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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to never buy a home?

120 replies

rosesareredvioletsarepurple · 18/02/2014 19:51

Some new flats are going on sale soon near (ish) where we live that are eligible for the help to buy scheme. They start at £350,000 for a one bedroom. Even with help to buy that's £18,000 for the deposit and then about ten grand for stamp duty (I think I've got that right?)

I'm in my early 30s and would like children so it seems silly to get a one bed when a two bed would be more suitable long term. But maybe I'm being spoilt thinking we need two bedrooms.

Either way, £30,000 is still not going to happen. Even if we can scrimp and save for years, we couldn't save if we had children (I've looked and nursery fees here are £1200+ per month)

All my friends are on the ladder but not one has done it alone. They've all been given or have inherited money. Even those who think they've done it alone have in reality lived rent and bill free for years saving them thousands per year. Never been an option for us.

My parents think we're wrong for renting but don't understand how difficult it is (my parents bought a four bed detached home in a lovely area in their 20s and did it entirely alone).

AIBU to never own a home and to feel a bit sad about it?

OP posts:
JeanSeberg · 18/02/2014 19:53

How would you manage when you retire, that would be my main concern.

Would you consider moving to an affordable part of the country? You could buy a 3-bed detached for far far less than that where I am - south Manchester.

formerbabe · 18/02/2014 19:53

Where do you live?! If you are in central/inner London, you could move out to outer/greater London and get lots more for the money...

RandomMess · 18/02/2014 19:53

YANBU, perhaps one day you can move away where housing is affordable?

EBearhug · 18/02/2014 19:56

I'm with you. In my 40s and don't expect ever to own a home. Parents never did and they're dead now, and left just enough to cover the funeral costs.

CrohnicallyFarting · 18/02/2014 19:56

Not everywhere in the country is so expensive, a 2 bed terrace will set you back around £100k here (even cheaper if you get a rundown one and fix it up, or go in a less popular area). So you have a choice between living where you do now, and moving in order to buy.

LordEmsworth · 18/02/2014 19:57

£350k for a one bed flat!!! Why would you?!?

I used to live in London and decided owning my own home was a priority and I'd never afford it in London - so I moved out of London. I realise not everyone may feel they have the option to do that - and I definitely would have a better career if I were still in London - but that was my choice.

Oh, and I did do it on my own - lived in houseshares and saved a deposit over a few years. But I couldn't have saved £30k, I admit.

sarahquilt · 18/02/2014 19:58

I can relate to what you're saying. My husband and I live in a rented flat and are in our early 30s and I don't feel too bothered about buying. To be honest the is just hitting the fan environment-wise. Climate change this century will be catastrophic, so I think the nature of home ownership is going to change.

soverylucky · 18/02/2014 19:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
rosesareredvioletsarepurple · 18/02/2014 19:59

We live in outer London, both work in London and both already spend two hours a day commuting. Our friends and family are here or nearby too.

How do people move away? Look for jobs further out and then move? Or just double your commute? With expensive train travel of course

OP posts:
Pobblewhohasnotoes · 18/02/2014 20:04

Where are you looking in London where one beds cost that much? I live in London too and they don't cost that much. London is ridiculous mind, we bought a little while ago and prices have rocketed since.

BingoWingsBeGone · 18/02/2014 20:04

Can you start by asking him to transfer a few hundred by direct debit to a seprate account and you transfer the same or pro rata to your income as an 'experiment' to see if he misses it.

Then never mention it again and on a few months up the dd's if all is still ok to live on?

Dh and I do this as he is a terrible spender if he has money in his account but actually good if not.

Occasionally we dip into it for non 'big' purchases but pretty much get traction of c.75% to pay for bigger things for house/car/garden etc

TheGreatHunt · 18/02/2014 20:07

Where are you in London?!!.
Save for a deposit just in case things change. Also it sounds like you need to move to somewhere with a shorter commute.

BingoWingsBeGone · 18/02/2014 20:12

We moved away from friends and family - dh secured a relocation with his job and I requested an internal transfer in my job to a regional office.

Lower pay but WAY lower living costs (including cm by about 50% by chance Shock)

After DC my company made me redundant anyway (would have happened whichever office I was in) and I found a great job in my rural area PT and well paid and short commute.

