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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to miss sex?

28 replies

sadandtired14 · 09/03/2014 15:46

I have been single for years and the last time I had sex was 2009. So 5 years ago.

I'm mostly fine was being single but I am definitely feeling that I'd love some real intimacy. I'm not BU in this, surely? :) Blush

OP posts:
spongebob13 · 09/03/2014 15:49

yanbu. i am in a relationship and its been 4 years so i feel your pain!

WorraLiberty · 09/03/2014 15:49

Of course not

Original poster
sadandtired14 · 09/03/2014 15:51

poor you spongebob, probably worse in many ways to be in your position Flowers

Thanks worraliberty :)

OP posts:
SoftKittyWarmKitty · 09/03/2014 15:52

YANBU. I see your 5 years and raise you...8. I split up from ex in Jan 2006 and didn't have sex again until this January, and that was a ONS with someone I already knew. I've been dating someone but we haven't slept together yet and he's being a bit of an arse so it'll be a miracle if it happens Hmm.

I miss it. I just hope it isn't another eight years until next time Grin.

Original poster
sadandtired14 · 09/03/2014 15:56

Me too on your behalf kitty :)

OP posts:
RandomMess · 09/03/2014 15:59

it's been several months for me and that is bad enough, YANBU!

CrackerSnacker · 09/03/2014 15:59

Good to see I'm not alone! Dumped in November 2009 when 3 months pregnant... Litte opportunity for dating (let alone anything else!) since.

Think I've forgotten how it all works ;-)

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 09/03/2014 17:05

I was dumped while pregnant too, Cracker. I didn't date at all for several years but my ONS showed me that I definitely haven't forgotten how it all works Wink.

Original poster
sadandtired14 · 09/03/2014 17:31

It's incredibly difficult because I am really yearning for physical contact and it makes me sad I won't be held, kissed or loved for possibly a long time! Sorry to moan!

OP posts:
SoftKittyWarmKitty · 09/03/2014 17:46

Why do you think that Sad? Everyone is loveable. What's your situation? Have you thought of online dating?

Original poster
sadandtired14 · 09/03/2014 18:27

Oh I've had no luck with that and plus I do find it hard as it's so very artificial - obviously that's the nature of the beast so to speak but in the past when I've liked someone it's been due to a human sort of response which I've never had online, unfortunately!

OP posts:
SoleSource · 09/03/2014 18:30

I was dumped three times in 2008. Not had sex since. I miss sex but do not want a guy in my life right now.

SoleSource · 09/03/2014 18:32

MY DUCKING GOD THAT WAS THERAPUTIC

DUMPED 3 TIMES

Effic · 09/03/2014 18:33

Hi
Feel exactly the way you do.....I miss intimacy, being held etc. and there seems no way that is going to change. Am so so sad that I am destined to be on my own forever. And I agree Online dating is truly awful.

CuntyBunty · 09/03/2014 18:34

There are web sites where you can meet someone for no strings sex and I believe swingers clubs welcome single women. There are a shortage there and they usually get in for free. See the swingers thread in S&B if this appeals, perhaps?

Original poster
sadandtired14 · 09/03/2014 18:36

To tell you the truth it doesn't appeal bunty but thank you!

OP posts:
SoftKittyWarmKitty · 09/03/2014 18:42

I've been online dating but it's very harsh. It's difficult to meet anyone irl though as my friends are all married and don't want to go out and my colleagues are all much younger than me.

There's a swingers thread in S&B?!

wonderingsoul · 09/03/2014 18:46

ynbu

sometimes all i want is a hug.. from some one other than my children or friends.

i used to have a male friend who'd give the most amazing hugs, we'd cudle n watched a movie kind of thing.. but i blew that couple of months ago.

i cant ever see my self getting with some one else and its rarther lonely.

formerbabe · 09/03/2014 18:47

Sadandtired...don't lose hope. I agree you need chemistry and you only get that when u meet someone face to face. I met a guy online (many many moons ago before Mr formerbabe!)...we had amazing chemistry from the first meeting so you never know!

Holliewantstobehot · 09/03/2014 18:54

Four years and counting - am now petrified at the thought of meeting someone new. I know I should just get out there and do it but I have developed a real mental block over the whole thing to the point where if I even suspect someone is flirting with me I panic. But then my exh put me down a lot and I never want to be the person I was when we were together again. I just don't trust myself to pick a goodun!

Alchemist · 09/03/2014 18:55

sometimes all i want is a hug.. from some one other than my children or friends.

This sums it up for me.

untouchable · 09/03/2014 19:06

Blimey, I am married and haven't had affection or sex for over 7 years. :(

CuntyBunty · 09/03/2014 19:11

www.mumsnet.com/SearchTalk?searchtype=unan&ntype=2

There you go softkitty

CuntyBunty · 09/03/2014 19:13

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/style_and_beauty/1992360-What-does-one-wear-to-a-swingers-club?
try this one, I think it works this time.

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 09/03/2014 19:14

Thanks Cunty, I'll have a read.

Untouchable Is there a reason for that? You seem very sad about it. Do you want to stay in the marriage without affection?