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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Quick Poll - DP stay out the night before Mother's Day? AIBU to object?

50 replies

EleventyTwelve · 23/03/2014 14:59

Just that really. DP's Mother will be away, so no visiting there required, or on my side. DP wants to go to an old friend's party in a different town and stay over next Saturday night, leaving me on own with 2 x DC (7&3). I dare say he'll be up all night, hungover and not back until the afternoon I wouldn't think. No chance of going too.

DP attitude is that I am "not his mother" so feels no obligation other than to oversee the kids get me a card & present, which they can still give me.

So AIBU to be Hmm about this, and disappointed that I won't get breakfast in bed and still have to do everything?

OP posts:
softlysoftly · 23/03/2014 15:02

I'd say YABU because him "helping" shouldn't just occur on mothers day so card from kids should be enough.

But that's dependent on the following weekend you getting to stop out while he sits in.

WorraLiberty · 23/03/2014 15:02

I kind of agree with your DP to be honest.

But maybe that's because my DH and I regularly bring each other tea in bed and cook Sunday lunch for one another.

We don't need Hallmark to tell us which day to do this and the kids make me cards anyway.

If it's different in your house, then I can see why you might be upset though.

bebows · 23/03/2014 15:04

On the pathetic scale, rates a 2

AmysTiara · 23/03/2014 15:07

Yabu

NurseyWursey · 23/03/2014 15:07

YABU

TittyMcFartyFlaps · 23/03/2014 15:08

Get him to give you breakfast in bed on the Saturday.
I don't think you should stop him going on a fun night out just cos it's Mother's Day the day after.

Backtobedlam · 23/03/2014 15:09

YABU-can he not let you have a lie in and breakfast in bed the week after instead if it's important to you?

joanofarchitrave · 23/03/2014 15:10

YABU. Take the kids out for breakfast at McDonalds/somewhere nice and try to enjoy it.

Plan a great night out on Saturday June 13 - are there friends you've been meaning to get together with? Time for a serious girly night out and stay over. So that he can enjoy proper fathering time with his kids on Father's Day

Laquitar · 23/03/2014 15:11

Why cant he be back next day and bring you lunch or go together for a lunch?
He is not unreasonable to go out imo but his reply was not good.
You can always get a babysitter on sat and go out with a friend.

Middleagedmotheroftwo · 23/03/2014 15:12

Mothers' day is just a day. Ask him to bring you breakfast in bed another day. I really don't get Mothers' Day, or Fathers' Day. Both are dreamt up by the greeting card industry to get people to spend money.
We don't bother with either in this house.

GertTheFlirt · 23/03/2014 15:14

I dont see the issue myself.

pommedeterre · 23/03/2014 15:15

Yabu

But I agree with bfast out and would add on a fun shopping trip with treats for everyone.

zipzap · 23/03/2014 15:20

Sounds selfish of him, even if it wasn't Mothering Sunday the next day!

Original poster
EleventyTwelve · 23/03/2014 15:24

Grin I thought I might be!

Laquitar - I think you've got it. I think it was how he put it that rubbed me up the wrong way, and Joan, I like your thinking! Think it's that I am rather owed on the going out/having a break front so a bit sensitive. I will organise something for me any way for another time soon!

Thanks all for stopping me being a twat lol Smile

OP posts:
Caitlin17 · 23/03/2014 15:34

You are being beyond unreasonable. It's a made up day to boost sales for the greetings card industry. I don't even know what day it is it means so little.

It's not as if it were a day of real significance like your birthday or anniversary.

Caitlin17 · 23/03/2014 15:37

Sorry I see you agree with everyone. It's really not an important day.

NurseyWursey · 23/03/2014 15:38

Isn't it lovely when an OP listens!

justwantitmadeforme · 23/03/2014 15:52

you are being a bit unreasonable.

My dp is away on a stag night on Saturday and as long as he gets me a card from the DC I'm not too fussed.

Pinkcustardpurplecustard · 23/03/2014 15:56

Can he pamper you Saturday day time instead?

Laquitar · 23/03/2014 16:11

I honestly dont get this kind of threads. It doesnt matter if card shops make money.
It is about considering what makes your other half happy. If my dh wanted very much to buy him a bottle of wine on 12th of Sept, or 5th August, or 11Nov or whatever date then i will.just to see him happy. Yes tesco will make 5 pounds out of me. I don't care.

I think it is mean to deny someone a moment of
happiness and affection.
I hope he comes on sunday and treats you.

Original poster
EleventyTwelve · 23/03/2014 16:13

I just liked the idea of him getting up with the DC and helping them make me breakfast in bed - nostalgic really as it's what I used to do, but yes, I guess they could do that Saturday instead.

OP posts:
maras2 · 23/03/2014 16:41

Don't forget that the clocks go forward too .

WorraLiberty · 23/03/2014 16:41

Sounds selfish of him, even if it wasn't Mothering Sunday the next day!

Huh? Why? Confused

PorkPieandPickle · 23/03/2014 17:34

Actually I would be a bit disappointed too. I know on MN it's uncool to get excited about any celebration, Mother's Day, birthdays etc, but we are only human, and lots of us do enjoy having a fuss made on a 'special' day, just as we enjoy making others feel special!

I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to buy into the whole Mother's Day celebration, even if it had become very commercialised! Christmas has also become very commercialised but we still buy into that!!!

Jolleigh · 23/03/2014 18:22

zipzap - why is he being selfish just for going out?!