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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

because i definitely think i am fucking not.

28 replies

harriet247 · 12/02/2014 19:40

My idiot dp drunk drove this morning. He finished drinking laat night around midnight. He told me he'd had 3 pints, a bottle of wine and cocktails, in about a 4 hour window.
He got up and drove to work at 6am.am i right in thinking he was over the limit and is a stupid selfish arsehole?
I waited til dd was fast asleep and told him i was really angry and he said initially he was fine to drive. I showed him a government website which said he was not legal to drive until 1pm today. Minimum.
He just shrugged and said he didnt not.
He does know!!we're always watching police crap programs and cringing at the silly business men getting pulled over, fined and banned.
He has done this before when i was pregnant and i went ballistic and threatened to leave. He doeant even seem to care.
For perspectives sake, if he lost his driving license he would also lose his job and we would probably lose our home.

OP posts:
JumpingJackSprat · 12/02/2014 19:41

Rather he lost his license than someone else lose their life. What are you going to do?

SJisontheway · 12/02/2014 19:42

YANBU. No excuse

Sammie101 · 12/02/2014 19:42

YANBU! How irresponsible of him to drive, he could have hit someone!! Confused

MrsMcEnroe · 12/02/2014 19:42

YANBU.

BUT you threatened to leave last time he did it. Now he's done it again. Are you leaving him this time?

Not an easy one to answer, I know. Much sympathy for you, as I think you have a big decision to make ...

TheReluctantCountess · 12/02/2014 19:42

Yanbu.

K999 · 12/02/2014 19:43

YANBU....he was over the limit......!!

Only1scoop · 12/02/2014 19:44

Yanbu

Disgusting....please warn us if he's on the road again incase he kills our loved ones.

YouStayClassySanDiego · 12/02/2014 19:45

He's a twat.

You're not unreasonable to be upset, you've threatened to leave in the past and he's continued to drive under the influencem so he doesn't give a bollocks.

What do you plan to do?

Guitargirl · 12/02/2014 19:46

He's an idiot and you are not being unreasonable to be absolutely livid.

What are you going to do?

Joysmum · 12/02/2014 19:49

To not realise is one thing, to know and to still go ahead is dreadful.

TwelveLeggedWalk · 12/02/2014 19:50

YANBU

He might have been over-egging how much he drank pretty puerile to do this with anyone let alone your wife but if he'd drunk even half of that he'd have been waaaay over the limit.

Original poster
harriet247 · 12/02/2014 19:50

I dont know :( how can i trust him? We have a one year old and he is a fantastic dad but he is so arrogant he thinks hes in the right. Ive come upstairs because i cant bear to look at him.hes so responsible in every othrr aspect of his life and only drinks about 4 times a year,but every time he does he acts like an idiot.

OP posts:
Ememem84 · 12/02/2014 19:51

Not unreasonable. Ring the police and ask their advice.

Original poster
harriet247 · 12/02/2014 19:51

No if anything he would have drank more than that (used to do lots of rugby etc so can drink for britain)

OP posts:
Alisvolatpropiis · 12/02/2014 19:52

Yanbu.

I was with you from the words "drunk drove".

Your dp is a fucking idiot.

Ememem84 · 12/02/2014 19:53

I sympathise. Dh too only drinks a few times a year (as in goes out and gets totally sloshed). He has a tendency to get naked and run around town.

The first time it was funny. The second amusing. The third he got arrested. And I let the police take him to the cells and keep him overnight.

They didn't give him his clothes back until morning.

MrsBW · 12/02/2014 20:17

I am the first to not over react when it comes to having a drink and then (after a sensible time) driving. I will have a large glass of wine and drive an hour later. Or a bottle of wine and drive early-ish the next morning.

According to the info you've given, your P was well over the limit at 6am.

Buy him a breathalyser off Amazon. Then he won't be able to deny it.

DevonFolk · 12/02/2014 20:40

I was also going to suggest getting a breathalyser. Harder to worm his way out of it then.

If I were in your position I wouldn't think twice about informing the police the moment he got behind the wheel.

nkf · 12/02/2014 20:42

It's unforgiveable behaviour. What are you going to do?

Cravey · 12/02/2014 20:59

I would have reported him. What if he had killed someone ? Selfish bastard !!!

Calloh · 12/02/2014 21:44

That is rubbish of him. I agree with Devon and MrsBW, get him a breathalyser.

Tell him that 1 in 5 drink driving accidents happen the morning after. It is the truth. That of if happens again for his safety and the safety of others on the road that you will call the police and you will have him arrested. I know you would lose so much OP, hopefully he'll realise that too but nobody will lose their lives.

CaterpillarCara · 12/02/2014 21:45

Someone doing this drove into the side of our property early one morning and nearly killed himself. It is deadly serious, literally.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 12/02/2014 21:50

I'm wondering where this figures on the 'league table' of LTB points?

I think it's right up there with adultery, maybe even higher. What are you going to do, OP? It may be his own child he kills but it could just as easily be somebody else's. He needs a message that he can't drink and drive, no matter how persuasive he is in giving himself permission to do that.

Drunk drivers make me so angry. Angry

CaterpillarCara · 12/02/2014 21:52

Absolutely near the very, very top of the LTB table for me.

A drunk driver, in one move, killed five of my school friends. Another friend of mine was the cop on duty who had to tell the families. On Christmas Eve.

This is real life and death stuff, OP. Think very hard.

brettgirl2 · 12/02/2014 21:58

You don't know for certain he was over the limit. He probably was but some people get back quicker than others. I watched a programme on telly about it a while back and was Shock about some people not being over.

Get him a breathalyser definitely then no argument.