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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be put off donating to charity?

35 replies

kateclarke · 12/02/2014 16:17

I booked a collection for today, of some old stuff no longer needed.

It was good stuff, a sideboard and electricals that I could have sold but chose to donate.

The people who collected were so rude that i wish I had not bothered. I don't expect them to be on their knees with gratitude, but a smile and a thanks would be nice.

This has happened before with another charity, and I just don't understand their attitude.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 12/02/2014 16:20

They're drivers on a minimum wage

It's cold, wet and windy

No excuse for rudeness but maybe a good reason not to smile at everyone who opens the front door?

Original poster
kateclarke · 12/02/2014 16:35

I can see your point, but does that mean that everyone on minimum wage can do what they want?

I have been a care assistant on minimum wage and was polite and kind and was not rude to people.

OP posts:
LaGuardia · 12/02/2014 16:47

But they saved you a trip to the dump didn't they Confused

Original poster
kateclarke · 12/02/2014 16:50

No, I could have sold the stuff I donated.

OP posts:
WooWooOwl · 12/02/2014 16:50

YANBU to stop donating to charity if you don't want to, but it is a very easy and convenient way of getting rid of unwanted furniture.

I don't think you can blame the charity for the attitude of the drivers.

Bowlersarm · 12/02/2014 16:50

Yanbu, as they would have sold easily on eBay

Think of the bigger picture though, and it is great that they have benefitted a charity.

Shallishanti · 12/02/2014 16:52

Or possibly they are volunteers/trainees and yet to learn how to treat customers
Our local furniture recycling charity does a lot of retraining etc

Original poster
kateclarke · 12/02/2014 17:58

Thanks everyone. Maybe IABU, but I think I will stick to donating small items that I can take into the shop and money. This will avoid me having rude people in my home.

OP posts:
HoratiaDrelincourt · 12/02/2014 18:05

You can sell on eBay with a percentage to your chosen charity - best of both worlds?

CorusKate · 12/02/2014 18:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

redandyellowbits · 12/02/2014 18:38

Yanbu - I have stopped taking stuff to one particular shop exactly for that reason.

I don't expect fawning but a polite thank you is just basic manners.

VivaLeBeaver · 12/02/2014 18:42

I took a perfectly decent pram to the local charity shop. It was a bit faded but clean and in good condition. The wheels had that sort of ingrained dirt from plenty of use. The woman screwed her nose up and said they wouldn't be able to sell it and could I scrub the wheels and bring it in. I took it to the tip.

VegetariansTasteLikeChicken · 12/02/2014 19:31

The volunteers are trying to help a cause.

You donating are helping a cause.

Maybe neither of you really owes the other a thank you?

CorusKate · 12/02/2014 19:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheReluctantCountess · 12/02/2014 19:40

Yanbu. I once (over ten years ago, when videos were still mainstream) took my entire Friends video collection to a charity shop. The man there actually tutted at me.

Joysmum · 12/02/2014 19:46

I think you've list sight of why you chose to donate. Your donations can do good and you shouldn't forget that.

MistressDeeCee · 12/02/2014 19:50

It costs nothing to be polite. If people are giving to charity from the goodness of their heart, why not thank them? Its not hard and it takes 2 seconds. We live in the real world - whether charity or business if you show bad face to people then they wont want to deal with you and that's that really.

CorusKate · 12/02/2014 19:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

McFox · 12/02/2014 19:55

I don't think that you should allow a few people to tarnish your view of donating. In the past 2 days I've had 2 collections from my home, one from women's aid, and another from a local housing charity, and the people were very polite, very lovely and absolutely grateful.

I suppose it just depends on the person doing the collecting, but ultimately you are not helping them, you are helping someone else further down the line.

Joysmum · 12/02/2014 19:56

Tbh I think anyone who gets put off donating by the face the deal with is being ridiculous! Yes, be pissed off but remember you aren't donating to the person in front of you, you are donating to a person that needs your help.

If I were donating to Shelter and changed my mind due to a rude charity worker, a homeless person is the one that suffers from me being offended, not the rude person. Rudeness is annoying and yes I'd be upset but this isn't about the person stood in front of me.

CorusKate · 12/02/2014 20:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DejaVuAllOverAgain · 12/02/2014 20:54

like which one is nearest the bus stop

Yep Grin I did exactly that once with two bin bags full of clothes once.

OP YANBU As has been said these people are representing their charity. As there are so many charities to choose from you'd think they'd want to leave you feeling good so you'll want to donate to them again, not go elsewhere.

HeartShapedBox · 12/02/2014 22:09

yanbu, op.

I don't donate to a particular charity shop due to rude, unpleasant staff. shame, as one man is really nice and welcoming, ( and I wait until he's on the till to pop in for a few paperbacks) but every other staff member I've had dealings with have been awful.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 12/02/2014 22:13

I know this is one of the posts that some people on here will groan at, but - some people who volunteer for charities are doing that because they have disabilities that prevent them from doing other work. I used to volunteer for Oxfam with a woman who had quite severe SEN. She was actually very smiley and friendly, but she wouldn't necessarily have thanked you for making a donation or said exactly the right thing. So do bear in mind that it's not quite like going to a shop where 'front of house' staff are employed for their ability to be socially nice to you.

mrsjay · 12/02/2014 22:16

you know maybe they were just grumpy buggers I know it is annoying but maybe the drivers were wet and cold and just rude least the stuff is gone from under your feet now, I have donated things to places the pick up people were not very chatty they just came got it and left really