Although it seems like you can't escape, you really can. I am in financial services btw so very London centric but not exclusively so

velvetspoon · 18/02/2014 20:17

I live in greater London (zone 4/5), there are 2 or sometimes 3 bed houses for £250' round here. Friends are slightly further out in another party Zone 6, houses there are even cheaper £200k for 3 beds. Not cheap by standards elsewhere in uK I'll admit, but not bad for fringes of London.

There is nothing wrong with not owning your own home, but with the lack of social housing it's a potentially precarious position, especially in old age. I have a couple of friends who are on low-ish incomes and rent their flats. Both are single and tbh I do wonder how they'll manage when they get too old to work.

Original poster
rosesareredvioletsarepurple · 18/02/2014 20:18

Neither of us want to leave London, especially DP. Our whole lives are here.

It does look like the choice is either live in London and rent or move away and have a chance of buying. But even if a home was £200k the deposit would be a lot and we would travel and spend money to see friends and family a lot.

We live in she urban London. All new builds are very expensive but there are very few of them but of course it's only new builds eligible for help to buy

OP posts:
Original poster
rosesareredvioletsarepurple · 18/02/2014 20:19

Dp's parents rent and are old. They will never retire and I think we will end up having to financially support them.

OP posts:
Original poster
rosesareredvioletsarepurple · 18/02/2014 20:20

*suburban not she urban Smile

OP posts:
TheGreatHunt · 18/02/2014 20:21

But where and where do you work? Let mn find you a home!

Littleturkish · 18/02/2014 20:25

I don't want to buy a property. I like being a renter. My DH has other ideas and we'll probably buy. But I don't see the appeal. I think it's a lot of money, a lot of responsibility, without the benefits you used to get. Loads of great rental opportunities with good landlords. I love renting and although it will be nice to buy, part of me would like to rent forever. And when I'm old, I'll, ummm, well, I have a short life expectancy. I can't plan that far ahead!

Original poster
rosesareredvioletsarepurple · 18/02/2014 20:29

I work on the fringes of London TheGreat, near Denham in Bucks and DP works in the city (without the big city salary sadly Grin ) We live near Wembley.

I'm looking for a new job though.

OP posts:
MoreBeta · 18/02/2014 20:30

I lived in rented houses until last year and was very happy. We have children but saw no need to settle and buy a house. I am age 50 now.

We did buy though last year because we downsized from a large rented house and our children will be gone in 10 years time and we want to protect ourselves against future inflation in rents.

We bought the smallest house we could fit into with children. We no longer need a big garden - they play football, rugby, cricket and row at school.

It was a decision we made as part of a financial plan for when we are old.

In my view age 30 is far too young to buy in todays uncertain job market and frankly the Help to Buy schemes are an extremely bad proposition financially. They are there to help housebuilders and banks - not you.

Rent the house you need. Ignore your parents. People are obsessed with owning houses. Older people forget they just got very lucky buying houses, usually on a 3 x full time salary in a secure job. Its not like that now.

People in Germany don't obsess about buying houses. They rent until they are older.

CynicalandSmug · 18/02/2014 20:32

I will never be able to own, I cannot commute 400 miles between my job and so called affordable property. There is no where I can live rent free to enable saving. And as I love my independence and detest constant company marriage is out of the question!

All my mortgaged mates inherited or scrounged from family, I don't know anyone that 'did it alone'. Oh well, thats life. But OP, do watch for the usual daft ideas that pop up on these threads, rarely have I seen anything practical come out of it.

RandomMess · 18/02/2014 20:52

You may actually better off seeing if you could buy a retirement apartment with your dh's parents as a financial investment? Move them outwards and perhaps it's doable?

You would still need a deposit but the mortgage would be split between you all or something? Just a longer term thought...

WhoNickedMyName · 18/02/2014 20:54

As long as you've got some kind of financial plan in place that will pay your rent when you're too old to work any longer, then sure, rent for ever.

Original poster
rosesareredvioletsarepurple · 18/02/2014 21:16

And for those that can't afford to save that kind of money for retirement and/or buy a house WhoNicked?

OP posts: