Best friend and her PFB 1st birthday party.

[OkieDokie]

Ok so my best friends DS will be 1 in a couple of weeks. She's having a big party and I've helped her find a room and gave her some caterers numbers for the food.

She's made a few new friends from NCT and some baby groups which I'm happy about as my children are 6, 4 and 2 so probably forgotten what's like to just have a PFB.

Anyway, she told me last week that's she's got some activities like pass the parcel etc but only the one year olds can play the games. She's also renting soft play pieces and getting in some kind of face painter but again only for the 1 year olds.

She said bluntly that I was to keep my kids off the soft play stuff and make sure they don't join in. AIBU to think this is really off? There will be about 20 odd kids from 2-8 and I'm just not sure how I'll keep my 3 off the stuff. Obviously, I'll tell them not to but as I'm 7 months pregnant and I really don't need the extra pressure. The kids will be confused as every party they've been to before they have been encouraged to join in.

I don't know what to say to her and I don't want to fall out over something so silly. I think she doesn't appreciate what it's like to have older kids and wonder why she's invited people with older kids if they're expected to just sit still?

[ChasedByBees]

Don't go. She may be close to you and really want you there, but she is going to make your children really unhappy for the duration of the party. It could really affect your relationship with her and hers with them.

It would be fairer for your children not to go and you have to put them above her PFB, 1st birthday or not.

[Hotmad]

Can one year olds even play pass the parcel????

[puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE]

Thats ridiculous! How can you expect small children to refrain from going in a soft play?

I wouldn't go, it's not fair on your children.

Plus, I would not want my 1 year olds face painting

[Tiredemma]

I would love to be a fly on the wall at this party.

[bodybooboo]

when I had stopped laughing about the whole thing for a 1 year old!! face painting?? who paints a 1 year olds face and pass the parcel?? hilarious.

tell her straight she's being an idiot and you and your dcs won't be there. ridiculous!!

[puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE]

Hotmad no they can't, the parents force them to pass it round while all the kids cry because they don't understand the game.

[bodybooboo]

TiredEmma me too.

[SolomanDaisy]

She is restricting the activities to the children who will be too young for them, which is bizarre. One year olds really won't give a fuck about face paint or pass the parcel and the mobile ones will sprint away. Four hours is also insane for any child's party. You really can't go.

[BitOutOfPractice]

I am lmao at 1YOs playing pass the parcel

Sorry OP it's an awkward situation. I think you need to bring this up more forecfully with her. Even if your kids do complay with her ludicrous requests, I doubt all the other older-than-1 kids there will

Good luck - I hope you get this resolved

[ebwy]

Just tell her. someone should before she alienates herself from all the parents she knows. and she's your best friend so it's fallen to you to tell her.

[Whereisegg]

You do really need to find a way to tell her how crazy her ideas are, I thought it would be bad enough for a party of about 2 hours (which I thought was usual), but 4 hours of expecting loads of children to...well just what is she expecting the older ones to do for that length of time?!

[Clutterbugsmum]

Face painter won't paint children under 3yrs - so that will be a waste of money.

I agree with you husband. But I would explain to her while you understand how she feel you can not invite children to a party then excluded them.

So unfortunately you will not be able to attend.

[YouAreTalkingRubbish]

Sounds very daft indeed. I would tell her again, it's going to be a free for all if she doesn't do something for the older kids.

[WhereYouLeftIt]

"She said bluntly that I was to keep my kids off the soft play stuff and make sure they don't join in. AIBU to think this is really off? There will be about 20 odd kids from 2-8"

She's a complete half-wit. Why else would she invite 20 children to a party in which they're not allowed to participate? Madness! And frankly cruel.

"I don't know what to say to her and I don't want to fall out over something so silly. I think she doesn't appreciate what it's like to have older kids and wonder why she's invited people with older kids if they're expected to just sit still?"
You've got to say SOMETHING. Apart from anything else, if she goes ahead as per her current plan, she's going to have 20 older kids becoming (justifiably) increasingly fractious, with maybe a few tantrums thrown in and it would serve her right. Not a happy memory to have of her pwecious's first birthday!

I'd probably do it by asking her questions:

• So, the 20 older kids - what will they be doing while the yearlings are on the soft play? Expect a blamk look in answer to that one, so the follow up question could be along the lines of
• Seriously, you expect them to sit around the edges just watching the young ones and not want to join in? And to understand why they're not allowed to join in when I as an adult don't understand?

My final question would be along the lines of 'Why are you inviting children to a party you don't want them to take any part in? Can you really not see you'll have 20 unhappy children in the room and that there's going to be meltdowns and some MAJOR distraction for everyone from that? If you try to do this, you are not going to have good memories of this party, you are going to SHUDDER every time you think of it.

You say she's your best friend, she should be able to hear this from you. If she can't, she's not worth having as a friend.

If she goes with her current plans, I wouldn't take my children to this part, I wouldn't subject them to it. But I would go along, sit in the corner claiming 'so tired/sore with this pregnancy, I'll just sit here out of the way thanks' ; and watch the whole thing unravel. Just for fun!

[fuzzpig]

it's clearly not appropriate for your kids to go. how can you invite kids to a party and then tell them they can't use anything! fucking ridiculous.

Quite.

Can't believe she is expecting 20 older children to sit still for four jeffing hours! And expecting one year olds to play pass the parcel.

Any chance you can film the party :o

[Clutterbugsmum]

Here's a thought is she going to provide food for everyone (as it's 4 hours) or just the 1yr olds.

[Showy]

Oh I so want to go to this party. Because you say 'face painting and pass the parcel' but in a 1yo's world that's a strange person coming at you and jabbing at your face and then enforced having a shiny present repeatedly thrust at you and taken away. Barrel of bloody laughs.

[NeonMuffin]

Who the hell hires a caterer for a first birthday party?!

[BrandNewIggi]

Well she'll either get the truth from the OP in advance of the party, or will see the carnage with her own eyes on the day. And if by some chance everyone does do exactly what mumzilla wants, there will still be fallout as she will be talked about for years!

[formerbabe]

You should definitely go...so you can come back and tell us all about it!

[LoopyDoopyDoo]

You have to tell her, or she'll have no friends left

[WooWooOwl]

It's all very nice that you're close to her and that your children like her child and you've been through lots together etc etc, but you need to put your own children first here.

It is plain mean to take children to a children's party and then tell them they aren't allowed to join in.

And can you honestly see yourself telling other people that they can't let their children join in and that going well for any of you? You can see that your friends behaviour is crazy from the responses on this thread, do you really want to join her in her crazy?

Apart from anything else, if your friend is making it your responsibility to prevent other children from playing, she is likely to blame you when it doesn't work. Because let's face it, it's not going to work, is it?

[WhereYouLeftIt]

Oh dear lord, just seen the post about the banner!


I agree with Nanny0gg on that one - " She knows she'll get flack and she wants to avoid it by using you." That's quite calculating and not a little manipulative. Are you sure this woman is a friend? A firm 'no' is required for that lovely little request of hers.

WHY is she inviting the older children? WHY?

[2tiredtocare]

What does she want the banner to say?!?!...