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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not send dd to preschool?

42 replies

BananaPie · 06/03/2014 21:03

Dd is three, so I think could start preschool this sept.

She's in nursery three days a week while I work, and is in the preschool room there. Everyone keeps asking me which preschool she'll be going to, but I'm planning just to keep her in nursery and enjoy my two days with her on my non working days.

In NI if that makes any difference. Preschool seems to be more of a "thing" here than it does in England.

Am I setting her back for life?

OP posts:
littlebluedog12 · 06/03/2014 21:06

That's just what I did with DD1- it was so lovely having 2 full days to do what we liked instead of rushing to preschool every morning!

StetsonsAreCool · 06/03/2014 21:08

DD is 3.9 and doesn't go to preschool - she has 2 days at nursery and 3 days with family.

It's a bit different in our house and me and DH both work full time, so preschool hours would have caused us more hassle and expense. DD is settled into her nursery/family routine, so it didn't seem worth changing it for the sake of her wearing a preschool uniform.

moonriverandme · 06/03/2014 21:11

In England it seems the other way round, that if your child is at Pre-School people ask if they're going to Nursery. You and your daughter will enjoy your 2 days together, she will be in full time school soon enough. Have a lovely time. YANBU.

Lucylouby · 06/03/2014 21:14

My dd only does 4 mornings and people are shocked that we are losing three hours of funding each week. I don't care if we are losing it. I wouldn't want her doing full days and I love having a day we can go out and do stuff without nursery getting in the way. There is plenty of time for education once they are in school full time. Enjoy your time with your daughter while you can, three days a week in a good nursery will be giving her all she needs from a childcare setting.

Ziggyzoom · 06/03/2014 21:16

Pre-school, in England at least, doesn't have to be 5 days. DD's went to the one on the site of the primary school they are now at. They just went for 2/3 days and it worked well for the transition.

But, do what you want!

EnglishGirlApproximately · 06/03/2014 21:17

This is what I plan to do either Ds. He spend 3 days a with a lovely cm where he socialises with other children and does loads of activities. He's developing brilliantly and see no reason to change his routine until I have to.

maddening · 06/03/2014 21:18

preschool/nursery what's the difference? ds goes full time to a preschool as it was better than any nurseries round me except for the nurseries which cost 50% more than I pay for 8-6 at preschool.

the only advantage would be going to the preschool attached to the school the dc is most likely to attend so they make friends with dc they may be in school with but if they don't offer wrap-round care that would fit with your work then a nursery local to the school would likely have dc which would move up to reception with your dc.

CrohnicallyFarting · 06/03/2014 21:18

I think so long as they are going to some form of childcare/early education then it's fine. I work in a school, and not only is it hard for the children to be separated from their parents all day if they've never been apart before, they also need to learn to share the teacher's attention and get along with other children. I don't think it really matters if it's daycare or nursery or preschool, they are often used interchangeably anyway (eg my DD's day nursery offers preschool sessions, yet a nursery can be attached to a school so isn't that technically a preschool?)

maddening · 06/03/2014 21:19

and if I was home 2 days then my ds would be with me - I might consider a morning on one of the days so I could blast the cleaning and have the other 3.5 days to spend with ds and having fun.

starlight1234 · 06/03/2014 21:20

No enjoy your child..honestly you will never regret spending ime with your lo..as they grow

hiccupgirl · 06/03/2014 21:25

My DS does exactly that - 3 days at nursery while I work and 2 days at home with me. He starts school this September and I am treasuring the 2 days a week I have him all to myself now because soon he'll be gone Mon-Fri.

I decided not to expect him to get used to a second setting and most weeks he does 25-28 hours a week at nursery anyway which is close to a full school week already.

Smartiepants79 · 06/03/2014 21:29

My 3.5 Dd has 2 mornings in preschool. 2 days with my Mum while I work and the rest with me. I don't really want her to go anymore than that but I am starting to feel that she is missing out a little socially. I'm not sure she is forming friendships as well as she would if she was their more often. I think she is the only one who doesn't go 5 days a week.
She is going to school in September Sad so in the end I think I'd rather have the time at home with her.

x2boys · 06/03/2014 21:29

but you can use the 15 hours how you like two full days 3 hrs a day it does nt really matter.

Smartiepants79 · 06/03/2014 21:30

Sorry there more often.

RiverTam · 06/03/2014 21:34

pre-school is crap if you have 2 working parents. DD is in nursery 3 days a week, 8-6, and we get the relevant funding deducted from our bill. AFAIK no-one has moved their child from her nursery to pre-school. I'm not keen on them anyway as they seem to focus too much on preparing the children for school, even though many 3 year olds won't be starting school until they're pushing 5, so they have 2 years of this.

QueenofKelsingra · 06/03/2014 21:42

generally here SAHPs use pre-schools (often attached to the school of their choice) and working parents use nurseries/CMs for the longer hours.

tbh I think it is more about having time to interact with their peers and learn the beginnings of school skills and social skills away from the parents and both settings offer this. use whichever suits.

DS does the 2 and a half days that is funded, we cant afford for him to do more, so he gets plenty of time home with me and his siblings too. all about balance.

soverylucky · 06/03/2014 21:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

arethereanyleftatall · 06/03/2014 21:45

I know not everyone can do this, but one of the reasons I stopped working when DD was 2.5 was so that she could attend the preschool near us when she was 3 for 3 hours per day, then with me for the rest.
the major difference for me us that preschool has a 'proper' teacher, whereas nursery (the one near me, not all!) Was basically just teenagers.

TerraNotSoFirma · 06/03/2014 22:00

DD went three days a week, I've upped it to four for this term as she starts primary one after the school holidays.
I work weekends and loved the two days I had her all to myself. (y'know mostly)They get swallowed up into the school system all too soon. Enjoy them being small for as long as you can.

Original poster
BananaPie · 06/03/2014 22:03

Thanks, that's all very reassuring! I think the free 15 hours is different in NI than in England (we'll miss out on it by keeping her in nursery). But as others have said, preschool doesn't really work as childcare - we'd have to pay for wrap around care on the days I work.

I do take the point about proper teachers vs. teenagers working in nurseries, but I'm pretty happy with what she's being taught at nursery at the moment.

OP posts:
edwinbear · 06/03/2014 22:03

DD and DS used to go to a nursery near my work. When DS started school they both left nursery and started with a local CM who does the school runs/wrap around care for DS and looks after DD for the entire day. We will continue with that arrangement until DD joins her brother at school. With DH and I both working long hours, and the CM doing one other school run to a different school, the logistics of starting DD in a pre-school on top would be enough to make me spontaneously combust.

bobot · 06/03/2014 22:05

I'm confused by the terms here - I understand "pre-school" as being a part time class within a school for children aged 3-4, and "nursery" as being a childcare setting from birth - school age? That's how the terms are used round here, is it different in different parts of the country. Either way, I send my dd to a class within a school but only 2 mornings a week.

edwinbear · 06/03/2014 22:05

Just to add, DS only ever went to nursery, then straight to school last September. He is a late August child so youngest in his year, and is getting on absolutely fine, no problems at all.

morethanpotatoprints · 06/03/2014 22:08

Hello OP

None of mine went to nursery, pre school and dc3 doesn't go to school.
They have all turned out fine.
I don't buy this one size fits all assumption at all.
You do what's right for you and what suits your opinion and values.

TamerB · 06/03/2014 22:10

It really doesn't matter- do what suits you.