, you will spoil her'. If my dc's ever have children I will be telling them to do whatever feels right to them.

Yes - mainly because you'll be too bloody knackered to sweat the small stuff, you'll know what needs dealing with and what you can let slide, what's normal service and what should give you cause to worry.