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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be bothered by this?

30 replies

ReallyNotSureAboutThisAtAll · 30/03/2014 13:53

I have NC just in case. Really prepared to be told I am being unreasonable. Here's the thing. I made a friend almost 2 years ago, she moved to my hometown and I went out of my way to help her out with various issues. A friendship blossomed, we've been out for meals, kids have played together, the usual.

He DS plays guitar and so does mine. Her son's guitar teacher was doing a gig at a local venue and she told me that she had 4 tickets the morning of the actual event. She was hoping to find 2 people who would want to go with them but hadn't found any, so I said I'd think about it.

I had a wisdom tooth removed on Friday so I didn't feel up to the gig so I asked my friend if she minded my husband going with DS instead, she said absolutely not.

Anyway, what happened is that my friend, having got these 4 tickets free, actually sold 2 of them to my husband, and not even cheaper, but the same price that they cost everybody else. In addition my DH also bought a round of drinks for everyone but my friend didn't.

I'm bothered by this but I'm not sure I should be.

OP posts:
TipsyandTom · 30/03/2014 13:56

She sounds ungenerous. That would bother me. YANBU.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 30/03/2014 13:57

Are you sure she got them free? Was your DH expecting to pay?

Original poster
ReallyNotSureAboutThisAtAll · 30/03/2014 14:00

See that's the thing. Over the phone I asked her how much are the tickets? She said x and x. But I knew she had been given them by the guitar teacher. They weren't even 4 seats together which doesn't make sense when you buy 4 tickets, you'd get them all together. Then my DH met with her and asked, how much do I owe you, she started saying that she hadn't actually paid for the tickets but my DH was already flashing the notes, so she stopped herself and took the money.

OP posts:
CeliaFate · 30/03/2014 14:05

If she got them for free then yadnbu.
To try and make a profit from your friends is really crappy.

WorraLiberty · 30/03/2014 14:10

YANBU she sounds like a cheeky mare to accept the money

However, your DH should have put his money away when she told him she got them for free and just bought the drinks.

blanchedeveraux · 30/03/2014 14:57

YANBU. That's cheeky and grabby.

BillyBanter · 30/03/2014 15:19

Maybe she didn't get them for free just said she did to make the offer to you more appealing but then when your DH clearly had the money and was willing to hand it over she let him?

Original poster
ReallyNotSureAboutThisAtAll · 30/03/2014 18:40

Hmmm Billy no, I really don't think so...Sad

Would you say anything or let it slide?

OP posts:
OwlCapone · 30/03/2014 18:48

Over the phone I asked her how much are the tickets? She said x and x.

So she told you the cost up front. Confused

Finola1step · 30/03/2014 19:23

If she got the tickets free but then charged your DH for them then yes, she is grabby to make a profit out him.

But you had asked her on the phone re the cost of the tickets. If they were free, she should have told you then.

I wouldn't say anything but would be very clear in the future wrt to costs for trips out, meals etc.

Original poster
ReallyNotSureAboutThisAtAll · 30/03/2014 19:33

Yes she did tell me the cost of the tickets so I just assumed that's what she paid for them; she didn't tell me that she had got those tickets for free from the guitar teacher so by taking the money from my DH she made some profit as she charged him for something that cost her nothing.

OP posts:
IDugUpADiamond · 30/03/2014 19:34

That would upset me a lot so YANBU.

OwlCapone · 30/03/2014 19:47

But I knew she had been given them by the guitar teacher.

But you said you knew. I don't understand.

NewtRipley · 30/03/2014 19:59

I am also confused.

MrsCampbellBlack · 30/03/2014 20:01

Are you absolutely sure she got the tickets for free?

Original poster
ReallyNotSureAboutThisAtAll · 30/03/2014 20:13

Sorry I sound confusing. I don't know that the tickets were given to her for free. This is what has lead me to think so:

  1. She told me her DS's guitar teacher had given her 4 tickets.
  1. When my DH and DS got to the venue, my DH asked her 'how much do I owe you' and (this is according to DH, I wasn't there) she started explaining how she hadn't paid for the tickets, but as soon as she saw the money, she stopped talking and took it.
  1. The four of them (my friend, her DS, my DH and our DS) weren't even seated together. I think that if you buy 4 tickets you'd want them to be together. If they're free you take what you're given.
OP posts:
Original poster
ReallyNotSureAboutThisAtAll · 30/03/2014 20:15

I guess what some of you are trying to tell me is that I should give her the benefit of the doubt and I agree, I just can't help having a bad taste in my mouth about this.

OP posts:
TittyMcFartyFlaps · 30/03/2014 20:16

How did your DH know how much to pay if she stopped talking mid sentence.?
If you knew before DH went that she didn't pay for them then you should have told him.

feathermucker · 30/03/2014 20:18

If she told you over the phone how much they were, then why did your DH ask her the price?!

If you knew she had gotten them for free, did you not communicate this to your husband?

feathermucker · 30/03/2014 20:22

Hmm Confused

She told you she'd been given the tickets, then she told you how much they were? Was this during the same conversation?

On the face of it, there's a lot of confusion! Maybe she took the money to give to the guitar teacher in way of payment?

How much are we talking here, out of interest?

MrsCampbellBlack · 30/03/2014 20:44

I think you don't know if they were free or not so pointless getting overly hung up on it.

Original poster
ReallyNotSureAboutThisAtAll · 30/03/2014 21:10
  • Friend told me she got 4 tickets without specifying 'given' or 'bought'. She got them from her son's guitar teacher, he was also playing as part of the act.
  • when I asked 'how much are the tickets, she answered £15 each. This is true as I looked up the band and the venue online and I could have bought the tickets myself for that price at that point.
  • I had told my DH how much they were but he still asked my friend 'how much do I owe you', I don't know why, he just did. It was at this point she started saying something that lead my DH to believe she hadn't paid for the tickets herself anyway. The bits she said obviously included the price of the ticket. My DH felt she stopped mid-sentence, took the money and kind of changed subject.

It never occurred to me before my DH went that she might not have paid for the tickets. It was only when my DH returned that he said that, and then I thought about the conversation earlier and the way the whole thing went, and I also feel a member of the band would be giving out free tickets but not selling them.

But you're all right, I do not know for certain, it's just my mind racing and I knew that from the beginning. My question was if this is true, then should it bother me?

OP posts:
Original poster
ReallyNotSureAboutThisAtAll · 30/03/2014 21:10

£15 per ticket so £30, but it really isn't about the money at all.

OP posts:
OwlCapone · 30/03/2014 21:13

She told me her DS's guitar teacher had given her 4 tickets.
Or
Friend told me she got 4 tickets without specifying 'given' or 'bought'.

Given you can't get the story straight in your head, you should just let it go.

wowfudge · 30/03/2014 21:16

Is it possible that she had tickets for the gig which she was expected to sell? Maybe she hadn't made that clear.

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