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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to take a four day job?

39 replies

soorplooms · 26/03/2014 18:56

DH works away, 3 teens doing exams, have been offered a 4 days per week job when I really only want 2- 3 days. Not sure I can cope, do I give it a go or say no thanks? I have to give them decision tomorrow.

OP posts:
HappyBungleBear · 26/03/2014 19:03

I think I'd wait. Not quite at the teen stage yet, but if you're stressed then I'm pretty sure they'll feel it too - and they probably don't need any more stress and they probably need lots of support too right now.
But really, I suppose it depends how important the job is to you in terms of life and money... will this opportunity come along again? (sort of thing).
Sorry not much help. Good luck. x

Original poster
soorplooms · 26/03/2014 19:08

Money is peanuts (local govt) it's sort of a foot back in the door but I already have some casual hours which is just about enough but not guaranteed as zero hours contract. Ho hum!

OP posts:
WidowWadman · 26/03/2014 19:11

Would teenagers really care notice if their mother worked 4 rather than 3 days?

Original poster
soorplooms · 26/03/2014 19:15

You're right widow, they say they're OK it's just my addled brain that's not sure it can cope with the demands of a new role and doing all the exam support, home admin etc

OP posts:
Original poster
soorplooms · 26/03/2014 19:16

You're right widow, they say they're OK it's just my addled brain that's not sure it can cope with the demands of a new role and doing all the exam support, home admin etc

OP posts:
greenfolder · 26/03/2014 19:20

well, if they are not out of school til 3.30, presumably its only an extra 2 hours per week which would impact on supervision. you would also have a whole day a week free to do anything else that needed doing, plus 2 days each week as the, erm, weekend.

would also take into account that if they do ok in their exams at some point you will putting 3 through university and i promise you an actual guaranteed sum arriving in the bank account each month makes life better at that point.

Original poster
soorplooms · 26/03/2014 19:26

Trying to get one off to uni right now & next only a year behind so it's imminent.This opportunity has just come at an awkward time with exams imminent and lots of stress!

OP posts:
DumbleDee · 26/03/2014 19:31

What do you do for them in that 1 day that's being debated when they are at school for most of it?

WidowWadman · 26/03/2014 19:42

I can't remember my mum helping me with studying for exams - what exactly do you do to support them?

AnythingNotEverything · 26/03/2014 19:45

I say take the four day job and get your teenagers to help more. They could easily cook a meal each and ease your workload. Or use the extra money on a cleaner or something equally useful.

They'll be gone soon and you'll need work. This could be a great opportunity.

Goblinchild · 26/03/2014 19:50

Unless there are other reasons why your teens need extensive support, you are doing te older two no favours by being so intensively helpful that you can't work a full week.
When/if they get there, they will need to be self-disciplined enough to cope with all the distractions and devilment of uni, along with feeding and clothing themselves and keep up with the work.
Unless you are planning on them living at home and being students?

Parentingfailure · 26/03/2014 19:55

Why do you need to be there for 'exam support'.
I'm gong to get flamed for this but there seems to be a whole lot of women on mn who just don't want to work!
I didn't get any exam support or 'help to get off to uni'. I did ok, I'm a doctor now.
Why wouldn't you take the job?

Goblinchild · 26/03/2014 20:00

Well, my two needed exam support for different reasons and of different types, but they also shared the housework. One does not necessarily exclude the other.

nkf · 26/03/2014 20:02

Is it a good job? One you want.

Thewildsofnarnia · 26/03/2014 20:10

Another that would take the job here. If the children are at school would 4 make much more of a difference than 3 days?

kelda · 26/03/2014 20:12

I was like you, my children a bit younger (5,8,10), one with additional needs, and I took the job. Four/five days a week instead of three.

Because it is shifts, every day is a juggling act with the children and their activites/therapies.

So far it is working out very well. I still have loads of time for the children, helping the with homework (we live in Belgium where the children gets lots of homework and tests from an early age) and ds with his therapy. The babysitter helps out sometimes.

It helps that I really enjoy the job and am generally not too stressed out by it, although I admit to being tired.

My advice would be to take the job.

FloozeyLoozey · 26/03/2014 20:13

I went down from 5 to 4 recently and 4 seems like a dream!

ChubbyLittleLoser · 26/03/2014 20:16

Are any of your children SEN? Because I could see why you're hesitant in that case.

If not, then I think your over thinking it and should bite the bullet and take it. You can always keep an eye out for other jobs whilst working and leave if it really doesn't suit you and your family.

MaryWestmacott · 26/03/2014 20:18

Do the job, use the extra day's money for a) a cleaner and b) a weekly takeaway. Use your lunchhour to do admin for the family.

They don't need a lot of support at that age, or childcare, you can do it.

dreamingofsun · 26/03/2014 20:21

agree with others, surely teenagers should be able to look after themselves. I have 3 and husband who works away normally and i dropped from 5 days to 4 - 4 is very manageable. i do have a cleaner though as i hate cleaning.

you are not going to be able to look after them once they are at uni, so surely they might as well start being responsible now.

how much home admin do you have? I've always thought that people generate work to occupy their time. Can you do things more efficiently?

nkf · 26/03/2014 20:22

What is home admin anyway?

Original poster
soorplooms · 26/03/2014 20:22

I get you all think I'm being wimpish and the teens need to do more. I suppose my main worry is the previous post - holder worked way over the hours she was paid for and Saturdays are involved also but maybe I just give it a go.

OP posts:
dreamingofsun · 26/03/2014 20:28

lots of people work saturdays. i've worked a 4 day week for about 15 years now and don't work over the hours - i guess this depends on the company though. a lot of the FT people i work with do way more excess hours than i do. if i work over one week, i work less the next. i think you are worrying over things that may never happen

EverythingCounts · 26/03/2014 20:33

On the hours question, you need to be very firm about saying no to excessive extra hours. The occasional bit of unpaid overtime in response to some specific need is one thing but regularly expecting you to work extra is not on. However, that's something that you won't gain from bringing up at the start but I would make a point of asking for clarification exactly what the hours are. Then you will need to stand firm when it comes up and say what you can't do as it is unpaid.

It's perhaps a good opportunity to sit down and talk with your teens about what their responsibilities are. With regard to uni, once they are there they will need to motivate and manage themselves, so it is as well they get used to that beforehand. It's all very well 'getting them in' if then they can't cope with working independently.

Original poster
soorplooms · 26/03/2014 20:36

I guess I just want to do the job properly if I take it on but worry it will completely absorb all my few remaining little grey cells ( I am an old mother!)

OP posts: