Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Tell me off dear parents!!

34 replies

naru · 28/03/2014 19:48

Dear parents and carers....facing a real awkward behaviour from a father of two I saw in the park today I am trying to make me even more upset from here if you guys tell me off. Whilst I was strolling around Clissold park today with my one and half year old daughter I saw a little girl sitting on a stroller and there was no one else around. About in 100 meter distance there was a man with a little boy. He probably went to bring the little boy who was left behind. I saw the girl was a bit scared to be left alone like that so I thought I would stay around a bit to guard her. The dad came within minutes and I said to him smiling "it was a bit risky to leave her like that". He replied in a very rude manner "why? do you think someone will steal her??". It was around 5pm in the afternoon and park was a bit quiet that time. It wasn't about only stealing, there are dogs and other animals in the park. Newspapers are full of scary accidents with little kids. I hope every child have a good and full life. Tell me off please for being a bit caring fir a child I didn't know. :-(

OP posts:
pigsDOfly · 28/03/2014 20:00

NBU to care. But he was probably keeping an eye on her and took your remark as criticism of his parenting.

shakinstevenslovechild · 28/03/2014 20:01

You were rude to him, and he was rude back. I wouldn't worry too much, but in future don't tell random strangers off for the way they parent their children, it will never be well received.

EatShitDerek · 28/03/2014 20:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
naru · 28/03/2014 20:05

I won't never again. ..thanks guys

OP posts:
CoffeeTea103 · 28/03/2014 20:05

You were really out of order to say that, how do you know that his son didn't bolt off and he thought the baby isn't going anywhere so he needs to get his son Asap. People like you need to mind your business. How rude of you.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 28/03/2014 20:06

Why not say something neutral like, "what a lovely top she has on!" rather than criticising? Who would respond well to a comment like yours from a stranger, even if they privately thought that you might have a point?

gordyslovesheep · 28/03/2014 20:06

yabu and over reacting - it's not worth fretting over

Original poster
naru · 28/03/2014 20:07

I didn't meant to be rude anyway

OP posts:
Smartiepants79 · 28/03/2014 20:08

So her father was in shouting distance and she could see him. I'm sorry but you would have got a bit of a rude answer from me as well if you'd made that comment.
Do you have more than one child? If not then I think it's difficult to appreciate that each child cannot be next to you all the time. Some times your off chasing the other one down before they run across the road/fall into a lake.
She was at extremely minimal risk and you were being a big judgey.

NewtRipley · 28/03/2014 20:09

I don't think, whatever the reality, however justified the complaint, that you saying that in that way is going to go down well. In his head he's going to hear "You are a rubbish parent and I am the one to tell you".

It was nice of you to stay with her to keep her happy, but realistically it's highly unlikely something bad would happen, which was probably what he was thinking.

Newspapers are full of bad stuff - especially Hackney Newspaper Grin.

NewtRipley · 28/03/2014 20:09

Newspapers

MiniSoksMakeHardWork · 28/03/2014 20:10

Hmmm. I probably wouldn't have thanked you either for your comment. Ds1 is a bolter. I'd struggle to run after him while pushing a double pushchair. So twins would stay put while I dashed to get ds1. You know the child in the pushchair is less likely to be further away then where you left them.

MrsTerryPratchett · 28/03/2014 20:10

If she was 100 metres away and within sight, how was she left alone? Even a shit runner can cover 100 metres pretty quickly, in this case with a toddler under his arm if need be. And, why on earth do you want AIBU to have a go? Or, did you actually want everyone to say, "what a wonderful caring person, HWBU"?

BertieBotts · 28/03/2014 20:11

I think you're being a little bit over paranoid. It's unlikely that someone is going to steal a child from a park. I'm sure it does happen but if the dad was in sight, no problem at all.

NewtRipley · 28/03/2014 20:11

I'm sure you didn't mean to be rude. You were concerned. But I think you were worrying too much.

MammaTJ · 28/03/2014 20:12

I think he could see his child from where he was and felt you were over reacting and criticising his parenting. He was right.

Would you have reacted the same if it was Mum in charge instead of Dad?

I ask this a Mum who often leaves Dad in charge and he hasn't killed them yet.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 28/03/2014 20:12

If I ever see a child I think might be lost, I loiter nearby looking at something and keep half an eye out; every time so far a parent has come back into view with a dropped teddy or whatever and I just head off without saying anything or with a quick "lovely weather" or whatever.

FunkyBoldRibena · 28/03/2014 20:12

Was she scared because you were creeping around looking at her?

NewtRipley · 28/03/2014 20:13

I fear you are going to get rudeness back here OP, and then you'll feel justified in being affronted all over again. It goes like that on AIBU

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 28/03/2014 20:16

X-post, OP has reconsidered, well done!

HappyAgainOneDay · 28/03/2014 20:19

I agree with DoctrineofSnatch. It would have been a better idea to hang around to be on the safe side for the child in the pushchairand make a nice comment about something. The OP might have received a smile then.

Original poster
naru · 28/03/2014 20:23

Thanks for the kind words NewtRipley. Being a new parent I am a bit paranoid and need to learn a lot. Thanks everyone

OP posts:
toldmywrath · 28/03/2014 21:11

Ignore the rudeness Naru- you had the best of intentions & were looking out for that little girl. Well done you. I would've done the same, perhaps my comment to the parent might've been different, but I would have stood my ground.

kanno · 28/03/2014 22:16

Naru,
as an older Mum of a much older (now significantly adult) child, I am somewhat removed from this type of situation, I.E. I'm not putting myself in the shoes of the dad you spoke to and therefore I'm really sorry for some of the criticism you've faced. No-one likes to feel caught out or criticised, and there may be many reasons why the dad went over to the other child leaving one in the pushchair, however, evidence shows society at large is all too reluctant to step in when there's evidence of child neglect, cruelty etc. as uncomfortable as it might be, stepping in when we see something that concerns us is an essential part of good citiznship and IMO, pretty darn brave!

Purplepoodle · 28/03/2014 22:21

I can catch up with my bolting 3 year old in seconds if I leave the buggy. Safer for the baby too as it might tip if I was running and pushing it. Not ideal but thats life.