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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DH has been keeping tabs on my mumsnet posts !

62 replies

Birchwood · 27/02/2014 08:18

Name changed for obvious reasons... he read some not so nice things about himself .. Ha !

I feel a like he's invaded my privacy. I've never shared my nickname with him so he must have sneaked around a bit to find it out.

He says it's a public forum so I shouldn't mind...

OP posts:

TamerB · 27/02/2014 08:20

Of course you should mind! Having changed your name make sure you erase your history on the computer each time. Don't write anything that can identify you and change a few details.

Original poster

Birchwood · 27/02/2014 08:24

I never thought about the history ! I am careful never to give any details that could out me.. he may have been stalking me for ages !!

It's a weird thing. I know MN is public but I felt like it was my private thing.

OP posts:

Whocansay · 27/02/2014 08:29

It's a public forum yes. But he must have noticed that no-one uses their real name. Hence it's supposed to be anonymous. Tell him to stop stalking you.

and then start a thread about his small penis

MyMILisfromHELL · 27/02/2014 08:34

Why is he stalking you? Why are you spilling the beans on him, what's he done that's bad enough to plaster on a public forum? Is he controlling/abusive towards you?

MsVestibule · 27/02/2014 08:40

I hate this "it's a public forum" thing. If we used our real name and photo, then fair enough...

I was annoyed that DH even accidentally found out my user name. If I found out he ever stalked me on here, I'd be bloody furious.

TheDoctorsNewKidneys · 27/02/2014 08:42

I do think it's a risk you take when you use a forum like this. I have to say, if DP used an equivalent forum and I found out he'd been posting intimate details about our relationship or about an argument we'd had, I'd be very tempted to read more of it and to find out what he'd been saying.

I think once you know someone's talking about you, it's hard to say "oh, I'll leave them to it". It's natural for humans to be really curious about things like this, I think.

bleedingheart · 27/02/2014 08:42

It is a public forum but that's very invasive and unpleasant behaviour. Do you not get 'space' for yourself?
I'd be really annoyed if my DH did this.

evelynj · 27/02/2014 08:50

Well I'd be annoyed too but my dh reads my fb messages I'm sure. I've started using it as a way to communicate with him & carefully phrase my complaints to my friend so he knows he needs to do more housework, say how much I want something etc.

I'd be more annoyed about my dh reading the stuff not about him on here. Anyway it's clearly an invasion of privacy & you should be compensated!

magimedi · 27/02/2014 08:51

Only because I've never had the chance to get this in first:

LTB!

MrSweetPickle · 27/02/2014 08:54

BirchwoodHe shouldn't hound you, however, have you given him reason not to trust you. Have you cheated on him? If yes, then I don't blame him (extensively).

BitsinTatters · 27/02/2014 09:08

During an argument my own DP said some thing to me which was exactly what I had posted on MN about my mental health (post natal depression at the time)

He had been regularly reading my posts.

I was fucking furious. It nearly tipped me over the edge. It wasn't just one post it was ALL of them. Talking about stitches and poo etc. I I was and still am disgusted with his snooping and only think he did it because he's such a shallow twat that has secrets to hide himself. I really should LTB.

I've got a new username btw

Original poster

Birchwood · 27/02/2014 09:13

No no cheating from either of us ... I've given him no reason at all to be suspicious and posted nothing I wouldn't say to his face if I had to. Just unnerved me to know that he's been reading what I've written...

Tempting to create some posts to mess with his head now but it's really not my style...

OP posts:

mrsjay · 27/02/2014 09:14

delete your history and log out always log out this is your space to off load or just chat, he has no right to snoop on you if my dh did this i would be annoyed, I dont even moan about him just I think it is rude and snooping, why is your husband snooping does he do it elsewhere ?

kotinka · 27/02/2014 09:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 27/02/2014 09:15

I think with that thread title he'll be up to date again, good luck changing nn and don't lose this place to vent.

Suicidal5833 · 27/02/2014 09:16

My dh regularly checks my posts I am very mentally I'll and I guess it gives a guide as to how stable I am.

bodybooboo · 27/02/2014 09:17

he needs a hobby. don't tempt to play games op as that could backfire.

change your user name again. he probably is just curious about what women say to each other.

but yes I would be miffed too.

ExcuseTypos · 27/02/2014 09:20

Gosh, has he got nothing better to do?

ReadyToPopAndFresh · 27/02/2014 09:25

Mr. Birchwood, you're being pathetic (stop stalking your partner!)

birchwood maybe delete your account entirely and set up a new one? Also change your email and the password and secret questionn for it. You don't know how he found out this name and it may be that he is actually in all your other accounts.

whois · 27/02/2014 09:38

I wouldn't like to think my DP was posting about me on a forum, but I also wouldn't like it if he was checking up on what I had been posting! So I'm being a splinter bum on the fence!

Dumpylump · 27/02/2014 09:44

Dp did this to me too. I had been asking for some advice on the step boards. We had an argument about something that his dc had said and he said "well you can plaster that all over fucking Mumsnet if you like, but don't you dare put my kids on the Internet".

I had no idea he was reading my posts! I hadn't said anything that wasn't true, and was looking for advice rather than simply venting (although there's nothing wrong with a good vent).
I have name changed a couple of times since then, and we are no longer together.

MrSweetPickle · 27/02/2014 09:45

To the women saying that it's not right, if your dh/dp was posting on a MRA site would you check up on him and his posts?

I don't think that he should spy btw.

Mrsantithetic · 27/02/2014 09:47

I don't know if my Dp reads mine or not. He finds the full mn amusing and if I ever say I read it on mn he shouts " leavveee thhheeeeee bastaaard" whilst stamping his foot.

I think he is a secret mnetter

mrsjay · 27/02/2014 09:47

no I would never check up on my husband on the internet why would I need too , my dh thinks forums is a pile of poo tbh and is smug that he doesn't use them

wishingchair · 27/02/2014 09:49

He shouldn't spy but I also would want to read what my DH had said about me if he had been posting stuff about me!

I'd be annoyed at him for snooping. But I'd also be annoyed if he posted stuff about me online for all and sundry to read and judge.

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