Best friend and her PFB 1st birthday party.

[OkieDokie]

Ok so my best friends DS will be 1 in a couple of weeks. She's having a big party and I've helped her find a room and gave her some caterers numbers for the food.

She's made a few new friends from NCT and some baby groups which I'm happy about as my children are 6, 4 and 2 so probably forgotten what's like to just have a PFB.

Anyway, she told me last week that's she's got some activities like pass the parcel etc but only the one year olds can play the games. She's also renting soft play pieces and getting in some kind of face painter but again only for the 1 year olds.

She said bluntly that I was to keep my kids off the soft play stuff and make sure they don't join in. AIBU to think this is really off? There will be about 20 odd kids from 2-8 and I'm just not sure how I'll keep my 3 off the stuff. Obviously, I'll tell them not to but as I'm 7 months pregnant and I really don't need the extra pressure. The kids will be confused as every party they've been to before they have been encouraged to join in.

I don't know what to say to her and I don't want to fall out over something so silly. I think she doesn't appreciate what it's like to have older kids and wonder why she's invited people with older kids if they're expected to just sit still?

[FunkyBoldRibena]

I personally think that having your friend tell you what goes on might give fuel to your other friend's fire if she find out. I'd just step away entirely.

[Perfectlypurple]

There's a big difference between gossiping 'oooh you will never guess what so and so is doing' and speaking to her friends dh because she is concerned.

Hopefully when your friend gets past this op she will realise this and realise you only ever had her best interests at heart.

[Hissy]

All's not lost yet Okie, she'll see what you were trying to do at some point, and that it came from love, not criticism.

[apermanentheadache]

Okie I would imagine that your friend is angry because she has been sprung. Her secret, which she has been trying to hide for months, is now out. A lot of people try to bat away mental illness by 'putting on a brave face' and doing a good show of coping 'brilliantly'. If you and her DH are now on the case, she can't really pretend any more. That might be hard for her to accept, hence the lashing out at you and pushing you away.

[apermanentheadache]

Plus most people are still mortally embarrassed by MH problems. She is likely embarrassed she's been talked about and finds being the subject of other people's concern hard to take.

FWIW I think you did the right thing x

[TattyDevine]

SERIOUSLY?

[apermanentheadache]

Tatty is that to me? Yes, seriously. I have been where the friend was, sort of, and I'm speaking from experience. Everyone was very concerned, driven to talk to each other, but I was very much in denial and outraged at their implications. Even though with hindsight they were 100% correct. I did need help, and fast.

[changeforthebetter]

You lost me at "caterers for a first birthday party"

Your "friend" is a fucking loon and deserves a very wide berth.

HTJ

[puntasticusername]

change

Read.
The.
Fucking.
Thread.

[Perfectlypurple]

Hate it when people don't RTFT!

Her friend is not a loon. She is suffering and needs help but won't accept it.

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

Her friend is suffering, but at the same time she has treated the OP absolutely appallingly and the OP is right to be upset.

OP I think you've done all you could and that you should just focus on your own baby and family for the moment. If she decides to sort herself out and wants to re-establish the friendship in future then you decide how you feel about her at that point.

I've had PND, I know it is hard to see the wood for the trees and accept that you have a problem. But you don't start accusing your friends of shagging your husband on the basis of nothing.

[Evie2014]

Poor Okie. I think you did the right thing. I feel very sorry for your friend as clearly there are serious issues there. I really hope that things work out- i feel sure they will.

Don't let the thread stress you out just because of a couple of bigmouths.

[CarolineKnappShappey]

How was the party?

[HolidayCriminal]

.