To think care home fees are extortionate?

[PenguinBear]

Very tricky family situation.

We live about 80miles from family member. One of DP's SILs lives around 4 miles from her. She and her husband are retired and have grown up children. She is paid a Carer's allowance to clean for her every week and grandparent has Carer's pop in twice a day to make sure she has taken her pills and has food etc.

SIL is too busy to visit her the rest of the week so us and dp's other sister try and visit when we can. (She's also about 80miles away).

SIL has announced this week that the family member needs to go into a care home and the doctor's surgery Recommends one. It's £1000 a WEEK!!!!!

We are struggling financially and there's no way we could contribute :(. Both dp's sisters are very well off and could pay until the flat is sold and would then claim back from her estate.

Problem is, she doesn't want to go into a care home!! And she's said she wants us all to have a share of the flat when she dies, not to have it go on care fees.

I've been doing some investigating and apparently when her money runs out the care home will evict her and move her to a cheaper, state run home.

I really don't know what to do. Is there better 'in home care' that might be cheaper than a home?

Why does she have to go into a care home, is there a reason why she has to? What health issues does she have? Dementia.. physical disabilities..?

need more info before can reply

apparently when her money runs out the care home will evict her and move her to a cheaper, state run home

They have to do this, to stop unscrupulous care homes spending all their money and then charging the state.

£1000 a week does seem a bit pricey though, £500-£800 is more the norm round here.

When you think there are staff available 24/7, they don't have to worry about being too cold more likely too hot, get fed three meals a day, plus snacks three times a day.

Staffing is the biggest cost in these places.

The owners need their profit too, they are not charities.

She might be better stopping the carers allowance that goes to SIL and use it for more care hours though. Does that sound realistic, or are her needs too high?

If she needs care you have a few options.

It would be daft though to go to a care home and then have to move again if she still needed care - it would be an unnecessary strain.

You could have in home care?

It's good that she has an asset to sell to fund her care - obviously that's the proper purpose of it and not inheritance.

She needs a social care assessment may be sil is finding it too much

We are paying £950 a week for my dad's care. Well, HE is paying that.

They will NOT chuck him out when/if the money runs out - check with the individual home.

Home care is more expensive, especially if you need care at night.

We had live-in respite, which cost more than £2,000 for 2 weeks - and you had to provide food and someone to cover the carer's breaks.

Hourly care is £15-20 an hour, so adding it up, a care home is cheaper by far (overnights were £120-150).

This is not why we moved my Dad though, he could no longer reasonably and safely be cared for at home (Alzheimer's)

No dementia, she's 95 and still has all her faculties! It's more the physical side, she had a stroke about 12 years ago and she's slow to move around... Sometimes can't make it to the loo in time as her leg doesn't always work when she wants it to etc :(

You need to contact the adult care services department where she lives and ask for an assessment or a review if she's already had one explaining that current arrangements are breaking down. They can decide, with her and family, what best solution is care wise.

Then a financial assessment will be done to see how much if anything she will have to contribute. There are different rules slightly about nursing and residential care homes and different rules in Scotland. In England The local adult care services will have a maximum fee level they will contribute to (so it could be home fees of up to eg £500 but cared for person has to pay some or all) .

If she has a house that no one else lives in then the value of that, over a certain sum, will be taken into account as money she has access to to pay the fees. if the house isn't sold yet, they will simply wait to get the money repaid once it is. It's called putting a charge on the house. It doesn't matter I'm afraid that she wants to leave you all some of the value as fees have to take priority legally. This method makes sure people can still be in appropriate care before they can sell their property. And propery includes all asserts like paintings valuable antiques stocks snd shares. not just houses. This money is called 'capital'.

Sometimes family members 'top up' fees to get a home that would otherwise be too expensive but if is not compulsory. It is usually sensible yo enter a home that had fees that the adult care services will pay in full once any capital has run out.

You can get advice from lots of places. You should never have to pay a fee to get advice about home placements or fees.

Good luck, it's stressful but nice when you know the family member is well looked after

If she doesn't want to go into a care home and has mental capacity, whatever your SIL wants is neither here nor there. She can refuse to go.

Is she paying for her carers now? Does she have the attendance allowance? How much does she have in savings? If less than around £16,000 the cost of carers is meanstested on her income. Above that, and she pays the full cost until her savings are below the threshold. It is possible to keep someone in their own home, even when they need substantial levels of assistance. If that is what your relative wants, then I think you should do everything you can to support her wishes.

Unless her condition has recently deteriorated, I don't think, on the basis of one visit a week, to do cleaning, for which she is receiving an allowance, that your SIL's opinion should count more than anyone else's. Are social services involved? You could arrange for an assessment to establish whether she can be cared for at home and take it from there.

Just to add, my mother had dementia, was doubly incontinent, needed assistance to walk, dress, get up in the morning, be put to bed, and, with the help of LA carers, four times a day, was still able to stay in her own home till she died. She owned her own property, but this was not taken into account. She paid a contribution towards the carers' visits, but was easily able to manage this with the help of the lower level attendance allowance.

We visited her every week to do the shopping and cleaning. We did not receive a carer's allowance.

As jamaisjedors says above they don't always chuck you out when you can't pay. My family member has just dropped below the savings threshold and now Social Services will pick up the tab. Before she went in the home a relative checked which homes she could stay in if she ran out of money and picked the best of those so she wouldn't have to move.

As said above, if she has mental capacity (and without dementia or other mental health/ neurological disorder it is likely she does) then no one can make her move anywhere. The first thing you need to do is speak to the family member and ask what they want to do. SIL can do as much or little care as she wishes but she can't dictate where they live- it's against the law.