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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think he may have exaggerated his illness

23 replies

clockwatching77 · 09/02/2014 20:22

Dh had an episode of fainting last month. We were all really concerned and he was taken to hospital to be checked over. He was fine in the end.
Today he woke up complaining about feeling similar to how he felt before the fainting. I was naturally concerned and cancelled my plans for the morning. He dozed on the sofa although I noticed that when out of the room managed to tell toddler dd not to do x etc.
By 11am he was well enough to spend hours on the pc playing some strategy game. Since than he has rested by playing pc games and watching tv. He has even managed to open and drink a can of cider but is not well enough to put it in recycling.
Aibu to think he has been milking it?

OP posts:

londonrach · 09/02/2014 20:26

Of course he isnt. Man illness is really bas. He needs time to relax and recover on the pc. Make sure you cook him a full 5 course meal and bring it to him for a tv dinner. Also he might need another beer....

CouthyMow · 09/02/2014 20:28

Nope. YANBU. He is using this as an excuse to check out of family life. I have epilepsy and am the main Carer for my 4 DC 's, as I'm a lone parent. They all have different SN's. Doesn't mean that because I 'feel funny ' that I get to check out of looking after them or doing stuff with them or cooking dinner for them...I also have arthritis.

He's being a lazy cock-end, IMO!

londonrach · 09/02/2014 20:28

Bad not bas.... (serious of one moment here please get dh checked out at doctor - suggest telling him doctor is a bar with free beer on tap...)

sarahquilt · 09/02/2014 20:30

Bit harsh I think OP. He was prob just feeling a bit better.

whomadeyougod · 09/02/2014 20:43

doesnt everyone have a pretend headache to get away from kids and chores now and again .

Floggingmolly · 09/02/2014 20:45

You took him to hospital to be checked over after fainting??
He's playing up to your totally exaggerated concern.

MyBachisworsethanmybite · 09/02/2014 20:55

YABU. He might be frightened of it happening again.

Iwannalaylikethisforever · 09/02/2014 20:56

Malingering...... Love this word. Is also quite apt in this situ :-)

Topaz25 · 09/02/2014 21:05

Maybe he overreacted after the previous incidents and then started to feel better. Nothing wrong with playing it safe for the day just to be sure. Although he should take regular screen breaks because staring at a screen for hours won't help. I would only wonder if he was milking it if this became a regular occurrence with no medical explanation. Is it possible he has low blood pressure? My DM has this and it can cause fainting. It is not serious and usually doesn't need treatment but she has to be careful not to stand up to suddenly as that can trigger fainting.

HadABadDay2014 · 09/02/2014 21:10

Couthy do you have any support, that sound incredible hard.

What would bother me the most is that he is drinking cider when he supposed to be too ill to do his share of housework and childcare.

hearthwitch · 09/02/2014 21:20

if he's not feeling we'll then he shouldn't really be drinking or playing games. off to bed with him, no tv and only bread and water just in case.

CouthyMow · 09/02/2014 23:08

Support? Not much... I get on with it though, it's kind of what you do, when you have DC's. Unlike the OP's partner, who seems to be using the excuse of 'feeling a bit funny' as a way of fucking off to play computer games...

deakymom · 09/02/2014 23:18

yep getting on with it here too i came down with violent sickness and diarrhea thursday same time as the baby i still ended up doing all the washing and trying to do the ironing the day after because he said he felt a bit upset tummyish then he milks it for days ive since had to clean up after another two children and me and the baby are still unwell (him more than me) he is on his x-box

WooWooOwl · 09/02/2014 23:24

Maybe he is milking it slightly, but having a lazy Sunday isn't a crime when you've woken up feeling a bit crap after a recent illness, even when you're a parent. OP and her DH are not single parents, so their situation is not comparable to a single parent family.

I wouldn't even think twice about it unless it became a regular occurrence, but then DH and I both have lazy days occasionally, it's give and take.

Original poster

clockwatching77 · 10/02/2014 10:23

He has high blood pressure so is on meds. Last time he was on his own and he called ambulance. The paramedics felt it serious enough to take him in.
They think taking 2 types of blood pressure meds together resulted in blood pressure drop.
I guess I am getting abit fed up of always being the one holding the fort. I get ill too but I generally just have to get on with it.

OP posts:

MatryoshkaDoll · 10/02/2014 10:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JoinYourPlayfellows · 10/02/2014 10:30

If you're well enough to be boozing, you're well enough to get off your arse and put the can in the bin.

Feminine · 10/02/2014 10:48

Well your latest up-date makes for a whole different perspective.

Your DH has a condition, his meds caused a reaction.

This might happen again. You will need to prepare for that.

Good luck :)

MyBachisworsethanmybite · 10/02/2014 11:10

YABU double!

You nasty cow. Glad you're nowhere near me when I am ill.

Birdsgottafly · 10/02/2014 11:52

I have Low Blood Pressure, as well as other health problems.

There are days that I take it really easy, it would lead to illness, if I didn't. I can read my body and my previous Partner would accuse me of being lazy, we had no children together and he didn't live with me.

I play games to pass the time, sometimes I can't concentrate to read, if I am headachy.

I do manage my health, though.

If I have a lot on, I watch my diet and wouldn't think about drinking alcohol.

Is he honestly doing enough to improve his health? That's the part that I would lose respect about and what would annoy me.

Original poster

clockwatching77 · 10/02/2014 12:18

I think you hit the nail on the head birds. His diet is very high fat. He does not exercise. His initially complained of feeling sick due to being sinussy. Well I have that condition too and I now take a nasal spray. Job dkne. He was prescribed a nasal spray previously but didn't give it a chance to work. He was told he fainted last time because he took both tablets in the morning. Now he appears to have just stopped taking one of them.
I think I was also abit less sympathical because I was supposed to be taking older dc to an event which would count towards cubs/beaver badges and they were upset.
Also he never actually felt faint. Just felt sinussy and headachy.
I guess my response was also tarnished by the fact that he wasn't exactly proactive lookingafter one dc whilst I was out with 2 on Saturday. When I suggested he should of changed nappy Ihe. Than claimed that I sat on my arse all day whilst he was ag work.
Of course toddlers look after themselves, the dishwasher is self loading, 5 and 9 year old walk themselves to school and clubs an wd have a laundry, and ticy up fairy.
Sorry digressing.

OP posts:

Original poster

clockwatching77 · 10/02/2014 12:19

Sorry for typos but you get the ides. Fat fingers and tablets don't go.

OP posts:

Original poster

clockwatching77 · 15/02/2014 08:11

An update. Ok he probably was scared and was unwell at the time. I was too when he said he felt like he did first thing On the day he virtually fainted. Fortunately he recovered quickly and it didn't escalate.
I guess I just get frustrated that when I. Am poorly I just have to get on with it. I had months of sciatica in the morning but had to get up and carry on. I had a bout of diarrhea one saturday and it didn't occur to dhto cancel footbsll as he had a season ticket.
This week I have had a head cold, poppy ears, congested sinus despite taking nasal spray. Was actually sick last night.
Dh came home from work early whilst I was doing dinner for dc. I said. I was going to have arest etc. Came down to take tablets and kitchen was as I left it. He also didn't bother to get toddler dd ready for bed. I ended up having to change soiled nappy.

OP posts:

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