To ban DS from playing with soapy water?

[LadyFlumpalot]

He gets awful eczema which seems to be triggered by soap. My inlaws know this. They had him for the day at the weekend and when I picked him up he was soaked in soapy water (they hadn't even changed his top) and now his arms and torso are red raw again.

He enjoys playing in soapy water and I know they let him because it keeps him busy for hours.

Would I be unreasonable to just outright ban soapy water play? Also, how would you politely but firmly word such a ban?

Just take a picture and next time your leaving him there say oh and of course no soapy water play, I can't remember who had him this time cough but look at the state of him afterwards, it makes me so sad when people don't remember the effect it has on him sigh

Or are they likely to not get the hint?

Ahhh, taking a picture is a good idea, thank you both! I will have to be quite firm as they are both quite sedentary and even though they say they like having him, they like having him when he's being quiet and still.

Oooh that might be a good one quietbat or the oats in a sock.

Yanbu. I sent dd off to her grandparents complete with all kinds of creams and bandages for her raw hands. They then decided painting her nails was a good idea and managed to dribble the remover in the cracks .

Is there some sort of bubble bath that is suitable for his skin? If so, you could give them some to use next time, maybe?

I do think it's a good idea to take a photo of the damage that the soapy water did to him - hopefully they would be sufficiently shocked at what they've put him through, that they will steer well clear of soap in future.

I have to say that I find it really hard not to judge them harshly - they know he's allergic to the soap, but exposed him to it anyway - who does that to a child?

What is soapy water play - bubbles?

Is he ok with plain water, or would even that trigger skin issues?
Could you come up with an alternative, eg cornflour gloop / bubble machine where you don't touch the bubbles, you just pop them with a stick?

Me too CK. Images from it still pop into my head 20odd years later.

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Would this be a solution, he could play in soapy water with the knowledge it will be ok for his skin.

Also an apron.

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Do you not have a large sheet of sandpaper you could use to demonstrate the effects perhaps on their chests?

YANBU. I get eczema and it's awful. I find lush products are ok for my skin though, might be worth a try

You need to show them what it does to his sin. But also I think you need to take responsibility in recognising they aren't able to manage him for a long time and only send him for an hour or two.

Could he play in Aveeno? Or maybe water with food dye in? Perhaps a different sort of water play? My DS2 would spend hours making 'tea' with a proper china tea set. It was squash really but we drank it!

wow - I wish I had used the photo route to "train" my IL's when they used completely unsuitable things for DD's sensitive skin - what a great idea!

E45 actually do a child's bubble bath so maybe take them a bottle next time?

bathfoam

I suffer from eczema.

It's got a bit better as I have grown older but it still has to be managed. Like your son I would come back from family/friend visits sometimes with open sores due to well meaning but ultimately harmful suggestions (eg washing a top in a bio powder that wasn't even dirty).

I have to use rubber gloves to wash up - washing up liquid is too harsh.

I'd be reluctant to stop the bubble play but look at products you can supply. There are a good few around to try.

My biggest breakthrough was discovering Dermarest. Sadly you can't get it in the UK (you can buy on Amazon but have to pay US shipping). Since using it my attacks are less frequent and less severe - note: triggers are different so it might not be as revolutionary for your son as me, but perhaps worth a go.

The eczema cream works really well for me (and no steroids - an end to betnovate for me!) and I find the psoriasis lathering shampoo though not specific to eczema has pretty much eradicated my scalp issues and would likely be a safe source of "bubble fun".

You can buy it over the counter in the US - when I travel for work I stock up!