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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think a play date is 3/4 hours not 7 hours??

23 replies

scrummummy · 15/04/2014 19:22

we arranged a play date for dd2 with one of her friends from reception.

my DH is currently sahd so offered a play date . all arranged so I asked this morning before going to work when is x coming he said just before 9 . (?)
I thought OK but early when are they staying till he said about 1. ? .
I thought that's a bloody long play date what the hell are you going to talk about!!
no she was going to leave him and come back
maybe I'm wrong but I wouldn't leave a 4 year old with someone I don't know ( we only joined the school 6 weeks ago) and if I had a play date I'd stay.

she turned up at 4 (!!) she arrived apologised for being a bit late as her shift was extended. she then asked if my dd2 wanted another play date at our house next week!! cheeky fucker!

really if she had been honest and said she was working and could my DH look after him then we would have said yes.
so Aibu to think she was a cheeky fucker?

anyway my DH gave him breakfast and lunch. afterwards took them to local city farm and park.
x's mum came to collect him at 4 Shock Shock Shock ffs apparently she had been at work and we had been used as childcare.

she asked DH if he wanted a play date next week he said he'd have to ask me. wtf!!

so

OP posts:
Original poster
scrummummy · 15/04/2014 19:24

sorry phone doubled up on stuff

OP posts:
Lilaclily · 15/04/2014 19:26

I'd have said 'which day can you have my ds'?

Hissy · 15/04/2014 19:28

You've been had there! Bet you she's got form for that too!

You're new blood, so she's gone straight for you. If she speaks to you again tell her that you don't appreciate being used as free childcare, and that you'd have liked her to have been honest upfront.

RuthlessBaggage · 15/04/2014 19:28

Yeah, she knew damn well she needed the equivalent of a full school day. Can't she afford holiday club like everyone else has to?

EverythingIsAwesome · 15/04/2014 19:29

Cheeky fecker indeed!

Inertia · 15/04/2014 19:29

Tell her it sounds great, you'll drop your Dc at her house at 9 and collect at 4.

rollonthesummer · 15/04/2014 19:30

Say, lovely-I'll stop DS off next Tuesday at 9am!

WhoAteAllTheCremeEggs · 15/04/2014 19:30

Not on using you as childcare at all, but I would leave a reception child on a playdate. If it were a new friend I would probably stay for a cuppa and chip off after maybe half hour.
Tbh I love playdates as the host anyway because dc amuse each other, more kids is less kids at that age its easier than having 4 year old alone IMO.

smearedinfood · 15/04/2014 19:36

The cheek!

Aeroflotgirl · 15/04/2014 19:52

Wtf! Yes you've been used as childcare as she has no one. Cheeky fecker. Would say yes I will drop ds at 9 and collect at 4 from yours, ok! Never again!

Original poster
scrummummy · 15/04/2014 19:58

I know we were under the impression that her DH would be coming round as my DH sees him most mornings at school. my DH thought there would be a chat/coffee drinking with him !

OP posts:
drinkingtea · 15/04/2014 19:59

That is incredibly cheeky! My 8 year old's friends do come for whole says, but they are no trouble and I always find more kids easier than less, as they entertain each other (I would also drop off a 4 year old if they were happy with that - Dd was but DS wasn't). However the key "sin" is turning up 3 hours late!!!! Absolutely not on! It alsp meant presumably the last 3 hours were tense as nothing could ne started and your DH couldn't take the kids to a park or anything, as he thought the mum would turn up at the door any moment! Unsettling for the kuds too. Its not the length or the drop off but the deceit/ extreme lateness...

drinkingtea · 15/04/2014 20:00
  • days not says
HaroldLloyd · 15/04/2014 20:01

Bloody hell, that's some cheek!

DoJo · 15/04/2014 20:02

Would a reciprocal arrangement actually work for you? If so, then maybe you could say to her something like 'It must be hard to organise childcare if your shifts can change at such short notice - maybe we can work something out so that we can take it in turns to have the kids in the holidays.'

Original poster
scrummummy · 15/04/2014 20:12

dojo not really as we have 5 and 8 year olds. I guess the main gripe is we didn't know we were going to be childcare.

OP posts:
WitchWay · 15/04/2014 20:16

I've swapped childcare with friends on occasion - agree the problem here is that you weren't asked & given the chance to say No.

Rupertandfifi · 15/04/2014 20:26

Swapping childcare arrangements gets a big thumbs up from me. I don't mind having children for full days whilst parents are working BUT honesty is definitely the best policy for everyone.
I'd text one of the dp and say either x day or y day are best next week, which is best for them to have your dc.

ENormaSnob · 15/04/2014 20:35

Cheeky twat.

mimishimmi · 16/04/2014 00:02

Yep,I've been posting a lot about this lately too. I bet she dropped heavy hints at the school gate, implied it would be great for DH and yours to have a chat, and then your DH offered the playdate. I don't take these hints anymore Wink.

bochead · 16/04/2014 01:59

Did she not phone at 1 to say she'd been delayed? I would imagine most for year olds would be getting worried if a parent was 3 hours later than expected and need some reassurance, which is hard to give if you are all on tenderhooks waiting for the doorbell at any moment.

Tbh I'd be wondering about phoning the local A&E to see if the Mum had been in a serious accident if I were left hanging that long without any word!

I hope the kids aren't besties, as my inclination would be to want to keep my distance from her after that tbh.

redskyatnight · 16/04/2014 08:52

I think a 7 hour play date is perfectly fine.
I think leaving a Reception age child is perfectly fine.

I think using you for a whole day's childcare without making it clear in advance is not remotely anywhere close to fine.

However, you've not mentioned how DH found the day and whether he was bothered about it. You seem more concerned than him!

MomOfTwoGirls2 · 16/04/2014 09:27

I regularly do 7+ hour play dates. But at my invitation.
This sounds a bit sneaky.

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