Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think this was just childish?

28 replies

Hegsy · 13/02/2014 09:43

Office of 6 people, 3 in from 8.15ish so all have a first cuppa then, 1 in at half 8(but she doesn't drink tea/coffee) 2 guys in at 9 normally one of the 9am guys makes tea when he comes in and we all have a second cup.

There have been some office issues of late but we all still do the polite thing and offer everyone tea/coffee when we make one, until this morning, 9am guy only makes him and other 9am guy his tea and doesn't offer anyone else.

AIBU to think this is just utterly childish? I mean really? He's thirty fucking four! Though he does still go in huffs when he decides he's been 'upset'

Ok I know this is petty but still.......

OP posts:
PandaFeet · 13/02/2014 09:47

No really, its very petty. No "but still".

Its just petty office nonsense. If I ever work in an office and get my knickers in a twist over cups of tea I want someone to slap me.

pixiepotter · 13/02/2014 09:53

ha ha a 'selfish brew'
It's only once, I would let it go!!

ImaginaryPoster · 13/02/2014 09:53

I couldn't get worked up about this. He was being polite by making everyone one but now is just making for people who haven't yet had one. Can't see an issue.

Why should he make you one? You have just had one.

Petty would be if he asked the earlier staff to make one for him and put it in a thermos cup. Or continued to make yours and spat in it.

Original poster
Hegsy · 13/02/2014 09:58

Ha ha ok fair point, I've not really got my knickers in a twist over that, its just the final straw iyswim? but to go into it all would be highly complicated and 'out' me due to the industry we work in.

I actually found it really rude and I suppose I regarded him as a bit of a friend and dispite his regular huffs I've had a lot of time for him, including spending a lot of time on the phone talking him through stuff when he was on the verge of losing his job

imaginary thats a thought that'll fester! lol

OP posts:
GTA5MASTER · 13/02/2014 10:03

My husband sometimes gets up to make a brew and forgets to make me one, he's not my brew bitch so I can't complain ;-)
Not really worth getting uptight over though is it op.

CaptainGrinch · 13/02/2014 10:08

This is precisely why I don't make any other fecker a brew. It's a standing joke in my team - but I have the last laugh as I've made & drunk mine before they've even finished arguing over whose turn it is!

Fly Solo - 'Tis the only way...

PandaFeet · 13/02/2014 10:10

So he's no longer your friend because he didn't make you a cup of tea? Confused

Original poster
Hegsy · 13/02/2014 10:19

No Panda, sorry that didn't come out right, seems like he's in another mood, barely said two words this morning(well to us) he's talking to the guy he works directly with so we've obviously upset him - AGAIN! and I can't be arsed trying anymore, got a lot of family problems at the moment including DH great gran is dying(had a stroke last Thurdsday) so pandering to man child is bottom of my list. Normally when he gets like this I would be extra nice and jokey with him to bring it out of him but I really cannot be bothered with it.

In fact I'm probably just extra grumpy just now and letting things bother me that shouldn't, sorry, I'll retire to my corner.

OP posts:
BlueDesmarais · 13/02/2014 10:20

I used to work on the phones and we'd be penalised for taking too long off the phone. I utterly opted out of all tea drinking and making for this reason. You had to ask around 15 people what they wanted to drink, remember all their likes and possibly write it all down, then slowly carry 15 cups back to the bank of desks. If you got one wrong, everyone hated you. If you forgot someone who wasn't at their desk when you asked, everyone hated you. If you didn't get such-a-body's mate one from another team, everyone hated you.

I just stuck my head down, stayed on the phone, never made a brew and never accepted one. Leave me out of strange tea games.

It's not rude. It means people have better things to do than ensure every single person's delicate tea feelings are met.

ViviPru · 13/02/2014 10:22

For some reason I loathe the word 'cuppa'.

That is all.

GertBySea · 13/02/2014 10:22

Quiet day at work, OP?!

PandaFeet · 13/02/2014 10:29

Just ignore him. Maybe he's got crap going on at home too.

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 13/02/2014 10:32

So you're allowed to be having a crappy time out of the office but he's not.

You had a cup of tea earlier. He made the other chap one. I can't see the problem. Yes you're being petty

GhostsInSnow · 13/02/2014 10:35

My dick of a BIL is king of the 'selfish brew'. On a family holiday once (kindly paid for, for all of us by the in laws) we are all sat on the beach when he gets up heads to the tea van, buys himself a cuppa, returns and sits down. I look at him and say "No thanks, but thanks for offering" I then go and get my MIL and FIL a drink myself.

Amusing thing was on the way back from getting his own drink he lost his wallet.
Karma works in wonderful ways.

meganorks · 13/02/2014 10:37

We don't make drinks in our office (out the machine) and its massive so you only get for select group anyway. But I always go with first drink of the day fine to just come in and get your own while getting settled. After that offer everyone.

But if that's not how it works in your office then yanbu.

Stinklebell · 13/02/2014 10:40

When I last worked in an office there was a lot of passive aggressive tea making going on

Lots of pointedly leaving people out of a tea round, and yes, it was childish

DorisAllTheDay · 13/02/2014 10:41

Sounds like it's not really about this morning's cup of tea, but about a general lack of mutuality in your working relationship. From what you've said, you've provided support for him but you don't get anything back apart from moodiness and him only socialising on his terms. YANBU. I used to work with someone like that - it got very wearing having to constantly look out for him and put in the effort to jolly him along when he felt like being miserable and uncommunicative. In the end I gave up and just left him to it which meant there was often a bit of an atmosphere in the office but I ran out of time and energy to do anything else. I suggest you decide how much time and energy you have for this guy, and then try not to mind if he goes into his little strops. Let him make himself miserable if he wants, but try not to let it affect you.

lookingfoxy · 13/02/2014 10:45

FFS im glad I dont do office work anymore, I forgot about the petty bitching.

AnotherMonkey · 13/02/2014 10:46

'Passive aggressive tea making'

That has absolutely made my morning Grin

CoffeeTea103 · 13/02/2014 10:59

Ffs grow up! It's a nice gesture but you not bound to it. You say you have a lot going on but how do you find the time being so petty. It's a cup of coffee go make it yourself and move on!

jammiedonut · 13/02/2014 10:59

Reminds me why I went for mobile working. My old office there were at least a dozen single pint cartons of milk as no one wanted to share. Ditto boxes of tea bags. I fucking hated making tea as, being 21, they would all (much older bully types) bollock me if I got the wrong milk, or used the wrong tea bags. None of the dirty buggers would wash their cups either. Don't get me started on the microwave. Aargh offices give me the rage. It's only tea!

JackNoneReacher · 13/02/2014 11:08

I hate these 'brew rounds'. I hate people making me drinks with incorrect quantities of milk/coffee/tea. I'm a perfectionist anal

Just get your own.

Blankiefan · 13/02/2014 11:13

GTA5 "brew bitch"; genius Grin... I'm using that with DH (who is totally my brew bitch - I just never knew it before!)

Finnbheara · 13/02/2014 11:17

Fascinating Grin I spent a few weeks temping once upon a time and noticed this sort of thing going on. I felt like David Attenbourough.

iloveweetos · 13/02/2014 11:18

Lol I always just made my own tea. I hate making tea as it is and to have my one cup I have to make 10 others. Remembering different teas and coffees and sugars and milk. Just can't be bothered with it. I'd rather be seen as selfish tbh!!
I got flamed last time on I said this on mn lol