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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DLA with a child with autism

21 replies

x2boys · 24/03/2014 10:49

AIBU to be happy about this I recently posted on here about my little boy aged three who was diagnosed with autism and some learning difficulties before xmas, asking wether I would be being unreasonable to give up work. I,m a nurse due to the pressures and stress as well as trying to be there for both my sons I got lots of lovely replys saying I would not be unreasonable although it would mean I have to claim tax credits and housing benefits. I just found out this morning my son has been awarded MRC DLA which would make this possible I,m not happy about my son having a diagnosis of autism but being able to give up work would make such a difference to our lives.

OP posts:
ICanSeeTheSun · 24/03/2014 10:57

As I said in your last post you have to do what's right for your son.

As I remember he is non verbal and needs a lot of care.

Do it :)?

Original poster
x2boys · 24/03/2014 10:59

yes he is and very demanding thankyou.

OP posts:
ElectricalBanana · 24/03/2014 11:02

this is a situation where benefits are needed....you need to look after your lovely little boy.
as you might remember i did something similar (i became a childminder) where i gave up nursing because my DD (now 21) needed lots of care as she got much older. I dont regret it xx

Gileswithachainsaw · 24/03/2014 11:04

Doesn't matter what anyone else thinks!! He's your Ds and you know where your time is best spent and what he needs. If that's you not working so be it!!!

I'm glad it's possible for you to do it. Grab hold of this opportunity with both hands!!

:)

Original poster
x2boys · 24/03/2014 11:10

thankyou ladies good to hear .

OP posts:
MN216 · 24/03/2014 11:13

Am glad about the DLA award and the recognition of his care needs that it represents - it may now open up other benefits/sources of help, especially if you do give up work, so I would really recommend contacting your local Citizens Advice Bureau for advice. Good luck.

diaimchlo · 24/03/2014 11:14

YADNBU.... as the others have said go for it and be as happy as you want, you deserve it. Smile

Creamycoolerwithcream · 24/03/2014 11:14

I gave up work to look after my DS who has epilepsy, it was definitely the right decision for my family. I wish you and your family all the best.

Impatientismymiddlename · 24/03/2014 11:18

You have to do the right thing for your son and yourself. Looking after a child with autism and a learning difficulty is hugely demanding and the demands might get higher as he gets older. By giving up work you will be able to dedicate the time to your son that he needs and you will be able to attend all of his appointments. You will also be able to catch up on any missed sleep once your son is at nursery / school. It's also worth bearing in mind that your son might have to go further to school than other children and you might need to transport him.
You do what you feel is best and don't forget that you can claim extra tax credits now that your son is getting DLA and you will be able to claim carers allowance too as he has got the middle rate.

Original poster
x2boys · 24/03/2014 11:27

well we hope he will get into the special school as mainstream would be disastrous for him now I had a look around a few weeks ago and it seems a lovely place he would get transport for that but it would make life so much easier.

OP posts:
Fusedog · 24/03/2014 11:37

Could you not go part time first see if that helped he will son be at full time school and then if that was still to much then leave ?

Ledare · 24/03/2014 12:17

Please ring tax credits and tell them about the MRC. You should be entitled to extra money, around £50 p.w iirc. This will help if you have to stop working.

beamme · 24/03/2014 12:24

You will also be entitled to carers allowance now your DS is receiving DLA, as well as the extra CTC. It's only a little bit but will help.

I took a career break with my DD to help with her rehabilitation. Best thing I ever did for her and for me. Good luck xx

NeedsAsockamnesty · 24/03/2014 12:29

I remember your thread.

I'm glad he got it awarded.

Impatientismymiddlename · 24/03/2014 12:39

OP - did you get an award for mobility as the benefits agency have recognised that children with autism and learning difficulties often have trouble using public transport.
If you didn't get a mobility award then it might be worth re-applying when your DS is five as I think the criteria changes a little at age 5.

Original poster
x2boys · 24/03/2014 12:39

thankyou needs it will make such a difference to our lives.

OP posts:
Original poster
x2boys · 24/03/2014 12:40

no mobility yet impatient as a child has to be five unless circumstances are extreme.

OP posts:
Impatientismymiddlename · 24/03/2014 12:52

Ah, I couldn't quite remember what the age bandings were.
I did find this booklet which might be of some use to you

www.cafamily.org.uk/media/379407/dla_learning_disabilities_final_4_feb_14_for_web.pdf

Please do not feel guilty if you decide to give up work. Benefits are there to assist families like yours and enable them to manage their child's additional needs in the best way possible.

Original poster
x2boys · 24/03/2014 12:58

thankyou impatient.

OP posts:
GossamerHailfilter · 24/03/2014 13:00

he will son be at full time school and then if that was still to much then leave ?

My DS is 7 and still isnt in school full time. Unfortunately or children with SN school isnt the easy transition it is for most other children.

Original poster
x2boys · 24/03/2014 13:44

very true gossamer I know several children with s/n who started off in mainstream and were excluded as the school just could not cope.

OP posts:
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